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To think this is a cheeky way to invite someone to a wedding.

(153 Posts)
ThereWillBeAdequateFood Tue 12-Mar-19 17:45:19

This is the second time someone’s done this recently.

Received a message from bride to be. “Just checking if you are free on XXXth August”

I replied “I think so, haven’t book a holiday yet.”

She replies “Great that’s our wedding day, so glad you will be able to make it.”

The invite arrives a few weeks later for an evening invite. So I feel committed to the bloomin thing - I’m now meant to sort out holidays and child care around an evening invite to her wedding.

Am I being a bit of a bitch, I feel really annoyed by this.

NameChangeNugget Tue 12-Mar-19 18:11:42

Evening invites are the best. Get the day to yourself, miss all the boring shit & you can get on it, in the evening grin

ReggieWoo Tue 12-Mar-19 18:11:45

Rookie error. Always say you're not sure and ask why.

Never say yes. You could have been roped into anything.

RandomMess Tue 12-Mar-19 18:12:25

Well you and the DC are free but the DC aren't invited so 🤷🏽‍♀️

thedisorganisedmum Tue 12-Mar-19 18:14:55

I think evening-only invites are rude!
couldn't agree more, and I always decline them.

If you are free and have nothing better to do that day, you can still go. If you can't be bothered, say that something (family related for example) came up and you can't get out of it.

ThereWillBeAdequateFood Tue 12-Mar-19 18:18:40

I can't see how "great you can come to the wedding" is remotely rude. What was she meant to say "great, that means it's worth sending you an invite

No she definitely meant “great you can come to the wedding”

I don’t actually mind an evening invite. It just feels a bit cheeky to me. I may well be overthinking it though.

screamifyouwant Tue 12-Mar-19 18:20:15

I can't believe your annoyed about being invited to a wedding.
And if you really don't like this person and don't want to go she won't care that you don't go .

twistable Tue 12-Mar-19 18:20:49

I agree with OP

She is trying to tie you into something before you even know what it is. Backing you into a corner so that you feel obliged to come.

If you don't want to go just decline saying work/holiday/childcare plans have changed or that you thought she meant are you free in the day

MarthasGinYard Tue 12-Mar-19 18:21:22

"Are you free on blah"


"Great come to my wedding"

How on earth is this cheeky??

twistable Tue 12-Mar-19 18:21:48

It's the first message that's the worst for me. Manipulation at its finest

screamifyouwant Tue 12-Mar-19 18:23:20

I don’t actually mind an evening invite. It just feels a bit cheeky to me.
So you don't mind that you've been invited it's just that she assumed you are coming hmm
You've got issues !!

Springwalk Tue 12-Mar-19 18:25:50

Presumptuous is perhaps the word you are looking for. You hadn’t committed to anything and she ignored your reply and assumed you would go.

I am assuming she isn’t a special friend as you wouldn’t feel this irritated.

Decline and move on

FraggleRocking Tue 12-Mar-19 18:30:33

Massive overthinking.

Myimaginarycathasfleas Tue 12-Mar-19 18:30:42

Not a big deal. Perhaps she’s worried about non attendance to an August wedding so wanted to sound people out directly for a response in case they need to change the date. You won’t be the only one she rang, that was probably her prepared response to people who said they were free.

Just decline if you don’t want to go.

ThereWillBeAdequateFood Tue 12-Mar-19 18:32:39

So you don't mind that you've been invited it's just that she assumed you are coming hmm.You've got issues

I don’t mind an evening invite. I dislike being asked my availability and then it being presumed I will come to the wedding. I may have issues though grin

SargeantAngua Tue 12-Mar-19 18:34:45

To me the only real mistake was not letting you know when she contacted you that it was an evening only invitation, and sounds like she was a bit presumptuous about your coming.

Hmm I'm now wondering if I was rude... I messaged closest friends and family once we had set a date with a sort of "do you think you'll be around on the xth of ymonth", who generally guessed what I was talking about and responded along the lines of "ooh have you set a date?". But... it's a fairly small wedding (70ish), there are no evening only invitations, and for some who have to travel a way, especially with young kids, it was a way of letting them know all the details asap so they could think about logistics and whether they could come.

screamifyouwant Tue 12-Mar-19 18:36:24

So do you not want to go then ?

ThereWillBeAdequateFood Tue 12-Mar-19 18:37:20

Hmm I'm now wondering if I was rude

Unless you followed up with “great you’ll be able to make the wedding” not rude at all.

As people have said I’m probably overthinking this. Don’t worry I’ll bet you’ve not come across as rude.

SarahH12 Tue 12-Mar-19 18:40:52

I think you're overthinking it. If you would go if she hadn't made that comment I think you should still go. If you don't want to or can't go then just decline 🤷‍♀️

ThereWillBeAdequateFood Tue 12-Mar-19 18:41:06

So do you not want to go then

Not really. Sort out childcare. Thankfully no hotel needed but cab would be £50. Plus it’s smack bang in the middle of August so I’d have to plan trips away around it.

As you’ve probably guessed she’s more of an acquaintance.

Butterflycookie Tue 12-Mar-19 18:48:02

When you say evening invite, does that include the reception/dinner? I wouldn’t be going if I wasn’t served dinner blush

eggsandwich Tue 12-Mar-19 18:50:48

Tell her you’ve had another wedding invitation for the same day as her’s and its for all day say you will sadly have to decline her’s.

BiscuitDrama Tue 12-Mar-19 18:54:40

To everyone saying ‘don’t go if you don’t want to,’ how? She can’t say she’s busy now.

Orangecake123 Tue 12-Mar-19 18:54:40

It doesn't sound cheeky to me if she's a friend or a close family member.

If you don't want to go go, make an excuse up.

brizzlemint Tue 12-Mar-19 18:54:58

It's irritating yes. Not that I get invited to any weddings but I wouldn't keep a date clear until I got an invitation except for people like siblings.

Mummyoflittledragon Tue 12-Mar-19 18:59:40

She just sounds a little over enthusiastic and maybe a bit insecure rather than rude tbh. No need to over think it.

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