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Or is this RIDICULOUS!!! - Wedding

(408 Posts)
HappyHattie Thu 14-Mar-19 10:16:05

I get married in 12 weeks time.

I booked a hairstylist over eight months ago! After careful consideration...etc. (I’d heard good things about this salon/ read reviews online).

I asked to come in for a trial earlier but was told no, not until 2-3 months before- this seemed to be standard practise amongst wedding hair stylist...so fine.

Went for my ‘trial’ the other day (keeping in mind that it’s a stately home wedding, and I have two very shy under 10 flower girls looking forward to getting their hair done, so I want the morning getting ready to be chilled out...etc)

The woman I’d expected (heard good things about) was no longer there. The woman who did my hair was...not right. I’m not even kidding. My mother (who came with me) had to go for a walk, she felt so uncomfortable and some of the things the salon staff were saying 🙄.

Also, heavily tattooed (sleeves down both arms and neck). Long black acrylic nails- absoloutley wouldn’t look right in any getting ready pics. And my hair started falling out 30 mine after I left 😒

Not an option. So I rang about 20 other wedding hair stylists yesterday to be told...sorry we book like a year in advance. Which is fair enough, but if none of them offer trials until 2-3 months before the date, then what the hell are you supposed to do if your trial goes horribly???

You have no other choice!!!

Short of not getting a hairstylist (and we need one)...I have no idea what the hell to do!

Kennehora Sun 17-Mar-19 16:17:18

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Teacher22 Sun 17-Mar-19 13:19:12

Pinkyredrose. I am not 'presum[ing] to know how most people are thinking' but going on their stated opinions. Virtue signalling cannot happen through telepathy.

pinkyredrose Sun 17-Mar-19 09:42:35

@Teacher22 it's pretty arrogant to presume you know how most people are really thinking though.

Hanumantelpiece Sun 17-Mar-19 09:29:46

Meh, I had "before" photos (just a few), and that was over 20 yes ago. A couple of snaps at the salon, and a couple at the place they did my make up. What did the hairdresser look like? No idea, the photos were of me.
However, I had already had a trial at that salon and knew they could get my hair how I wanted. If they'd done a crap job, I'd have gone elsewhere.
I don't remember the hairdresser being in the photo, just a shot taken over my shoulder showing 'hair up' in a salon setting.

SheWoreBlueVelvet Sun 17-Mar-19 07:32:26

Teacher22 You aren’t wrong.
The utter derision of the Op for having “ before” photos is a load of toss too. It’s absolutely bog standard to have a few now.
Why? because of course everything is photographed more then before because we all have got used to carrying a camera on us all day. So it’s a logical step to think about composition in a way we didn’t 20 years ago.

Op is being made out to be some narcissistic, opinionated control freak with a naff wedding for having pre wedding shots. In reality she is doing what the majority of brides do nowadays.

Whereareyouspot Sun 17-Mar-19 07:16:05

After reading the prenup thread your hair is the least of your worries tbh

anniehm Sun 17-Mar-19 07:04:23

Having read this thread earlier I was booking hairdressers myself yesterday, not a wedding but for a ball. I was clearly told I was booking the salon not a specific stylist, as they have had issues with people complaining that "their hairdresser" was substituted when the reason was the stylist has left or taken annual leave that day. (I also was booking for 8 people so quite an ask though thankfully only paying for 3! Luckily they have suggested they will shut the salon and come to me)

Teacher22 Sun 17-Mar-19 06:54:47

Both. Pretty universal. But I am retired now so teaching may suddenly have become full of normal people just getting on with their jobs and I wouldn’t have known.

HarrysOwl Sun 17-Mar-19 06:32:06

@Teacher22

OR most people genuinely wouldn't give a flying fuck regarding what their hairdresser looked like and wouldn't be so precious.

'Your observations' have founded your virtue signalling opinions; I'm interested, are these observations in a professional capacity or just your (happen to be hypocritical) mates?

Teacher22 Sun 17-Mar-19 06:23:02

Pinkyredrose, virtue signalling is the public utterance of politically or socially acceptable views to signal that one’s thought echo the current dogma which is, de facto, almost entirely of a left wing persuasion. My contention is that P.C. Virtue signalling is almost always, to some degree, hypocritical. I observe that virtue signallers talk one way but live another.

In this case, I suggest that many Mumsnetters, have enjoyed a blast at the OP’s stated dislike of a heavily, offensively tattooed woman, but would never employ such a person for their weddings themselves. In this case the effects of tattoos on the sensitivities of others coupled with the additional fact that they are inappropriate too makes the OP’s judgement seem merely rational.

Rationality in this age of virtue signalling, ‘mind forged manacles’ and sheeplike crowd following is a rare commodity. One has to go a long way to find people who are capable of thinking for themselves.

Luckily, the odd few lurk on Mumsnet.

Bookworm4 Sat 16-Mar-19 22:44:27

Pre nup thread
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3481523-DP-wants-a-prenup

pinkyredrose Sat 16-Mar-19 20:52:45

@Teacher22 how is it virtue signalling?

Teacher22 Sat 16-Mar-19 20:48:13

All these posts criticising you for noticing and worrying about tattoos are typical virtue signalling and I suspect the pc outraged would think and do exactly as you in your place. You are quite right to worry. Trust your instincts. If someone doesn’t feel right and her hairstyle does not stay in for more than half an hour then you need to find someone else.

Look on the websites and put out calls on social media. My DD has just had a hair trial and the hairdresser told her people often cancel and spaces become available. Get your friends on the case too.

hellenbackagen Sat 16-Mar-19 16:35:38

I wouldn't be so happy with the hairdresser leaving and not being told . I book always with one specific person. (And I follow her around when she leaves!).

The tattoos and nails wouldn't bother me. The hair not staying in style would though.

Renster Sat 16-Mar-19 16:07:20

Yes, marriage is a contract I agree. But to enter into a marriage saying kind of 'but just in case it goes wrong, you're not having my pension, you get this, you don't get that etc etc is a bit clinical, don't you think? Smacks to me of mistrust, like sorting out the end before it's even begun. And that's not a good basis for a marriage, IMO.

Hanumantelpiece Sat 16-Mar-19 13:57:42

Can anyone pls link to the prenup thread? The only other post I can find which seems to be by the OP is about a maternity dress and mentions a DH.

LaraLondon1 Sat 16-Mar-19 13:38:55

I wouldn’t change hairdressers at this stage . Just don’t have those pics.
Also it was a trial so just feedback to her , I’m sure she can work out that for the day. Simples smile don’t make a bigger deal out of it 🙄

GladAllOver Sat 16-Mar-19 12:59:33

But marriage IS a contract. That's its purpose.

Renster Sat 16-Mar-19 12:51:03

I’ve just read the pre nup thread.
This isn’t a marriage. It’s a business arrangement.

MatildaTheGreat Sat 16-Mar-19 12:47:50

grin

GladAllOver Sat 16-Mar-19 12:39:55

Anyone would think she was the fucking bridesmaid
Now that really would look good in the album!

InsertFunnyUsername Sat 16-Mar-19 12:32:50

Honestly, if a hand in the corner of a photo holding a pair of curling tongs is enough to ruin your wedding photos, i would hate to see your face when they snap unflattering photos or a child with a finger up its nose.

Unless you're going to have a portrait of the hairdresser, standing in all her glory i just dont see the issue. Fair enough if you dont like her work, but black nails and some tattoos is your limit, really confused

Folf Sat 16-Mar-19 11:41:02

getting ready photo's really aren't a new thing.

Maybe i'm biased because one of my closest friends is a wedding MUA and her DH a photographer, its not unusual for the photographer to be invited into the brides home, or the hotel beforehand to take pictures of the whole process.

It might not be important to you guys, but a lot of brides want to have memories of the fun and anticipation of getting ready.

While I dont necessarily agree about her opinions on the stylists appearance, this ragging on her about wanting getting ready pictures needs to stop.

outpinked Sat 16-Mar-19 10:37:40

You lost me at the ‘getting ready photos’ hmm.

Lweji Sat 16-Mar-19 10:35:31

I don't have to want that choice plastered all over my wedding photos.

That will make for some interesting wedding invitations.

We are pleased to invite you.... But no visible tats anywhere or you'll be banned from my wedding photos.

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