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Grandma's Murder Clown

(80 Posts)
HeyNannyNanny Tue 12-Mar-19 16:10:07

More of a WWYD than AIBU...

My fantastic Grandmother knitted me this toy, around 10 years ago.
She was a very skilled knitter and it is extremely well made and clearly an enormous amount of time, love and skill went into making it.

My Grandmother has since passed away.

I loved her very very much and have several treasures that she made that I keep on display to remember her by.

"Chucky", sadly, lives in an airtight box in the loft, in case he decides to kill us in our sleep.

It seems offensive and a waste of such talent to keep him hidden away, but, frankly, he's terrifying.

I'd also feel bad giving him away, as he was made especially for me and customised to me etc and, like I say, Grandma dedicated a lot of time in him.

WWYD about the scary sentimental clown living in the attic?

HeyNannyNanny Tue 12-Mar-19 16:11:47

If it helps, he's about the size of a toddler.

SweetieJar Tue 12-Mar-19 16:12:13

I normally hate clown dolls but that has to be about the least scary clown I've ever seen-knife aside-.

TheLightSideOfTheMoon Tue 12-Mar-19 16:12:40

Gah! Been there.

I had to turn down a family heirloom porcelain doll. It was clearly possessed.

Keep him in the loft. He's happy up there with the bats and spiders.

HeyNannyNanny Tue 12-Mar-19 16:12:46

(for clarity, Grandma didn't knit the knife, that's my boyfriend's staging)

HeyNannyNanny Tue 12-Mar-19 16:13:19

@SweetieJar That's how he lures you in...makes you think he isn't scary.

ALargeGinPlease Tue 12-Mar-19 16:14:00

Have you got a (locked) out house you could keep it in?

cornflakes5 Tue 12-Mar-19 16:14:16

Oh OP I think he's sweet. Possessed...by a fairy, maybe!

What is that on his hat? And is he carrying little buckets?

ALargeGinPlease Tue 12-Mar-19 16:15:03

Also what's in the bucket it's holding, is it the head and hat of something else?

SaucyJack Tue 12-Mar-19 16:15:08

Is that Lucifer’s claw on top of his head?

KismetJayn Tue 12-Mar-19 16:18:28

@TheLightSide if the possessed doll is still available, I freaking love them. Looove them. My collection have just been moved back into my bedroom as STBX has gone into the spare.

Your grandma wouldn't want you keeping something that upsets you. eBay him, someone else will love him.

EcclesThePeacock Tue 12-Mar-19 16:21:01

Keep him in case you need to scare off a spate of cold callers etc.

Clawdy Tue 12-Mar-19 16:22:05

Aw, he looks sweet, not scary at all.

WarpedGalaxy Tue 12-Mar-19 16:22:20

Well, it doesn't matter what you do really, OP. When he's ready, no amount of locked chests and loft hatches will stop him form finding and murdering you; if you sell or give him away he'll murder his new owners then come back for you; if you burn the house down with him in it, he'll rise from the ashes OR his spirit will possess another animate object like your child's favourite teddy and he'll find you and murder you; if you move away and leave him behind he'll find you and murder you.

Bottom line: you're doomed anyway so, you know, just relax and enjoy life to the full while you still can.

TheQueef Tue 12-Mar-19 16:22:41

Leave that fucker in view of a window, you'll never be burgled.

Genderwitched Tue 12-Mar-19 16:24:20

Charity shop, don't think twice.

Your memories of your Grandma are the precious things, not that, it's hideous.

TheLightSideOfTheMoon Tue 12-Mar-19 16:24:39

Possessed doll went to aution and some weirdo bought it for about 7K.

This was after I declined, 11 of my female cousins declined, then the wives/girlfriends of my male cousins also declined and my mum for some reason (maybe she watched The Boy?) didn't want to keep it.

I feel sorry for her. Whenever I see a horror movie ad I go into meercat mode expecting to see her in it.

If shit scary dolls are your thing you need to go to the Isle Of Wight Doll And Toy museum. I'm no wimp. I watch scary films, I go through the Chamber Of Horrors, but after walking through that museum I was white and visably shaking.

EcclesThePeacock Tue 12-Mar-19 16:29:54

* Charity shop, don't think twice.*

What, for some cause the OP particularly detests?confused

HeyNannyNanny Tue 12-Mar-19 16:34:18

Its an icecream on his hat and he is holding paint buckets and a paintbrush.
I like icecream and art.

BananasAreTheSourceOfEvil Tue 12-Mar-19 16:35:34

Keep him to use if your boyfriend annoys you.

Puts his shoes on the sofa? Gets Grandmas Murder Clown in his bed.

Finishesthe milk then puts the empty carton back in the fridge? Hide grandmas murder clown in his sock drawer for him to suddenly find.

Channel the evil for your own use.

FooFighter99 Tue 12-Mar-19 16:36:43

I had one of these growing up!! Given to me by my Gran (though she didnt make it)

No idea where it ended up... probably in the same place as my creepy porcelain dolls

HeyNannyNanny Tue 12-Mar-19 16:37:02

@BananasAreTheSourceOfEvil yes. This is the kind of advice I need in my life!

HeyNannyNanny Tue 12-Mar-19 16:39:03

I've always been a fan of bad taste bathrooms, perhaps we can keep him in the loft until we have a bigger house and then he could be liberated to the downstairs loo? Suspended over the door or something

TwoleftUggs Tue 12-Mar-19 16:40:53

Haha my grandma also knitted these clowns for me and my cousins. We’ve got the whole collection between us, I wonder what evil things those clowns could get up to if we actually put the family all together.

clairethewitch70 Tue 12-Mar-19 16:43:55

For anyone interested in making one, it is from a pattern book by Jean Greenhowe grin

Grace212 Tue 12-Mar-19 16:44:07

I think he's brilliant! I'd leave him on display. Love pp suggestion of putting him in a window.

RedHatsDoNotSuitMe Tue 12-Mar-19 16:45:31

Do you not have children yet? Keep it to scare them into submission.

NameChanger22 Tue 12-Mar-19 16:46:50

Straight to car boot sale. That's where all clowns should go.

VioletBlu Tue 12-Mar-19 16:48:11

Take a picture of him, then charity shop him. Some DCs love clowns, maybe he would bring a lot of pleasure to another child, wouldn't that be a nice way of your DGM's legacy of craft going on? Think of it that way smile

PinkSparklyPussyCat Tue 12-Mar-19 16:49:01

He's not scary at all! I don't like clowns but he's cute!

Joebloggswazere Tue 12-Mar-19 16:49:53

You keep the scary clown doll in the loft???? Haven’t you ever seen a horror movie?? FFS OP, one day an inquisitive nosy little fucker child is going to go up there and set that thing free! Burn it, burn it now. It’s the only way (sorry OPs nanna)

Mummyoflittledragon Tue 12-Mar-19 16:50:57

He’s cute. Maybe you’ll have children one day. Keep him. In the meantime, hang him at a window at the front of the house on a noose wink.

BettyDuMonde Tue 12-Mar-19 16:52:37

We’ve got a couple of these (ours are a masked bear that looks like a sex pest and a demon doll with orange eyes from late DMIL and late DM respectively)

We just get them out occasionally to freak our kids out.
See also: the threadbare taxidermied stoat I fished out of a skip.

mimibunz Tue 12-Mar-19 16:52:50

Lol at the knife!

SobaYakitori Tue 12-Mar-19 16:54:15

Oh OP, I feel your pain. I've got 2 of the fuckers from MIL.

purpleelk Tue 12-Mar-19 16:54:38

How would your grandmother feel if she knew how much you hated it and that you kept it locked up?

Clearly you can see that many of us don’t find him scary at all, so wouldn’t the nicest and kindest solution be for you to find someone who actually wants him? Your grandmother’s hard work would finally be admired, appreciated and enjoyed.

Footle Tue 12-Mar-19 16:54:59

It's only 8 months till the Fifth of November.

WorraLiberty Tue 12-Mar-19 16:55:27

I've never got my head around this 'hating clowns' thing. I know it's fashionable, but clowns to me have always been quite charming members of the circus.

Of course there are 'scary' clowns in films, but that's just a stuffed toy.

Keep it in the loft and pass it on to your children if/when you have some.

HebeMumsnet (MNHQ) Tue 12-Mar-19 17:00:00

Oh we had a similarly scary doll - also toddler sized - with a much closer resemblance to Chucky. We simply called it Chucky. DD, 2, misheard and thought its name was Jackie.

I was all for taking Jackie to the tip until DH pointed out that he'd several times seen it lying face down in the middle of the lawn and rushed out to give it CPR before realising with enormous relief that it wasn't one of the DCs, and that chucking it in the municipal tip might spark a murder hunt when they came to empty the containers.

We sent it to a charity shop in the end (under cover of darkness). I hope Jackie is living very happily now with someone who appreciates her. Hopefully far away from here. <shudders>

So yes, my vote is to charity shop it (before it crawls down inside your cavity walls and one day bursts through into your bedroom and eats you).

But lovely knitting. Well done and RIP your Grandma. flowers

dragoning Tue 12-Mar-19 17:02:43

Could you detach and keep the ice cream and buckets as mementoes? Maybe someone good at knitting could amputate them and reknit the clown together ready for donation? I think he's quite sweet!

Grumpyoldblonde Tue 12-Mar-19 17:06:14

That’s a snowman in fancy dress not a clown. He’s cute and I’m no fan of clowns. Keep him with the Christmas decorations and put him out in December with a bit of tinsel.

HeyNannyNanny Tue 12-Mar-19 17:08:52

I would love for it to go to someone who would appreciate it but I worry they'll just throw it away.
I quite like the idea of taking a little keepsake from it.

Peachy85 Tue 12-Mar-19 17:09:53

I thought he was a snowman grin

SheeshazAZ09 Tue 12-Mar-19 17:13:10

(Almost) what WarpedGalaxy said. I wouldn't assume that locking him in the attic will protect you but I would give him to a charity shop on the grounds that his new owners (who clearly deserve all that's coming to them) will have to deal with his homicidal tendencies. On balance I think he is unlikely to come back for you; he will have too many tempting distractions like murdering his new family and their friends.

TheKnackeredChef Tue 12-Mar-19 17:13:22

I'll just leave this here:

https://youtu.be/sgfklKnOg4w

labazsisgoingmad Tue 12-Mar-19 17:15:50

oh the jean greenhowe character clowns so much work goes into them not scarey at all one night i was knitting the clown and ex said to me what are you knitting? oh a string of sausages was my reply! sure he thought i was mad

hazell42 Tue 12-Mar-19 17:19:31

God, my grandmother knitted a whole series of these. She never liked me much. You've got me wondering now. What would have happened if I had put it on my bedside table like I told her I would, instead of throwing it in the nearest bin, like i actually did.
I didnt like her much either but always felt a bit guilty about that.
Not anymore

Magenta82 Tue 12-Mar-19 17:20:56

Shit! I wasn't expecting a photo!
Give a girl some warning!

flitwit99 Tue 12-Mar-19 17:21:59

He's lovely.

I knit and sew for other people. I love making the thing with them in mind. That's what gives me pleasure. What that person does with the thing once I've given it to them is entirely up to them.

Your grandma would have loved making that for you, she would have loved seeing your face when you opened it, you would have loved seeing it for the first time and knowing your grandma made it for you.

You've both had happiness from it. You can pass it on now.

(Unless you might have kids. Then you might like having something your grandma made to give them)

Picklypickles Tue 12-Mar-19 17:25:26

He's adorable, look at his happy little smile!! I'm not usually a fan of clowns I must say but wouldn't have a problem with this happy little guy at all. Maybe confiscate the knife though!!

HeritageCarrot Tue 12-Mar-19 17:28:45

I think if it wasn’t huge it wouldn’t be so sinister looking. But the size of a toddler - that sounds fearsome. I’m with the charity shop donation. He’s definitely plotting something and you don’t want to be around when he’s ready to put whatever it is into action.

Thesearmsofmine Tue 12-Mar-19 17:33:35

When I was small one of my aunts gave us a porcelain clown (like those horrible dolls), I hated it and still hate clowns but your one is quite sweet looking! The same aunt is still terrible at presents.

FlippinNora1 Tue 12-Mar-19 17:42:01

That’s nothing compared to the sinister china clown collection my MIL has promised to leave us. Their beady eyes follow you everywhere and you can feel their evil presence from every room. There are 5 of them and I hate the smallest one the most.

I’d take your nice knitted one over those five freaky bastards any time envy

She also has a crazy doll collection she is threatening on leaving to my poor dd. I’ve suggested they are far too “nice” for a little girl and that SIL will appreciate them more gringringrin

HeyNannyNanny Wed 13-Mar-19 19:10:40

I think if it wasn’t huge it wouldn’t be so sinister looking

Oh it's big. I reckon it could take me if I was caught off guard

HeritageCarrot Wed 13-Mar-19 19:21:06

HeyNanny toddlers are bigger than they used to be too I reckon. That clown has to go. Any moment of vulnerability could well be the moment he makes his first strike.

Hughes12345 Wed 13-Mar-19 19:26:55

Yeh he’s definitely going to kill you all! Keep it under lock and key.

Reminds me of my ‘dolly death’. My out of touch auntie bought me a doll for my 13th birthday. It was utterly terrifying. It used to move every time I closed my eyes (ok that might have been my over active imagination). My mum found it one day, safely hidden in the airing cupboard wrapped in a pillow case and stuffed under a mountain of bedding and towels. She disposed of it for me when I told her it was plotting murder 😱

Jinxed2 Wed 13-Mar-19 19:28:27

Ahh my nan knit the whole range of these. I actually wish I had one 😓

Handsoffmysweets Wed 13-Mar-19 19:29:52

Never mind the clown, kismet sleeps in a room full of porcelain dolls. Someone call the authorities, that is some crazy shit right there.

HeritageCarrot Wed 13-Mar-19 19:40:51

Jinxed I know someone who might be able to make your dream come true 😀

GimmeBread Wed 13-Mar-19 20:06:38

I'd need to keep this in sight at all times so you know exactly where it is and what it's doing. Kind of like a spider in the house - NOT out of sight, out of mind!

Aceinthehole Wed 13-Mar-19 20:11:06

My Nana knitted these! They're horrendous aren't they?! Mine went off to live with a sentimental cousin who is actually mad

Minkies11 Wed 13-Mar-19 20:25:57

My late Nana knitted me a rabbit one like this when i was little but it was green with pink (!) button eyes. I loved it.
Then I watched Watership Down and couldn't look at it again. My mum 'recycled' it locally and it somehow ended up about 3 miles away (small village). I next saw it during a sleep over with my BF - awful sad
But she liked it smile

MitziK Wed 13-Mar-19 22:54:56

You think your knitted Murder Clown is scary?

When I was 20, I started dating a dim, but, oh, so fucking pretty lad who invited me to stay with him at his Nan and Granddad's 3 bedroom ex council house on an estate whilst they were away (with their permission).

We went in at about midnight after going to the pub. The house was in darkness, but downstairs looked alright, in that Old People Who Love Velvet, Shagpile Carpet and Textured Wallpaper way.

We went up the narrow stairs, minding the stairlift, all in darkness. He said 'Nan's made the spare room up for us' and I followed him into the darkened room. I sat on the ten foot high, two mattressed bed that had been raised specially for Old People and, just as my eyes were becoming accustomed to the darkness of inch thick velvet and thought 'Oh, there are a lot of wardrobes or bookcases', he flicked the switch for the chandelier fitted with what felt like a ten thousand Watt bulb in each branch.

Without a word of a lie, the entire room was lined with double width shelving. On every shelf, put onto custom built raised bits for the rear half to make a double row, there was at least twenty porcelain dolls per shelf, all on stands. The room was floor to ceiling porcelain dolls, staring at me with a thousand eyes, darker and deader than a Great White in their ocean of plush dusky pink textured shagpile, velvet curtains, bedlinen, headboard, wallpaper and woodwork.

He noticed my surprise horror and suggested we looked in another bedroom. A tiny boxroom, just big enough for normal people to have a single bed. This one was mauve. And filled with display cabinets.

Of China Fucking Clowns. Teeny ones that would crawl up your nose and eat your brain, medium sized ones that would eat the cat, three foot high ones that would stab you. And a fucking four foot high Clown Head in the centre of the room at face height. Just the head.

The entire upstairs was like I'd fallen inside Stephen King's head.

I was too scared to go into the bathroom in case there was a scary fisherman with glowing eyes, a yellow Sou'wester and a hook, waiting to disembowel me for the sins of my grandfathers. Turned out that there was only a risk of drowning in the sea blue textured shagpile underneath the sea green textured pedestal mat, seat cover and bath mat. And a painting of a fucking fisherman clown on the back of the door for you to look at whilst you took a piss. Which, as it turned out when I had to go in there, carefully leaving the light off, had details picked out in cunting glow in the dark paint.

I should have suspected something by the way the front garden full of gnomes, gently lid by solar lighting sticks had been untouched by the local yobs. But nothing had prepared me for that.

It traumatised me so much that, when I went home with somebody I had started dating a few years later and spotted a replica Star Trek: The Next Generation costume hanging behind his bedroom door, that seemed almost normal in comparison. although I called a taxi to go home when that one suggested he put it on if I wanted.

Still not as scary as Nan Peel's Shagpile House of the Ten Thousand Evil Eyes.

LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD Wed 13-Mar-19 22:57:29

I think he looks more like a killer snowman

FascinatingCarrot Wed 13-Mar-19 23:00:02

Size of a toddler.
Cheers for the nightmares tonight op ffs

percheron67 Wed 13-Mar-19 23:02:22

Is that you Dexter?

Drogosnextwife Wed 13-Mar-19 23:04:16

Well one of our family members has an actual chucky doll complete with knife. My ds 3 at the time was obsessed with it, loved playing with the bloody thing. It was the same size as him.

WTFIsAGleepglorp Wed 13-Mar-19 23:17:30

@MitziK, just logging in to say I've just had to wipe saliva off the laptop after reading your post and spluttering with laughter.

To the OP, Murder Clown is kinda cute looking, but it clearly isn't 'sparking joy' in your heart there.

Remember your Gran with a framed photo on a wall somewhere or keep a gift she gave you that you do like.

Murder Clown can go to a charity shop or car boot sale.

MitziK Wed 13-Mar-19 23:41:14

Ah, @WTFIsAGleepglorp, there's a further chapter in my sorry tale.

Things still went OK with the lad because, as long as I didn't try and have an intelligent conversation with him beforehand, the sex was amazing and I got to know his family pretty well.

Sadly, his Nan passed away a few months later, just before my 21st birthday. On the day, his Mum laid on a special tea for me (I lived alone in my flat and didn't have any family to speak of, so I thought that was really kind of her). She put a lot of effort into baking a cake, decorating it, made little sandwiches and bought some Lambrusco to show how special she thought the day was.

She liked to light her rooms with lots of 'Tiffany Style' lamps - you know, the kind that are in Mutant Teddy Bear shapes and the like. In the half light of these, I was handed a carefully wrapped present, covered in foil wrap and plastic pink bows and shit by his mother.

As I'm working my way through the layers of foil and plastic curled ribbon, his mother beamed and said 'Nan wanted to get you something really special, so we went shopping and found you the perfect present just before she went into hospital'. My heart simultaneously sunk and flipped into the back of my throat.

I peeled the last layer back and lifted the lid.

They'd picked a porcelain doll with dark red hair, big green glass eyes, freckles and a psychotic, slightly pointed, toothy smile behind rosebud pink lips

'See, isn't she wonderful? We found one that looks Just Like You'.

Kokeshi123 Wed 13-Mar-19 23:58:39

I can't believe nobody has suggested unravelling him and turning the wool into something else!

HarrietSchulenberg Thu 14-Mar-19 00:38:21

Oh god no! Ds2 (now 16) has Mr Gardener that is definitely related to your woolly horrorshow. Everyone apart from ds2 calls it The Knitted Horror and I often threaten to unravel it and reknit it into a scarf, complete with face and bloody watering can.

GMIL gave one to ds1 when he was a baby, 18 years agi. She won it at bingo but ds1 was terrified of it. After a couple of years of it being stuffed under his bed I quietly got rid of it via charity shop. The next weekend we went to visit in-laws and were presented with Mr bloody Gardener, another bingo win. I gave up when ds2 clasped him to his toddler-sized bosom and he's loved him ever since.

I fucking hate Mr Gardener and all his knitted brothers.

Tinkerbell456 Thu 14-Mar-19 01:13:43

Why is your boyfriend plotting with murder clown to kill you? He is providing the weapon to that evil wooden fiend. Be afraid. Very afraid, muahahahaha!

WTFIsAGleepglorp Thu 14-Mar-19 01:50:14

'See, isn't she wonderful? We found one that looksJust Like You'.

@MitziK! What did you do??

Zfactorstar Thu 14-Mar-19 03:01:07

Oh, that things going to kill you, no question. Hope your will is up to date.

Moonbea Thu 14-Mar-19 06:03:32

@TheLightSideOfTheMoon

Going to the Isle of Wight in September so just googled the museum and nearly pooped myself over the doll that randomly pops up on the website when it first loads.

Maybe a sign I should avoid haha

rosablue Thu 14-Mar-19 06:20:53

Put him on eBay or Etsy with a big reserve price (£100? £200? You decide what would be a decent amount), heavily pushing the unique details, skilled craftsmanship and so on...

If it doesn’t sell - nothing lost. You’re still in the same position as now. If it does you have a significant sum of money to buy something lovely with which to remember your gran with that will make you smile rather than shudder!

You still have other knitted things to remember her by

floribunda18 Thu 14-Mar-19 06:32:13

I had to go and shake hands with an actual clown at the circus when I was 5 or 6. I was absolutely terrified. I certainly hadn't seen any horror films then.

Also, murderous clowns have been around for a long time.

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pagliacci

Charity shop.

MyGastIsFlabbered Thu 14-Mar-19 06:32:53

Just wanted to add that I work in a charity shop and we're not allowed to sell handmade goods because they don't have the CE(?) safety mark. So if you did donate him there's every chance he'd end up in the bin.

parrotonmyshoulder Thu 14-Mar-19 06:47:30

I have one of these from DH’s granny. He’s gone on the toy stall at my school Christmas fayre for three years in a row...and back to my loft afterwards. Nobody wants him!

Sewrainbow Thu 14-Mar-19 06:47:38

MitziK brilliant story!

My mum gave my dad one of these clowns she bought at a craft fair, there was a whole range, my dad's was Godfrey Gadabout, he had a camera...

I like the idea of taking off say the Ice cream or the paint pot as mementoes, or just giving whole thing to charity, as you can see some people like them - remove the knife though!

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