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DM, next door neighbour and the bins....... AIBU

(71 Posts)
Whatdoesitmatteranyway Tue 12-Mar-19 09:55:43

Hi

Some of you will recognise me from previous posts about my DM.

BAsically I stay with her monday-thursday and will be until later this year. This arrangement works for me for work and her because she's disabled and had two major surgeries and is about to have another one. She's becoming less disabled with each surgery.

Her lovely neighbour bring her bin up to the road from the side of her house every Tuesday. he has done this for years. I get back later than him but if I get back before him, I bring his to the road. This doesnt happen often.

The problem is EVERY time he does it, he puts the bin right in my parking space. (diagram is attached).

I can't drive onto it from either side. I normally park blocking mum in but thats where he puts the bin. I don't want to block him in obviously.

So this means I have to pull up in the car, get out, move the bin, then park , move the bin next to his bin (which is where he puts it if there is a car aleady where I park), get back in the car and park up.

Its a minor irritant but its still annoying.,

I've asked DM to maybe have a quiet word and ask him nicely if he could not block my space. But she point blank refuses as she doesnt want to annoy him or seem ungrateful.

But I don't think it would be ungrateful would it?

Dontrainonmyparade Wed 13-Mar-19 13:38:35

I have a similar irritation every bin day - except the bin men do it. They always leave my bin in the middle of my drive, meaning I have to stop in the road, get out and move my bin before I can drive my car on to my drive. It’s never occurred to me to say anything to the binmen, even though it inconveniences and irritates me for a couple of minutes every week. They probably don’t give a second thought to where they leave the bin and won’t be doing it deliberately to annoy me. I think your mum’s Neighbour is unlikely to even realise it’s an issue for you, I’m with your mum on this, just put up with it once a week for a couple of minutes.

ShartGoblin Wed 13-Mar-19 13:33:11

If it were me I'd probably get him a gift to say thank you for everything he's done and "oh while I'm here, I don't suppose you could change where you put the bin / don't worry about moving it". If he's kind and helpful he won't mind you asking at all but it is definitely right to acknowledge his helpfulness at the same time.

Whatdoesitmatteranyway Wed 13-Mar-19 13:00:02

HI

ok, I get i'm unreasonable about this one. I havent said anything because since mum refuses to, she's be angry if I did.

I think the issue will diminish as the nights get lighter - the bins go out later in the summer and I'll normally be back to do them myself.

I think it was just I had to do it in the pissing rain and wind that wound me up. I was thinking you know I bloody stay here why can't you just move it to the side!

And she's scary when she's angry. LOL. Amazing how scary a 75 year old can be.

Most of the time we get on fine but occasionally we butt heads.

For the record, the soup one:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3512151-To-be-irrationally-angry-at-DM-for-eating-my-soup-I-want-this-to-be-light-hearted-but-I-fear-I-m-seething

TripTrapTripTrapOverTheBridge Tue 12-Mar-19 22:22:34

Can someone link the soup thread? I feel like I'm missing out grin

Youandwhosearmy Tue 12-Mar-19 20:06:08

Are you soup lady?

Chill grin

icanhearapindrop Tue 12-Mar-19 20:02:35

My NDN has decided to leave her bins on her drive, rather than on the grass to the front of it. She gets really P’d off when the bin men stick it back on her drive as it blocks her getting her car back on when she comes home. They don’t do it to anyone else as everyone else puts their bins on the grass. It makes me laugh, as she won’t change her ways! Annoyingly, she gets cross with me that I don’t move it for her either! I think everyone should just stick to doing their own bins. People always get flamed for trying to help.

youknowmedontyou Tue 12-Mar-19 19:34:31

You not had time to cone back OP? Moving bins?

Fridakahlofan Tue 12-Mar-19 19:14:44

In the time you took to draw the diagram you could have moved the bin out the way at least 100 times

HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend Tue 12-Mar-19 19:01:55

Accept or or advise him from now on that you’ll take care of the bins.

LEDadjacent Tue 12-Mar-19 18:37:21

Get over it. The bin men do this to me every week, it’s really not worth causing any upset.

CluedoAddict Tue 12-Mar-19 18:32:12

If you are trying to park on the pavement then you shouldn't be.

ivykaty44 Tue 12-Mar-19 18:18:52

Probably better to ask him to stop doing the bins, give him a present and do the bin yourself from now on. When you stop visiting your mother your mother can either do it herself or get assisted bib collection from council

anniehm Tue 12-Mar-19 18:14:18

Leave it! The bin men do this to me every week, it's annoying but not worth getting het up over

longwayoff Tue 12-Mar-19 18:11:09

Perhaps one of us should pop over and have a word with him? Or, maybe, you could do that yourself?

Looneytune253 Tue 12-Mar-19 16:18:12

Nooooo it’s such a minor thing I wouldn’t complain. It’s prob easier than having to bring the bin in yourself so just suck it up!!

WhatchaMaCalllit Tue 12-Mar-19 14:17:26

I have been pondering over this one since I posted earlier @Whatdoesitmatteranyway and I got to thinking that perhaps the neighbour might think that they are helping by 'reserving' you the place to park outside of your DM's house.

I know that parking around some areas where I live would be on a first come first served basis and some residents will position their wheelie bins in such a way to 'reserve' a parking space outside their houses. Could this be it, do you think?

diddl Tue 12-Mar-19 12:49:05

If he's a reasonable person, can't see the problem with talking to him tbh.

Does he even know when you're there & he's blocking you from getting in the drive?

I'd hate to think that my "helping" was putting someone else out & I could easily resolve it.

onlyk Tue 12-Mar-19 12:20:36

Yes it is ungrateful, also the DN is helping your mum not you. Be grateful she’s got a nice neighbor who’s happy to help her out.

Looking at your diagram rather than complain about your mums nice neighbors how about helping your mum and her DN by reporting the abandoned car ?

Easy to do on the Fixmystreet website.

Waveysnail Tue 12-Mar-19 11:53:25

Just get out and move bin. Not end of the world

TripTrapTripTrapOverTheBridge Tue 12-Mar-19 11:47:54

😂 Jesus wept. Leave it (and maybe get a life), its ridiculous.

youknowmedontyou Tue 12-Mar-19 11:43:22

GET A GRIP

Sparklesocks Tue 12-Mar-19 11:38:36

It’s such a small thing once a week, a bit irritating having to get out of your car but as PP have said in the big scheme of things it’s very minor. It’s really nice the neighbour helps out in that way as not all neighbours would. I wouldn’t risk saying anything in case he takes it the wrong way and stops helping. Feels like a pick your battles moment.

Girlzroolz Tue 12-Mar-19 11:37:07

Well, given you sometimes move his bin for him as well, isn’t that the perfect conversation starter for you?

You: ‘Hi Fred, just wanted to check, when I get the chance to move your bin in, where is the best place for me to wheel it? I know sometimes a small distance can make a big difference?!’

Fred: ‘oh just a tiny bit to the left of where you’ve been putting it, thanks’

You: ‘thanks again for all the times you bring mum’s bin in. You really are a godsend. She and I really appreciate it.’

Fred: ‘No problem, happy to help.’

You: ‘Actually, now that I think of it, would it be cheeky for me to ask you to wheel mum’s bin a bit further left? It makes it easier for me to park, so I can get in to her quicker. Is that ok? Thanks so much’.

Fred: ‘Sure’.

End of problem.

Hoppinggreen Tue 12-Mar-19 11:31:02

Are you the person who had a minor meltdown over soup ?
If so you really need to chill

Margot33 Tue 12-Mar-19 11:26:53

He will probably stop doing it and the bin men won't care where they put it. So it will probably block your mum's drive anyway!

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