Couples who do absolutely everything together(735 Posts)
Not so much an AIBU as obviously it is up to them but I must admit I'm slightly miffed by this. I know a few couples like this, one for example that go to the GP together (and he will go in with her) for non emergency appointments, she will go to put petrol in the car and he will pop along for the ride etc.
A couple (parents) in my ds' class appear to be joined at the hip. They do pick ups together, there was a class meeting recently where due to space it was requested that only 1 parent attend and of course they both came. DS had a playdate at their house and both came to the door to meet me. I reciprocated recently and both came to my door to collect their ds.
A friend got married abroad, did a 'girls' day at her house to show the video and one woman brought her partner because it would be 'more fun'.
Again, this is light hearted and I don't think there are any social anxiety/ASD/DV issues going on, the women concerned just seem to want to be with their partners all the time.
What is the aibu?
If this is what both members of the couple want to do, then it's fine. They can do what they like.
Yup some are really happy at the hips and some need space. It is interesting to see how others live, just reminds us how everyone is different in this world.
I'm guessing arethere that you are one of those couples Of course they can do what they like, I said that in my OP. My AIBU is AIBU to be a bit miffed about couples who go absolutely everywhere together?
I find it annoying when I think I'm meeting a girlfriend for drinks or a meal and she brings her OH along. One friend won't have nights out without her husband, so on the rare occasion I get to leave the house (small kids) I want to meet here she insists my husband comes too as company for hers I don't want to waste babysitting chits from in laws on nights with friends, we save them for when we need them (date night). I've just stopped going on nights out with her TBH
I know it’s nothing to do with me what couples do but this does annoy me so I don’t think you’re unreasonable. I have one friend that I would love to have a conversation with/meal/night out with without their partner present at all occasions
Why would you be miffed?
It's certainly not for me and my DH but if it suits some couples, I couldn't get miffed about it.
Oh yes, I wouldn't be friends with anyone who insisted on bringing their partner with them, if I just wanted to go for a meal or a night out with them alone.
But I don't know anyone like that.
My DSis always wonders why DH and I go shopping together when I could just go on my own like she does. She says she likes the peace away from her DP. My answer to that was simply because I really like my DH. We want to spend time together. Everyone is different and whilst I wouldn't take him on a girl's night out or anything, we both go on the school run etc together. Why not?
I've found it's often a controlling thing actually. I have one friend whose husband (if he's home) will sit down with us when she invites me over for coffee and chat. I find it bizarre.
I'm not massively keen on any couples things though, so it might just be me.
My mum and dad are a bit like this, she goes food shopping alone but pretty much everything else they do together. It doesn't bother me but they don't have any friends outside each other really so I worry about what they'd do if something happened to one of them.
I know a couple like this and it’s weird. They even share a Facebook account ‘because we have all the same friends’ which is fine. But it means I’m not really friends with her anymore because I can’t ever talk to her without him there. And before anyone says it, it’s definitely not a control thing on his part. Her I’m more doubtful of as she’s quite s bossy controlling person anyway.
I'm not referring to couples who do things together, I mean the ones who seem unable to do anything apart. Worra I'm miffed about a lot of things, hence I'm asking on here for opinions.
bringing over your boyfriend on a girls day or weekend is rude.
Apart from that, YABU to be so judgmental. If they are happy that way, and it's a common decision, why wouldn't they stay together?
I always refuse weddings invitations or weekends away if they are not with DH. I would never go on holiday without him either. I don't care if it's bothering someone else, it's none of their business.
I could go on my own, I don't want to. We already see very little of each other during the week, I like his company. We occasionally meet for coffee or a drink during the day when we can escape the office.
I also completely understand that anything said in confidence to a friend can be repeated to her DH. It's kind of normal.
When couples do drop in and pick up together, I wonder when they manage to work! There are some parents like that in my kids school, but I know they both work shifts and when they can, they are together. It's rather sweet.
Other people's business, sure. But I have to admit it does make me laugh when I hear them say 'WE think' ... as if they only have one brain between the two of them.
And as for 'we're pregnant' - urm, how does that work then? No, you're not. SHE is! To anyone who persists in perpetuating this delusion, come back to me when you have a prolapse and pee yourself when you sneeze ...
The only time it would bother me is if I was making plans with a friend and they always insisted on bringing their partner. At best it would annoy me, at worst I would think that it could be a controlling relationship.
Years ago I had a friend who would always bring her DH on girls takeaway nights at a mutual friend’s house. Never understood why. It was really irritating. It’s not that we didn’t like him, but it wasn’t the point of the evening.
I have an old school friend who always brings her husband on reunion trips where our (all girls) school friends catch up. I find it infuriating because it completely changes the dynamic. If couples want to spend all their free time together, fine, but not on trips or nights out for specific groups of people!
(Me and she also have a couple we’re friends with who went on each other’s stag/hen dos. So awkward!)
My DH & I are together a lot. More or less 24/7. We work together (our own business).
We just get on so well, best mates as well as partners, and although I have friends and see them I just love his company. We have the same sense of humour & outlook on life.
BUT I do have anxiety & other things going on and my therapist has told me I HAVE to start doing more on my own - so I'm seeing it may not be 100 percent healthy and I'm going to start doing more by myself.
Tough though, we have the same interests too so it's not easy saying "I'm going hiking, you stay at home" and he looks sad.
I think YABu, a little bit.
You don't know that they're with their other half ALL the time, unless you are them, or your stalk them. Like the couple from school, you don't know that she doesn't see her girlfriends independently, he doesn't have a hobby once a week etc. You just see glimpses. I actually think it's nice that both parents are interested in school stuff.
Some people probably think I spend a lot of time with my husband. We do - certainly compared to some couples I know where the husband will be off at golfing/rugby/singing all weekend for example. But then I'm secretly judging them, because I'm thinking, what's the point of having a family and working all week and then not spending quality time?
I do see friends without my husband, about once a month, and he sees friends separately too. Probably more often we socialise in a mixed group of friends with men and women. I can definitely see people judging us the way you're judging the people in your OP. But fuck em, I actually like spending time with my parner so shrug
Re: annoying women bringing their partners along. "Shall we make it a girls only thing? Bob can't come that day". "Is Bernard coming, or just girls?" Etc. It's really not that hard.
We go food shopping together I hate it so we do it together and it's faster. We probably do do a lot together but we actually like being in each other's company, we do have separate friends and nights out etc.
My partner does chat to my friends if they call but that's cos he is friendly and is interested! And also now because some of my friends are his too!
I have an old school mate whom I only see irregularly now due to living far from each other. I'd forgotten how they do everything together until a few months ago when her and I arranged a weekend away. Confirming hotel bookings with her - she'd booked a room for them both. So.it was a weekend for them with me tagging along.
Oooooh I was rather furious.
thedisorganisedmum do you never meet friends for a coffee etc or a day out without your DH?
So.it was a weekend for them with me tagging along
Did you and your friend go off and do your own thing while he entertained himself or did you have to spend time with both of them?
I personally find Eins Zwei Zero available at Waitrose very nice.
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