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To have seriously considered pushing DH in the river?

(41 Posts)
downcasteyes Tue 12-Mar-19 13:50:00

I know IADNBU.

I have a really heavy period.
I also have dry socket from a wisdom tooth extraction 10 days ago.
I haven't been sleeping well.
Eating is also painful, so I didn't have any tea yesterday, meaning that when I woke this morning, I'd been fasting for 20 hours.
(Ahem, well nearly fasting, apart from 3 glasses of wine I drank with friends after book group yesterday).

The alarm went off at 6 am this morning. DH leaps out of bed, full of the joys of spring, and announces that it is Time for A Run. We are doing Couch to 5k, currently on week 4. To add to my woes, I have somehow managed to develop shin splints, even though the amount of running you actually do on the first 4 weeks of this programme is minimal and should make this impossible.

I groan and moan a bit, but get my running clothes on, feeling slightly sick, a bit hungover and groggy. When I get outside, I realise that not only is there a gale blowing, but the rain is sheeting down, sideways.
I decide to go back inside. "No, don't be a wuss" says DH. "We have to do this!"

We start to run. Everything hurts, especially my tooth which is aching every time I breathe in. And I breathe in a LOT because I am super unfit.

A swishy haired, model-looking girl jogs past. I wonder for a second if I look a bit like her, then catch a glimpse of myself in a window, and am struck by the resemblance to a beefsteak tomato trying to escape the vegetable aisle.

We get down to the river and the rain is relentless. My breath feels like a saw is cutting through my lungs. "You are doing REALLY WELL!" says DH, who is not even panting.

At this moment, a car drives past through a puddle and I am soaked with muddy water.
"Doesn't it feel great?" he adds.

I am seized by an overpoweringly strong urge to push him into the river. It is only with difficulty that I restrain myself.

AIBU to think that being fat and unfit is actually preferable to a lifestyle where I have to do this on a regular basis? grin

Stayawayfromitsmouth Tue 12-Mar-19 13:51:41

Soo tempting! grin

Stayawayfromitsmouth Tue 12-Mar-19 13:52:17

Although he'd probably enjoy it.

MrsTerryPratchett Tue 12-Mar-19 13:53:14

I never run with DH. He wouldn't survive. I have a patio and very supportive friends. I run alone. It's safer for all.

BTW I've been doing it for three years now, from nothing, and I no longer look as like a sweaty tomato. Similar but not identical.

ohfourfoxache Tue 12-Mar-19 13:54:41

I wouldn’t have been able to resist

<Googles concrete mixers>

MeltingWax Tue 12-Mar-19 13:56:15

Oh God, I am going to be such a bore here. I have had dry socket. I know how bloody painful it is. And probably the worst things you can do for it is drink alcohol and undertake high-impact exercise (and drinking through a straw). Sorry, am going to bore off now.

Tiles Tue 12-Mar-19 13:58:41

I have one of those always happy go lucky DHs. Just shut up and let me be miserable alone in bed. I quite like my morning breath and sweaty feet as company sometimes.

Fromage Tue 12-Mar-19 13:59:35


it's weather like this that makes me feel all smug and happy in my fat duvet

you need:
strong painkillers
sleeping pills
an alibi

SofaSurfer20 Tue 12-Mar-19 13:59:39

Id have done it

MayFayner Tue 12-Mar-19 14:01:57

Missing the point of your post completely, but how old are your running shoes? It’s easy to get shin splints if your shoes are worn out, and they get worn out quicker than you’d think.

YANBU btw.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius Tue 12-Mar-19 14:02:15

I had dry socket, and went back to the dentist - he cleaned it out and put me on antibiotics, and that stopped the pain pretty much immediately (although the actual cleaning out process was nasty).

You would be very unreasonable to push him in the river, I'm afraid, @downcasteyes - the body would wash up, and the old Bill would be on your doorstep sharpish. Supportive friends, a spade and a patio, as @MrsTerryPratchett has, would be better.

IncrediblySadToo Tue 12-Mar-19 14:10:24

YWBVU to push him in the river.

It’s just not fair on the recovery guys!

Patio/friends/alibi all the way.

I’d have told him to fuck right off and pulled the duvet up.

...get that dry socket looked at x

steppemum Tue 12-Mar-19 14:10:41

wow, can't believe you went running with toothache, heavy period and in this weather.

It does get better, and even though you may never stop looking like that tomato, the satisfaction of sprinting the last 50 m to the finish in a 5 km rac eis absolutley worth it. (well, it was park run and not a race and I came almost last, in about 40 minutes compared to the fit annoying young men who sail in first in 17 minutes).
Funnily enough there are never any photos of me on the park run website! (photographer has given up and gone home, and fat tomatoes just don't look that great.)

Hope he made you breakfast and let you have the first shower

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy Tue 12-Mar-19 14:15:08

am struck by the resemblance to a beefsteak tomato trying to escape the vegetable aisle

Just near made me spit tea all over my keyboard.

Your self-restraint is admirable. And so is your persistence.

I hate sodding shin splints. I get them every time I attempt to start running again.

HumphreyCobblers Tue 12-Mar-19 14:18:59

Well done for going.

There is no bloody way on earth I would have done that run given the circumstances you describe.

Margot33 Tue 12-Mar-19 14:22:19

I've only ever gone jogging with my husband once. It was enraging. He kept running far ahead, back to me then jogged backwards at my pace making small talk! Well done you, for doing it.

HeyNannyNanny Tue 12-Mar-19 14:22:44

God you're good.

Seriously, well done on going out at all under any of those circumstances! I'm genuinely impressed. is still in bed is in a country 3 hours ahead of the UK and still in bed

TFBundy Tue 12-Mar-19 14:43:08

Dry socket is the absolute pits. I went dune-bashing with it and every time the 4x4 went over a bump I cried actual tears. I have no idea how you managed to run, never mind how you managed not to stab push DH into a river.

QuantumWeatherButterfly Tue 12-Mar-19 14:50:11

I can't run with DH either. I used to, pre-DD. I can't understand how I did it now. Oh wait - yes I can! I used to be fit! And now I'm not. And he can't help but keep saying positive encouraging things which he means genuinely and lovingly and supportively, but make me feel really quite violent.

So no, we don't run together anymore. I think he's relieved too. Can't think why...

Sarahjconnor Tue 12-Mar-19 14:50:49

He'd only have announced his intention to do a triathlon and started doing laps.

Mmmhmmm Tue 12-Mar-19 14:54:31

Dry sockets are Horrible, you have my deepest sympathies OP. I'm amazed you're working out too and outside, I won't do so much as a 30 minute workout DVD at home when I'm on my period. It's just such a miserable time.

MrsTerryPratchett Tue 12-Mar-19 14:55:47

And he can't help but keep saying positive encouraging things... make me feel really quite violent.

I cannot stand encouraging things. Makes me homicidal. My run group leader survives because she says things like, "no one died" and "whining doesn't make the hill smaller". She can live.

Tensixtysix Tue 12-Mar-19 14:58:54

You need to perfect the death glare from the comfort of your nice cozy bed.
Not having eaten for 20 hours would be enough for me to turn into Mrs Hulk!

billybagpuss Tue 12-Mar-19 15:00:19

Can he swim?

If answer to above question is yes why did you not do it?

Seriously though, do check your shoes and look after yourself for a couple of days. I'd prob have a couple of days off then repeat week 4.

Purplecatshopaholic Tue 12-Mar-19 15:05:24

I walk rather than run these days (lung condition), to work and back and with my dog. Believe me, if you work in HR (I do) I can do a Death Stare like you would not believe, lol, if someone is being a twat....

lmusic87 Tue 12-Mar-19 15:16:22

Wow, you were good for going, no way would I have!

FemalePersonator Tue 12-Mar-19 15:16:42

My sympathies, OP.

If you don't want to push your DH into a river, may I suggest an alternative? I have an annoying colleague.... grin

Tanith Tue 12-Mar-19 15:22:46

Don't go with your DH.

I had this when I (briefly) took up cycling. My DH was a keen cyclist, years of experience. He shot off ahead on a 25 mile ride. I did my best, blew up completely and was violently sick at the end.

Why must they be so bloody competitive??

Find yourself a friend or group at roughly the same stage to run with and let him show off to himself.

StormTreader Tue 12-Mar-19 15:44:13

Pushing him in the river sounds like excellent additional resistance training and he should congratulate you on going above and beyond for Health when he eventually resurfaces grin

downcasteyes Tue 12-Mar-19 15:45:27

Thanks for the (im)moral support ladies grin

To be fair to DH he did his best to make it look like he was running beside me - I was so slow he was practically walking really. I was just really not in the mood for it!

Dentists say that it's going to take 5 weeks for the dry socket to stop hurting! shock I did go back and have it packed once, but the dressing fell out in about 36 hours.

Shin splints -this isn't a problem I have had before. Trainers are relatively new. I think it might just be because I'm fat. sad

Witchend Tue 12-Mar-19 15:47:02

I think I'd love to enjoy running. It must be great to enjoy it, and it must be so rewarding.

But I don't. Do I don't do it.

oh4forkssake Tue 12-Mar-19 15:47:30

No court would convict you OP. And this nest of vipers would have set you up with a "Free the River One" fund.

thedisorganisedmum Tue 12-Mar-19 15:51:54

Your ran with your DH whilst having your periods!?!

<mind blown>

Use the man to massage your calves, and shins!

Hurts like hell, but feels soooooooo good at the same time. Also use a tennis ball to roll on shins, and foam roll on the calves.

PyongyangKipperbang Tue 12-Mar-19 16:08:22

May I suggest you make a large cardboard sign to hold up on such occasions so you dont even have to open your eyes when he jumps out of bed.

Two words only.


Bluetrews25 Tue 12-Mar-19 16:10:46

OP I salute you and award you a MN golden YANBU medal for outstanding services to the sister/brother/person/whateverhood of vipers who make up the MN brethren.
Your dedication is magnificent, as is your writing.
If you can do that run despite all the other factors you are truly A Cut Above.
(You might want to tell him to keep his trap zipped or he will be embracing duckweed like Sir Brian Bottomley. Check it out, great poem by AA Milne of Winnie the Pooh fame)
star Y star A star N star B star U star

youarenotkiddingme Tue 12-Mar-19 16:15:14

Yep you should have done whilst announcing

"Yep sooooo great I think we should add swimming" wink

VelociraptorRex Tue 12-Mar-19 16:29:28

I'd have pushed him in the river OP, but I'd have wrapped him in chicken wire and weighed him down with concrete first... I'm in awe that you did all that on your period without food, my DP wouldn't dare come near me grin

BigChocFrenzy Tue 12-Mar-19 21:02:23

downcasteyes With shin splints, you need to stop running until they are healed, usually just a few days

No kidding, you could eventually get tibia stress fractures if you don't

Munchkingoat Tue 12-Mar-19 21:18:12

As above, you absolutely HAVE to treat shin splints. I've been running for 25 years off and on, I'm still not sure I enjoy it 🤣

panticus Tue 12-Mar-19 21:23:44

I'm also being a bore but make sure you're regularly stretching your calves out too. That will help the splints

ButterflyBitch Tue 12-Mar-19 21:29:16

Just reading that made me want to push your dh in the river so fuck knows how you didn’t!

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