AIBU to ask for some 'mum' advice? Would you challenge this if I were your daughter?

[HeresMyBrightIdea]

Sorry... one of those times when not having a mum is pretty tough, and I don't think I could tell DP's mum.

To be concise - started bleeding after urinating three weeks ago. It's got worse, to the point where I am randomly flooding. On Saturday there was masses of blood. Last night there was so much that I went to OOH, where they did an internal examination and offered me a bed on a ward. I passed a series of big purple clots, and it settled. No blood at all yet today. No real other symptoms - peeing more often throughout the three weeks, I'd gained 4kg randomly at the start but lost them all on the Thursday.

Doctor last night told me she suspected a miscarriage with retained tissue, but did a pregnancy test which she said ruled that out. Doctor just now has done urine tests, I've got an appointment for bloods, and said she was fairly sure it was a miscarriage but that it would now be too late for a scan to see anything. She gave me some leaflets on early miscarriage.

I'm on the pill, this is at least 8 x worse than any period I have ever had. I am not due a period for 9 days. Although there's no blood yet, I have no idea what to do if it starts gushing again later... None.

Is there anything else I can ask for? Or do I just accept this? My best friend is insistent that a pregnancy test would still be positive and therefore it must be something more serious.

I know this isn't the nicest topic but I'd really appreciate some advice

[Happyspud]

Do the timings possibly match up for a pregnancy?

If I was pretty sure it wasn’t a miscarriage, I’d push for more help from the dr. But has the bleeding improved or stopped? Part of me might wait and see. Are you in pain?

[MamaLovesMango]

A pregnancy test would be positive if you were perhaps retaining products from the pregnancy but would be negative if the miscarriage was complete which is what it sounds like the doctor is suggesting. The bleeding Should also tail off and stop if the miscarriage is complete.

I take it you’re home now? If you start gushing and passing clots again you need to seek advice from the hospital and ask to be scanned. This would suggests there’s products left and you may need further management to make sure they’ve all gone. If you’re changing your pad every hour, you need to seek medical advice immediately.

It does sound like miscarriage. I’m sorry

[musicposy]

If you were my daughter and the bleeding had stopped I'd say wait and see, and I'd keep an eye on you. If the bleeding started like that again I'd want you down to the doctors pronto.

Otherwise, if it's bleeding but easing off and you feel ok in yourself, I'd watch and wait and go along with the blood tests.

[HumpHumpWhale]

I want to hug you.
After my miscarriages, I tested negative very quickly as there were no retained products. I wouldn't be super concerned in your position but agree with the others that if the bleeding started again, I'd go back in.

[peachescariad]

It could possibly have been a burst ovarian cyst (the weight gain).
Did you have an internal ultrasound scan? This can pick up scaring from a recent burst cyst, but I'm unsure as to how quickly the ovary would heal.
Can you remember if you experienced pain on a particular side?
Please don't stress too much, but I'd push for an internal scan just to eliminate your worries.

[TheShuttle]

OP, sorry for your loss. If I were your mother I would tell you to be more responsible for your health, especially sexual and reproductive health, which might go under the radar and have severe consequences, and you seem to be embarrassed about the topic.

If you don't have anyone you feel you can talk to about health matters, your GP should be your first port of call when something is really not right. That's what they're paid for.

Why on earth haven't you confided in your DP? Think about that.

Get to the doctor and take better care of yourself.

All the best.

[BlueMerchant]

You need to go back for a second opinion. I wouldn't be happy with this at all.

[Springwalk]

Oh lovely, I think you have had a miscarriage too. Word for word that was the same as my miscarriage early in the pregnancy. It is unlikely to show up in a test now. Did anyone mention about having a D&C? I didn't have one, and there was left over tissue and it became infected. So watch out for:

Temperature
Bloating
Pain

You absolutely must go straight to the doctor/hospital if any of these happen, and in addition if the bleeding starts again.

A chat with your GP is a good idea as to how you managed to get pregnant and maybe introduce another layer of contraception.

Why do you not feel you can talk to your dp? This must have been a frightening experience.

for you

[HeresMyBrightIdea]

Thank you all so, so much. I honestly really appreciate it.

I have told DP, he's been wonderful - it was his mum that I didn't feel I could tell. She's been excellent at being a 'mum' to me, someone I can talk to if I need to, but I think this would be pretty upsetting for her to hear. I probably should have said that I'm orphaned, and that's why I can't talk to my family.

No further bleeding yet, which is good, and I'll keep those symptoms in mind and go straight back to my GP/OOH if I get any.