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How to leave a cliquey mums WhatsApp group

(58 Posts)
Lapetitemaz Thu 14-Mar-19 12:08:40

Hi mums

I’m after some advice. My twins are in reception and at the start of term some of the cliquey mums set up a What’sapp group and added me to it.

Over the course of the school year I’ve taken a step back from the group and declined social invites with them as I’m increasingly uncomfortable with how cliquey and also bitchy it’s becoming. I want no part of this. What’s also made it awkward is that someone added into the group chat a mum who is notorious for bitching/gossiping/back-stabbing (she did this to me friend) and I just do not trust this girl at all as can already see her working her usual tricks on some of these mums.

I guess what I’m asking is does anyone suggest a polite message I can send to explain why I’m leaving the group?! Or do you think not say anything. I don’t want to make a big deal out of it (and give any more reason for bitchiness!)

Thank you

Booyahkasha Fri 15-Mar-19 19:09:58

I left and they were as nasty as I thought. But do you know what, good riddance, I'm in my 40s and don't need the bitchiness and drama.

ThumbWitchesAbroad Fri 15-Mar-19 09:30:35

I agree that you should just mute notifications and then ignore it.

If you leave, there will be a notification that you have left the group - and if they are as bitchy as you say they are, then this will occasion comment and possibly some nastiness as a result. You can't leave the group in secret, doesn't work like that (as far as I know) so best to just hide it all away.

I've been in groups of friends where someone has just suddenly left for no apparent reason and it does cause comment - in our case, concern over the friend, and hoping that they're ok - but it rarely passes without SOMEONE noticing.

Drum2018 Thu 14-Mar-19 17:38:41

I've just muted a group and turned off notifications for it. While it's still there in my list of chats with the number of messages since I last looked, I don't open it and if any of them check to see who's reading they will know I haven't read it so can't expect me to know what's been said or query why I didn't make a meet up. It's a sensitive group so I don't want to be the first to leave. I was added to a group once where someone was looking for funding. I had no problem exiting that one :-)

SospanFrangipan Thu 14-Mar-19 17:02:08

I had some Mum friends whilst on mat leave. Didn't really see eye to eye with one of them. Anyways, long story short, she left my son out of a few things that everyone else was invited to. I left the group chat without saying a word, and haven't looked back. One mum messaged to see if was okay, to which I replied yes.
Like yourself, didn't like the bitchiness that one girl caused. Life is too short to be involved in crap like that!
Just do it smile

GinAndTings Thu 14-Mar-19 16:45:52

I just exited. No announcements - just left. then archived the chat.

No one messaged to ask why I left - so I did the right thing!

Springersrock Thu 14-Mar-19 16:41:00

I’d either mute or archive it

I left a WhatsApp group a little while ago and didn’t realise WhatsApp announced when someone had left a group chat and it caused no end of grief

Someone re-added me to the bloody thing so I’ve muted it now

sidesplittinglol Thu 14-Mar-19 16:37:50

I'd just leave the group but if it will be too confronting then, muting and archiving is the way to go.

Ironically, there's another post going on at the moment about a member of a chat not participating In the group and wanting to remove them. I wonder if these two are connected?

LonelyandTiredandLow Thu 14-Mar-19 16:35:14

Just send a msg saying you are cutting down on social media as a distraction, if they need you they know where to find you. Exit.

I had one where a woman was pinging every 3 minutes througout the day minus the hour at lunch from 9-5. Inane ramblings too, not even funny or interesting. "Oh I bought a new mug. Maybe I should have got 2?" and even worse stealth boasting "has anyone else's child read all of the Roald Dahl books already? Really not sure what to get DS for his 5th b.day now!" hmm

Save your sanity.

Aeroflotgirl Thu 14-Mar-19 16:08:06

Just exit it, simple as that.

CuppaSarah Thu 14-Mar-19 16:05:17

I'd just say you're not really using WhatsApp and am leaving the group as you're just not keeping up with it. Needn't be a drama. No one likes someone lurking silently on WhatsApp groups

MrsJayy Thu 14-Mar-19 16:04:37

Just say as suggested you have trouble keeping up with groups and leave. You say they are bitchy are you worried they will turn on you ? Doesit matter if they like you or not

Thistles24 Thu 14-Mar-19 16:00:37

I did similar. Waited until nothing had been posted for a couple of days, so it wouldn’t look like I’d taken offence to anyone in particular, and just left the group. No big drama, still talk to the ones that are sensible, but the amount of drama and teacher bashing that was going on was horrible.

BitchQueen90 Thu 14-Mar-19 15:04:04

I'd just leave. But then I'm not bothered about what other people say about me to be honest.

DannyDyersPants Thu 14-Mar-19 14:41:58

I think if you archive, the chat comes back again if someone sends a message? I could be wrong on this and if I am, let me know as there are quite a few group chats I need to archive!!

DannyDyersPants Thu 14-Mar-19 14:40:19

Mute notifications then every so often clear the chat without reading.

AtLeastThreeDrinks Thu 14-Mar-19 13:59:51

I'd just archive it; if you mute you can still see how many messages have been sent and there's too much temptation to read them. Archive, and if anyone asks in person just say you're trying to cut down screen time and figured anything important would be sent one on one.

Group messages can be really intrusive if they blow up at an inconvenient time and then you have to play catch up. Worse still if it's people you don't even want to chat to!

SausageMashandOnionGravy Thu 14-Mar-19 13:41:43

Mute and stop replying, it'll just get pushed down your conversation list and you won't see when anyone has posted in there. Or just leave the group... Say nothing the end.

RomanyQueen1 Thu 14-Mar-19 13:38:15

Just leave and make a point of saying it's because you are cutting back on social media as too busy to post, that's if you don't want a fuss.

Graziass Thu 14-Mar-19 13:29:17

Mute and archive but don't leave in case you want to stalk at some point wink

EerieSilence Thu 14-Mar-19 13:26:26

Open the group - Click on top of it where the numbers are - open Group Info - click on Exit Group.
Instant relief.

Lapetitemaz Thu 14-Mar-19 13:17:40

Thanks for the advice ladies! I’m definitely not after any drama at all so will mute the group and archive too.

The girls are not actively excluding me on the group but they do exclude in the playground- which quite honestly just makes me glad to be more distant from them.

School playgrounds huh?!

shinyNewPound Thu 14-Mar-19 13:11:32

There are two groups I mute regularly. Just mute.

TeaforTwoBiscuitOrThree Thu 14-Mar-19 13:09:15

Mute or archive the group.

AguerosAngel Thu 14-Mar-19 13:06:59

Another one here for just muting the group! However nicely you word an exit message it will cause drama by the sounds of it!

winsinbin Thu 14-Mar-19 13:06:18

I agree. Leave the group now without any reasons or excuses. If anyone asks tell them you got fed up of WhatsApp.

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