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AIBU to think that dating in your 40's is non existent?

(47 Posts)
Lostalot Wed 13-Mar-19 22:29:55

Just that really. Worked myself up to OLD after years being single. I think i am at least average in looks department. I have 'liked' a few people,though no response / nothing is happening!! Just a few older by at least 10years men have expressed any interest. i would really like someone around my own age tbh..
If you have met someone in your 40's plus who was nice and normal where/how did you meet?

BlimeyCalmDown Wed 13-Mar-19 22:31:50

I meet lots on internet dating (I'm 47), I use POF (Plenty of Fish) and Tinder. Sometimes have 3 a week!

Chaotica Wed 13-Mar-19 22:32:16

Watching with interest, although I have to admit that's what I imagined it would be like...

Lostalot Wed 13-Mar-19 22:35:23

what is the quality like though?

Lostalot Wed 13-Mar-19 22:36:49

Are you based in a big city?

MondeoFan Wed 13-Mar-19 22:37:20

I met someone at 41 OLD and was pregnant at 42 so anything is achievable

Lostalot Wed 13-Mar-19 22:37:56

Three a week! Sounds like a full time job!

AbsolutelyValidNonBullshit Wed 13-Mar-19 22:38:15

45 here. Single approaching 9 years. Haven't had a date in 8 years. Gave up on OLD.

BlimeyCalmDown Wed 13-Mar-19 22:39:01

Pretty good, I tend to go on a first date quite quickly, I don't like messaging for ages as you get a preconceived idea of what they are like and unless your psychic they usually aren't what you thought. I'd say I'm very open as well, so happy to give someone the chance if they meet a basic criteria. I've rarely not enjoyed the evening or afternoon even if I've not felt a romantic connection, very small amount of duds.

Lostalot Wed 13-Mar-19 22:39:06

What site Mondoe? Well done - good going!!

BlimeyCalmDown Wed 13-Mar-19 22:39:41

Yes London, which makes it alot easier

MissusHoolie Wed 13-Mar-19 22:40:17

Been OLD for years. Never had a date.

Babygrey7 Wed 13-Mar-19 22:40:25

I have heard that all 40-something men want 30-something (or younger) women

Women want a man the same age. Men.want younger women

So young men, and middle aged women find dating hardest

AbsolutelyValidNonBullshit Wed 13-Mar-19 22:41:55

Babygrey then you heard wrong

Fiveredbricks Wed 13-Mar-19 22:42:03

40s men want 30s women, generally. Lie about your age and see if the uptake changes. For science.

Lostalot Wed 13-Mar-19 22:43:00

Blimey you've been on a lot of dates then - none of them turned into longer relationships as yet?

Absolutely - i can see why so far!! Trying to remain positive at this stage.

Lostalot Wed 13-Mar-19 22:45:31

Misses - years - poor yo.

Baby -ive heard that,

BlimeyCalmDown Wed 13-Mar-19 22:45:50

Yes I've had a 2yr, 3yr, 2mths and 4mths, been back on it for a month.

SpongeBobJudgeyPants Wed 13-Mar-19 22:46:23

I was divorced and 50 when I started OLD. Yes, there are some disapointing men, but its all online, and you get the chance to weed out obvious red flags. Over 2 years, I had messages/some kind of contact with about 200 people. There was plenty of time-wasting and faffing about, and there were times I took a rest from it. I actually only went on a date with one person. Reader, I married him. And he's a couple of years than me, so they are out there. Don't give up hope, but be very cynical in your approach. Treat it a bit like, "Would I employ this person for this role" grin

Lostalot Wed 13-Mar-19 22:48:32

Wow sponge you give me hope! Well done!

Lostalot Wed 13-Mar-19 22:49:24

Success stories which sites did you use?

kabanner Wed 13-Mar-19 22:51:25

4 years of doing it has made me think it is the worse cess pool ever. I live in a very rural part of the UK though.

64sNewName Wed 13-Mar-19 22:52:31

YANBU; I think online sounds really tough and I feel fortunate to have met someone another way.

I met DP at a monthly gathering semi-specific to our profession - a casual early evening thing in a pub. Lots of encouragement to introduce yourself to new people etc.

We saw each other there a few months running, and then he offered me a lift home and after that we started emailing and then we fell in lurrrve music swells in our creaky happy midlife way.

I was early forties and he was mid/late forties.

SpongeBobJudgeyPants Wed 13-Mar-19 22:53:03

Thanks, and I'm a bit fat too grin I used UK Free Dating. I had tried, which wasn't cheap, and did some slightly dodgy thing of indicating people were interested in your profile when they weren't. I can't remember all the details, but it was quite disingenuous, or dodgy as, certainly from my point of view. Less time wasters on there though.

Munchkingoat Wed 13-Mar-19 22:54:59

Last partner meet on OLD was with him for 7 years. Now with the actual love of my life, Also meet on OLD. I'm 47

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