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To be so affected by this?

(22 Posts)
indigo22 Tue 12-Mar-19 17:17:02

I was walking in an unfamiliar area two days ago and was using my phone for Google Maps. I walked past a park where there were a group of people around same age as me (22), possibly a bit younger.

I heard them laughing and say ‘yeah go on’ and at that moment I knew something would go wrong but I carried on walking because I wasn’t sure what else to do. Before I knew it a guy on a bike cycled past me and snatched my phone out of my hand and rode off with it. I was really scared at this point especially because I was in this area I hadn’t been to before. There was another guy behind me when all this happened so not much I could have done to stop it.

I keep having flashbacks to it and keep thinking how silly I was walking about an unfamiliar place with my phone out. I also keep feeling really guilty about how I could have put myself in real danger if I hadn’t been lucky enough to be helped by a man passing in a car.

I generally just feel shaken up and have spoken to my partner about this. He isn’t really saying much about it today, think he wants to distract me away from it. When I spoke to my friends some understood but others admitted they didn't know why I was so shaken up from it and to ‘chin up’.

Is it normal to feel this bad about something like this two days afterwards? As I am starting to think maybe I am overreacting quite a lot. Thanks

ScreamingValenta Tue 12-Mar-19 17:19:20

I would be very shaken by this indeed. YANBU. flowers

10IAR Tue 12-Mar-19 17:20:23

God no you're not overreacting, you've had a horrible experience.

It's not your fault, you should be able to walk where you want when you want. The only fault lies with the fuckers who take what isn't theirs!

Take the time you need to process it, and if you need to speak to someone about it, do.

flowers

NearlyTheEasterHolidayYey Tue 12-Mar-19 17:23:19

Yes it's normal to feel bad, and to feel shaken. Don't worry about what other people think, they weren't there. I can tell you now, I'd have been scared and would still be thinking about it. Was it day time or night time?

You did NOTHING wrong at all. Don't beat yourself up. The idiots that did this to you are in the wrong. We know that post trauma symptoms are lessened, or don't occur, if the victim has a chance to talk through what happened after the event, so keep talking, preferrably to someone sympathetic who will listen. If no one wants to listen, write it all out, from start to finish, then put the paper away somewhere safe, where you can revisit it when you choose to.

It's still all raw, but you'll feel better soon.

flowers

MeltedCheese82 Tue 12-Mar-19 17:28:12

PTSD, don't be hard on yourself - you are not to blame. It will take a few days for you to settlem but you will.

Be kind to yourself and grateful nothing worse happened.

Ohyesiam Tue 12-Mar-19 17:28:35

It’s a violation. People saw you were in a vulnerable position and they exploited it. It’s really really nasty, of course it’s ok to feel shaken.

I think it’s hard when you are young, you often haVe a big group of people who think of his friends without necessarily having that much in common with them other than circumstances, or much of a heart connection.
Some of your friends sound mature enough to take your feelings on board, but the others, you don’t have to justify yourself to them.

Let people who you trust know if you want to talk about it, really stand by yourself here, have your own back. In my experience it takes longer to get over stuff if you try and ignore your feelings. Treat yourself as you would a good friend, with patience and kindness.

Hope you’re feeling less shakey soon flowers

BlackPrism Tue 12-Mar-19 17:28:42

We all do it with google maps don't be too angry at yourself, the little thriving bastards are in the wrong. Next time, wear headphones and listen to the instructions instead.
You're in shock, give yourself some time as we're all affected by things differently.

SeeYouLaterUserData Tue 12-Mar-19 17:28:57

Yanbu flowers not one little bit. Hope you feel a little more at ease soon.

indigo22 Tue 12-Mar-19 18:42:48

Thanks everyone that's made me feel better and more realistic about how I'm feeling. Not really about the phone itself but just the violation of it all like you say x

ThroughThickAndThin01 Tue 12-Mar-19 18:44:26

You’re not over reacting, that sounds really distressing. Hope you feel less wobbly soon.

Kittykat93 Tue 12-Mar-19 18:51:50

That's horrible, no wonder you're shaken up.

iklboo Tue 12-Mar-19 18:55:41

May the little bastards get infected piles and scabies under their foreskins. YANBU to be shaken and upset. Did you go to the police? Victim Support might help.

Sparklesocks Tue 12-Mar-19 18:56:57

It’s a horrible thing to happen and it’s perfectly normal to be upset about it. But don’t be ashamed, it could happen to everyone. And some people don’t really know what to say, which is why your friends might be a bit off.

Cyw2018 Tue 12-Mar-19 19:01:14

It's not PTSD!! It's a normal response to a horrible situation.

Generally there is not much point stressing over the fact that a nasty situation has upset you for a good 4 to 6 weeks. Just go with it, cry if you need to and reassess how you feel in a month. I'm sure you will be much more relaxed about it all by then.

WeeDangerousSpike Tue 12-Mar-19 19:06:05

Yanbu.
I was in a supermarket and had too much shopping for the basket, so was struggling to carry it all. I put it down to reorganise and somehow either left (or didn't notice someone take) my handbag.

After about 10mins from noticing it gone I saw a woman hand it in. I picked it up and all the cash was gone.

I was really shaken for a few days and that was a 'passive' theft. I can't use the bag any more.

indigo22 Tue 12-Mar-19 19:25:35

Thank you, I feel a lot more reassured now. It was just before 5pm so still daylight and the guy on bike had a scarf covering half of his face so I think that freaked me out a bit. Yes I went to the police and they were very good about it all. I think what's making me frustrated is how calmly he took the phone off me as if it was a normal thing to do. Police told me I shouldn't have been walking in the area alone but I didn't know it at all and like you say above, didn't think it was unreasonable to walk during daytime!

MereDintofPandiculation Tue 12-Mar-19 19:35:16

Many years ago we had a sneak thief enter the kitchen and steal some stuff. I found I couldn't go out alone after that, I felt he'd be watching me. So no, you're not over-reacting.

And the police are out of order saying you shouldn't be alone in the area in daylight, unless they are seriously saying they'd give the same advice to a man, and they're admitting that the area is completely no-go.

HogMother Tue 12-Mar-19 19:36:45

It’s very recent, and the mind/brain takes a little longer than this to process trauma/shock etc. I’m sure things will calm down soon enough, but it will have been a massive shock for you. I’m sorry people don’t understand

Wide0penSpace Tue 12-Mar-19 19:37:44

Hi indigo- you’re not overacting, it’s a very normal response to a horrible thing that’s happened to you. Replaying it in your head is helping you to process it and will keep you safer in similar situations. It’s interesting how many people have an inkling before things like this happen - we really should trust our gut feelings.

It’s not PTSD as a PP suggested- that’s a serious mental health condition as the result of trauma. You will feel better soon.

indigo22 Tue 12-Mar-19 19:38:23

Sorry to hear about all your experiences too flowers

Grace212 Tue 12-Mar-19 19:44:50

OP " Police told me I shouldn't have been walking in the area alone"

??!! are we supposed to have chaperones at all times?

I would be shaken up too. sorry this happened to you. flowers

WeeBean Tue 12-Mar-19 20:02:12

Police are really out of order saying you shouldn't have been walking alone, victim blaming much?

You have every right to feel safe walking around in broad daylight and is disgusting that people don't feel safe because of wee scrotes like the ones you came across.

You're bound to be shaken up over this. Keep talking about it and don't hold it in, there may be victim support or someone who can help?

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