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Socially awkward asking for help ...

(11 Posts)
sadkoala Wed 13-Mar-19 09:22:13

A couple of years ago I moved to a new area and haven't really made any friends. I can't remember the last time I went out without DP and his friends/couples as I have no one to go with and I'm generally pretty unsure how to be.

I have been invited to a baby shower next month which is a bit of a big deal for me as I am generally friendless (see above) but I have no idea what gift to buy and what to wear to a baby shower that's held in the house.

Can I have some suggestions please?
Do I buy gift for mum or baby? I was thinking mum as she is due about a month after the baby shower so we will get a gift for baby then?
Also all the ladies going are quite fashionable and up to date with hair/makeup/clothes and I haven't even bought a new top in over a year 😑

Can anyone help my hopeless self?

thegreylady Wed 13-Mar-19 09:35:49

Honestly I would just wear your normal daytime clothes although you could treat yourself to a new top. If money is tight Sainsbury’s have some nice ones at the moment. As for the gift I would take something small for the baby and something for mum too. When dd had her babies she was given a pack of coloured musin squares which have so many different uses and last years.
For mum it depends on budget I think. Half bottle of sparkling wine maybe, some lovely hand cream, a small photo album, some luxury macaroons maybe. Keep it small and special.

JoinTheDots Wed 13-Mar-19 09:36:58

The last baby shower I went to, I got a little something for both the mum and the baby. I chose some lovely body butter cream and some of the mum's favourite chocolates for her, and also a 0 - 3 outfit (babygrows) for the new arrival. Covered all the bases and was not expensive.

What to wear... well, if it is at someones house, I personally would either wear a casual dress and tights or jeans and a nice top. I am not highly fashionable though! It is what I feel comfy in, but feel I have also made a little bit of an effort with. There are lots of helpful people (not judgy or scary) on the style and beauty boards though, so you could ask the fashion question there?

I hope you have a lovely time! Maybe see if you can arrange to see some of the people there for coffee another time, to build on the friendships?

MummyStruggles Wed 13-Mar-19 09:38:54

I know it's easy to sit here and type some advice to you but I'd say try not to overthink it, if possible.

If the baby shower is being held in a house then I would just go in jeans and a nice (new) top - treat yourself, you deserve it!

The last baby shower I went to, I bought the baby a gift and then when the lady had the baby, I got her a bottle of champagne.

Piffle11 Wed 13-Mar-19 09:59:11

I would dress as if I was going to an afternoon tea: nice dress, or smart jeans/trousers and top. Gift wise: if you're planning on buying the baby a gift after the birth, then for the shower I would buy a little something for the baby (100% cotton Babygro or a little pack of 3 tops/vests) and maybe something like a bottle of bubble bath for the mum to be. I didn't have a shower, but I really appreciated the bubble bath/pamper type treats people gave me once I had given birth. If you're struggling for conversation always ask people about themselves - make them talk instead of having the focus on you. If they have DC, ask them about them. Have a few questions ready - ones that can't be answered 'yes' or 'no.

BooksAreMyOnlyFriends Wed 13-Mar-19 10:27:14

Socially awkward here too! My main advice would be dont overthink it amd escalate the worry to the point you are too worried to go. Remember that you won't be the only person there who finds social interaction difficult, it's more common than you think. Plus the attention will mostly be on MTB so you can just sit there and enjoy letting her have her moment.

I would buy a gift for MTB and small one for baby. Lovely soap and hand cream would be good as you constantly wash your hands as a new mum. Bodysuits for baby - you can never have enough!

I hope you go along and enjoy it. Get yourself a little treat for afterwards to reward yourself flowers

sadkoala Wed 13-Mar-19 19:03:41

Thanks .

Has anyone got any links to any nice bits for a mum to be?
I don't really know which brands etc are good.
I know she likes nice things as when I've visited before the hand wash and cream in the bathroom was Jo Malone. And the house is lovely, immaculate and very looked after. The couple as a whole are very organised etc.

JoinTheDots Wed 13-Mar-19 20:51:44

I think I got the Burts Bees Mama Bee (you can find it on Amazon for about a tenner) body butter. Babygrows were from Waitrose / John Lewis, again about a tenner for 3.

Shelby2010 Wed 13-Mar-19 21:18:17

If it’s at someone’s house, make sure your socks are respectable - just in case they are ‘shoes off’!

Sizeofalentil Wed 13-Mar-19 21:22:06

Buy a fashionable teething necklace - then it's a present for both

Bringbackthestripes Wed 13-Mar-19 21:30:53

Depends on your budget

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