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(4 Posts)
ijustneedagoodshake Tue 12-Mar-19 18:05:21

I'm posting here for the replies. I know this can be a harsh thread but it's tough love usually.

My exh has put me through a lot.
Emotional abuse. Financial abuse.
Non csa payments, fiddling his books to make sure he pays almost nothing despite earning four times as much as me.

Blackmail, issues with our old house.
Threats to me. Abuse to me.

Letting our child down in various ways.

Now and again I think about him and I feel really sorry for him. No family near him to support him.

Suspected bi polar and depression. Issues with drinking and gambling.

I can't support him. My family and partner would go ape. After what he's put me through.

But now and again I still feel so so sorry for him. And I feel sad. To think of him going through this alone. Even if it is if his own making.

I've forgiven him until a year ago when I went no contact. He doesn't see his daughter.

I know he is telling everyone I've stopped him. I haven't I've just said I can't facilitate it anymore seeing him and he needs
To go to court to get something written up or go to a contact centre. Which he still hasn't.

I need you to give me some tough love here please as I know I need to give my head a wobble.

I just worry about him now and again and it does make me feel sad how he lives his life and I just want him to get better at life in general and I genuinely want him to be happy.

ijustneedagoodshake Tue 12-Mar-19 19:01:39

What no one even wants to tell me to get a grip?!

Littleraindrop15 Tue 12-Mar-19 19:09:02

Op I would say get a grip but I'll advise you to get counselling because the way you are feeling about him suggests he still has some influence on you similar to Stockholm syndrome (obviously not to that extent) you need to be completely free from feeling anything remotely sorry for this douch.

Stay strong op and don't whatever you do initiate contact as he will lure you back in x

M4J4 Tue 12-Mar-19 19:14:14

This man emotionally and financially abused you.

He's continuing that abuse by denying your child maintenance even though he earns 4x as much as you and by blackmailing and threatening you. And also lying to people that you have stopped him seeing his chid.

You owe him NOTHING. Feeling sorry for someone is never a good reason to stay in someone's life. He won't thank you for it.

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