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DM, next door neighbour and the bins....... AIBU

(71 Posts)
Whatdoesitmatteranyway Tue 12-Mar-19 09:55:43


Some of you will recognise me from previous posts about my DM.

BAsically I stay with her monday-thursday and will be until later this year. This arrangement works for me for work and her because she's disabled and had two major surgeries and is about to have another one. She's becoming less disabled with each surgery.

Her lovely neighbour bring her bin up to the road from the side of her house every Tuesday. he has done this for years. I get back later than him but if I get back before him, I bring his to the road. This doesnt happen often.

The problem is EVERY time he does it, he puts the bin right in my parking space. (diagram is attached).

I can't drive onto it from either side. I normally park blocking mum in but thats where he puts the bin. I don't want to block him in obviously.

So this means I have to pull up in the car, get out, move the bin, then park , move the bin next to his bin (which is where he puts it if there is a car aleady where I park), get back in the car and park up.

Its a minor irritant but its still annoying.,

I've asked DM to maybe have a quiet word and ask him nicely if he could not block my space. But she point blank refuses as she doesnt want to annoy him or seem ungrateful.

But I don't think it would be ungrateful would it?

Fontella Tue 12-Mar-19 11:03:18

Bloody hell!

Lovely neighbour who helps out your disabled mum with the bins, leaves it in a place inconvenient to you, so you have to a minute out of your day to move the bin before you can park?

You're right it is a 'minor irritant'. Very minor indeed.

Her neighbour could be a complete horrible selfish arsehole (as many are) but he's not. He's a lovely man who looks out for your mum. The fact that he inconveniences you to the point that you draw a diagram and start a thread about says a lot more about you than it does about him.

AspasiaLunata Tue 12-Mar-19 11:05:32

What would be wring in saying "Hello lovely neighbour. I just want to thank you for kindly moving mum's bin every week, it's such a nice thing for you to do and I want to know how much I appreciate you looking out for her. While I'm here, would it be ok to ask if you could leave her bin at X until I get home with my car? Thanks so much"

AspasiaLunata Tue 12-Mar-19 11:06:02


Sarahjconnor Tue 12-Mar-19 11:06:13

He's being really helpful and will watch out for DM when you are not there. I'd be grateful for such a nice neighbour and move the bin.

Mugglemom Tue 12-Mar-19 11:07:03

I wouldn't say anything. It sounds like you're not going to be keeping up the arrangement of staying with her much longer, and you don't want the neighbour to take away the message of "Don't do the bins", because I'm sure your mother would appreciate the neighbour's help once you're no longer living there.

Mummyoflittledragon Tue 12-Mar-19 11:08:52

It is a minor irritant. I could understand it being an inconvenience if you were disabled and had difficulty getting in and out of your car. Your mum doesn’t want to say anything so don’t.

twistable Tue 12-Mar-19 11:10:23

YABU and lazy

donajimena Tue 12-Mar-19 11:12:00

My bin men do this. Stick it in the middle of the drive. Its annoying but its really not worth getting upset about. Its great that she has such nice neighbours.

PineappleTart Tue 12-Mar-19 11:12:05

This is such a non issue. The guy is helping g out your mum and it takes seconds to rectify. The alternative is he stops helping.

JumpOrBePushed Tue 12-Mar-19 11:12:28

I’d leave it and not say anything.

It sounds like a very minor inconvenience.

wigglypiggly Tue 12-Mar-19 11:12:57

Is it your allocated parking space?

Purplecatshopaholic Tue 12-Mar-19 11:13:19

If its that big a deal you could, you know, like, err, talk to him about it....But really, its your mothers house and she doesnt want you to say anything, so suck it up! In the scheme of things is it that much of an issue - really??

7Pip Tue 12-Mar-19 11:14:22

Can you not take the bin out yourself and position it somewhere else?

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy Tue 12-Mar-19 11:15:13

It's such a minor thing that happens, what, once every fortnight? Just not worth the hassle. Let it go.

Hushnownobodycares Tue 12-Mar-19 11:15:21

How many nightmare neighbour threads are there daily on MN?!

This one sounds like a diamond. I really, really wouldn't make an issue of this.

OoohAyyye Tue 12-Mar-19 11:15:32

I'd just get out and move it tbh.

I would perhaps mention it in passing myself (rather than ask your mum to do it) rather than popping over.

WanderingDaffodil Tue 12-Mar-19 11:17:20

This is really not an issue! How hard is it to move a bin?

Alongwaytogo Tue 12-Mar-19 11:17:28

Yabu and very lazy. If someone asked me to this I'd be less inclined to help at all!!!! He's helping you mum out ffs.

ittakes2 Tue 12-Mar-19 11:18:41

Honestly - I would leave to - he does the hard bit and surely its once a week.

Springiscomingsoon Tue 12-Mar-19 11:19:23

Don't upset him! When you leave he will still be helping your mum and she may desperately need help in the future when you aren't there.
It doesn't take long for you to get out of your car and move the bin!
And be thankful every time you do as someone is thinking kindly!

HollowTalk Tue 12-Mar-19 11:25:37

Couldn't your mum move the bin that distance, so that you can park easily?

Margot33 Tue 12-Mar-19 11:26:53

He will probably stop doing it and the bin men won't care where they put it. So it will probably block your mum's drive anyway!

Hoppinggreen Tue 12-Mar-19 11:31:02

Are you the person who had a minor meltdown over soup ?
If so you really need to chill

Girlzroolz Tue 12-Mar-19 11:37:07

Well, given you sometimes move his bin for him as well, isn’t that the perfect conversation starter for you?

You: ‘Hi Fred, just wanted to check, when I get the chance to move your bin in, where is the best place for me to wheel it? I know sometimes a small distance can make a big difference?!’

Fred: ‘oh just a tiny bit to the left of where you’ve been putting it, thanks’

You: ‘thanks again for all the times you bring mum’s bin in. You really are a godsend. She and I really appreciate it.’

Fred: ‘No problem, happy to help.’

You: ‘Actually, now that I think of it, would it be cheeky for me to ask you to wheel mum’s bin a bit further left? It makes it easier for me to park, so I can get in to her quicker. Is that ok? Thanks so much’.

Fred: ‘Sure’.

End of problem.

Sparklesocks Tue 12-Mar-19 11:38:36

It’s such a small thing once a week, a bit irritating having to get out of your car but as PP have said in the big scheme of things it’s very minor. It’s really nice the neighbour helps out in that way as not all neighbours would. I wouldn’t risk saying anything in case he takes it the wrong way and stops helping. Feels like a pick your battles moment.

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