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to not tell him when my son's X-ray is?

(13 Posts)
mimiBcool Tue 12-Mar-19 17:23:29

My son has to have a series of X-rays soon. It's unlikely to show anything and a follow up for a previous resolved complication. It's precautionary.

My ex was emotionally abusive towards me. Women's aid and my solicitor have told me not to facilitate any further contact until we've been through court.

He wants to be at our son's X-ray appointment. Our son is only little and doesn't need him to be there (he's under 6 months old). He stresses me out and I feel sick being in the same room as him.

WIBU to just not tell him when it is? The split it quite raw and he's continuing to be rude, sarcastic and aggressive via text towards me.

I'm scared he will phone the hospital and find out anyway. I don't know what to do...

mimiBcool Tue 12-Mar-19 17:48:38

Anyone? Not sure what to do...

SilverGiraffe7 Tue 12-Mar-19 17:53:33

I wouldn't tell him. If he turns up, I don't know if you're able to do anything about that as he has parental responsibility, but I certainly would reply to any messages asking to know. Cut off contact as you have been advised. Hope all goes well for your DS.

SilverGiraffe7 Tue 12-Mar-19 17:54:08

Wouldn't reply to messages!

10IAR Tue 12-Mar-19 17:55:40

I wouldn't tell him. It benefits your son most to have you calm and focused on him, not worrying about his dick of a dad making a point.

I hope all goes well for you and your DS at the x-ray.

MongerTruffle Tue 12-Mar-19 17:56:55

I'm scared he will phone the hospital and find out anyway.

A hospital wouldn't give out that information to a stranger who called them.

Divgirl2 Tue 12-Mar-19 18:02:23

If you call the hospital and ask to have a password put on his account they can usually do this. I've had to do it before (long story).

I wouldn't tell him when the appointments are. It's an x-ray, not a trip to the zoo.

mimiBcool Tue 12-Mar-19 18:02:36

@MongerTruffle he's his dad though. Wouldn't they give his dad the appointment date?

mimiBcool Tue 12-Mar-19 18:03:33

I didn't think he had a right to be there. I thought he just had a right to know about the results etc?

AFOLNerd Tue 12-Mar-19 18:08:26

Don’t tell him when the appointment is.
My dd is 12 and as no contact with her dad due to emotional abuse. She has a major appointment in a few weeks with a genetic specialist. Ex knows it’s happening at some point this month but her doesn’t know which hospital or the date. I will inform him of the outcome after the appointment. As is will just stress her out if he shows up.

PurplePenguins Tue 12-Mar-19 18:37:49

Personally, I would follow the advice given by women's aid etc. He doesn't need to know when it is. Having been there and got the t-shirt, I wouldn't tell him for your own sanity. I would also contact the hospital and ask them not to give out appointments over the phone as he will be able to pass the security questions, DOB, address etc. Xxx

RUOKHUN Tue 12-Mar-19 18:41:44

Definitely tell the hospital that you’ve had advice from women’s aid about contact and ask if safeguarding measure can be put in place whilst you’re having an appointment.

You will have to give them details though because he has parental responsibility and technically really, they can’t stop him. (Short of you lying to them that he doesn’t have parental responsibility).

mimiBcool Tue 12-Mar-19 20:43:53

There's absolutely no point in him being there. There is so much animosity between us. I am scared of him. Our son is always upset after we see him it's like he's got a sixth sense and knows. It's not beneficial to our son at all.

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