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To be pregnant just returning to work from mat leave?

(55 Posts)
Alicia870 Wed 13-Mar-19 17:37:14

I have a 5 month old dc and will be returning to work part time when she is 8 months old. I have such a desire to get pregnant again as both my husband and I want babies close together and feel I am really in the baby mindset and really want to continue focusing on my family.

If it weren't for work, I probably would be really excited at expanding our family but does it look bad that I would be returning after a 9 month period of leave and telling them I'm pregnant again?

Justheretogiveaviewfrommyworld Wed 13-Mar-19 17:38:56

I don't think your boss/ colleagues would be happy, but they can't stop you so your choice.

Hollowvictory Wed 13-Mar-19 17:39:58

It happens, but check your eligibility for the 2nd lot of maternity pay. also whether your children would be in the same year at school, nor everyone wants that if they're not twins.

Frenchmontana Wed 13-Mar-19 17:40:16

They, technically, cant do anything.

However, depending on the company, it could damage chances of future progression. Not sure if that's a consideration.

Also what mat benefits will be impacted? And is that ok?

EC22 Wed 13-Mar-19 17:40:20

I went back 11 weeks pregnant, it was great going back knowing there was a countdown to being off again.

Ohjustboreoff Wed 13-Mar-19 17:40:48

I had 12 months off with my first and came back pregnant. Work didn't blink and just organised for my second lot of Mat Leave. There is 17 months between my two.
I suppose it depends what your place of work is like. I work for a very big organisation so really wouldn't be missed but I'm sure it would be different for a smaller firm.

PotteringAlong Wed 13-Mar-19 17:40:57

It’s completely legal and they’re not allowed to be publically anything but completely fine with it, but I think it’s fair to say they will be a bit pissed off quietly.

Lazypuppy Wed 13-Mar-19 17:40:57

Yes it will look bad, and you colleagues are unlikely to like you for it.

If you want kids close together though then that' what is gonna happen.

For me, job progression is also important, so don't plan on having another for at least 3/4years

CountFosco Wed 13-Mar-19 17:43:52

I did it. Got the baby stage over quickly. I don't think most decent people get pissed off about it (my old boss did but he was an arse, I moved depts and was much happier), most people assume you are going to have more than one so it just shortens the speculation.

crosspelican Wed 13-Mar-19 17:47:00

What do you want from your career in the long term? It definitely won't do anything for your projected progression in your current role, although it's not illegal, of course.

buttertoff33 Wed 13-Mar-19 17:48:12

totally legal and you are completely within your right to do this. I had colleagues who came back pregnant from mat leave and tbh, it did not go down too well - both with the colleagues and the management - a lot of bitching was going on.

Have you considered sharing parental leave with your DH?

depends also how serious you are about your career - you may not have one but only have a 'job' - there are various things to consider not just how it 'looks' but what it means in real terms for you and how it impacts your long term plans job wise.

Kittykatmacbill Wed 13-Mar-19 17:49:25

I did this! Went back after a year, was 11 weeks pregnant. It was fine. Wasn’t massively fun telling people after 13 week scan.

Not sure it helps, having a big gap between mat leaves, least it was all over in 3 years and back at the career (sort of).

Alicia870 Wed 13-Mar-19 17:52:32

I do have a professional job and career but to be honest for me personally it is not a priority for me. I work there to pay the bills and would be content to stay in my current role long term. It is a big company and I wouldn't be handing over to a replacement or anything.
Part of me feels that They shouldn't really have a right to be annoyed about it as it is part and parcel of life that women reproduce and I am in my 30s and in the grand scheme of my career a couple of years out close together doesn't make that much difference. It would have to be done at some stage anyway. I do also feel concerned though about them thinking I just don't care about work and that it makes me look unprofessional

Passthecake30 Wed 13-Mar-19 17:52:59

I did it, went back and fell pg almost immediately. Tbh they sort of expected it.

HavelockVetinari Wed 13-Mar-19 17:53:02

I'd have loved to be in that situation - sadly despite 2 rounds of IVF since DS was born 20 months ago I'm still not pregnant again. When we went for the first round post-birth I was well aware that it might hamper my career progression, but there are years to build a career, and having another DC was (and is) an overwhelming desire.

As it happened, I got promoted just after the first round failed, so either way I'd have progressed, but I must admit it's been easier coping with loads more responsibilities without also having my head down the loo 10 times a day, so every cloud...

BikeRunSki Wed 13-Mar-19 17:54:35

When I managed someone who did this, I just extended her maternity cover. Was actually quite straight forward, the pg staff member was back for 12 weeks before leaving again, during which time she assisted HR on a big recruitment campaign - worked well because she had the technical expertise to identify really good candidates. Obviously, this only works in large companies, but in this instance, it wasn’t a problem.

terriblyangryattimes Wed 13-Mar-19 17:56:49

Yes I went back to work 3 months pregnant (had a year off the first time) and all was fine but depending on your mat policy your pay is worked out on the average of the last 12 weeks before you start next lot of maternity leave.

PinkFootedGoose Wed 13-Mar-19 17:58:36

As a manager I would not be super bothered by this. Means I don't have to wonder when/if you're going off again, and compresses the amount of disruption on the rest of the team. The only way I could see it hampering progression is if a promotion came up immediately on your return from first mat leave and you didn't want to go for it because of your upcoming circumstances.

IWannaSeeHowItEnds Wed 13-Mar-19 18:01:44

There are some jobs where you can be off and it's no big deal, it's easy to get cover etc. But if what you do is quite specialist or rare or requires expensive and time consuming training, then I believe that doing taking two lots of leave in a short time is very selfish. In some roles the cost and time involved in training a replacement is prohibitive for the employer and so it means colleagues will have an increased work load to cover you.
I think it's piss taking tbh - it's not unreasonable for your employer to expect you to do the job they hired you for. I think your colleagues will resent you and it will impact on future career progression.

Alicia870 Wed 13-Mar-19 18:04:06

@IWannaSeeHowItEnds thankfully I'm not in the type of role you're talking about.

Polarbearflavour Wed 13-Mar-19 18:04:21

I wouldn’t worry OP! Family is more important than work.

We don’t yet live in a state where your employer can govern your fertility, I’m sure some posters would prefer that!

SurgeHopper Wed 13-Mar-19 18:06:31

In your 30s - crack on. The career can wait.

happysaturday Wed 13-Mar-19 18:09:10

Do what's right for you/your family OP.

Yes your employer may be a little peeved, but you've got to ask yourself how much would your employer put your wishes above their own business objectives etc?

Someone once said to me to always prioritise your family over work and used the analogy that... if you leave your job your colleagues and friends will miss you for a few weeks, but it will not have a lasting impact on them. If you left your family (or they lost you) it would have a massive impact on the rest of their lives. Not totally fitting for your AIBU I know, but the point still stands.

Do what is best for you!

OwlBeThere Wed 13-Mar-19 18:11:58

I did it. I can’t imagine it’s that unusual to have someone back pregnant after 9 months to a year really. My work we’re fine, there was the odd ‘don’t you have a tv’ comment but otherwise it was fine.

IWannaSeeHowItEnds Wed 13-Mar-19 18:12:45

It is true though that employers have very little about loyalty to employees, so in that sense you should please yourself.
I think I'm just grumpy about it because DH ended up doing a lot of extra work to cover a colleagues mat leave and at the time all I could think about was that her time with her baby was costing DH time with his.
But I think I'm probably unreasonable.

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