3 month old devil(23 Posts)
AIBU to think that a 3 month old/ older baby/ toddler is harder than having a newborn?
The sleep deprivation was bad but generally looking after ds was easier. Now he’s 3 months and cries all the time- angry cries. When he was younger he had colic and silent reflux so I’m used to a lot of crying but generally ‘pain’ crying around feeds. I was hanging on to the fact that this is ‘supposed’ to go away around 3 months. Now he is lovely to look after in many ways because he’s more interactive but he’s also very strong and has a temper! I think he might be over tired as he won’t sleep much between 11:30am-8pm (maybe twice for around 20 minutes at the most- sleeps through until 4am).
In short, I’ve got more sleep at night but have a baby that cries more (screams), needs more stimulating entertainment and is bloody heavy but can’t cling on to me. AIBU to think this is getting harder not easier?
He sounds hungry, perhaps? Angry crying to me means, “I’m Hank Marvin!”
What treatment is he having for his colic/silent reflux? Does ha have CMPA/I?
I think you already diagnosed your issue. Put him down with a feed on him every 2 hours maximum, if you wait too long he'll be overtired and find it hard to sleep.
Feeding isn’t meant to cause pain, is anyone helping you with this?
In my experience it goes in bursts not steadily easier or harder! 3-6 months is a bad one usually as they can get sleep regression/growth spurt/teething.... both mine settled right down again by 7 months and were sleeping long stretches....
But then you'll have periods where it gets bad again!
3 month old babies aren’t capable of having a “temper” and they don’t really need that much in the way of “stimulating entertainment” (just wait till you have a 2 year old if you want to know the meaning of attention-seeking). Your son is still extremely young and only interested in having his basic needs satisfied. Something must be bothering him, be it pain, hunger, tiredness or something else. Have you tried putting him in a sling? Speak to your health visitor.
I’ve got a sling, which I’m using more but it’s putting a strain on my back and ribs. He’s was prescribed gavisgon for his feeds which has helped, however the crying around feeding time has stopped. I feed on demand whenever he’s hungry- that’s the first thing I try when he cries.
He seems...bothered and I can’t figure it out. I think tired and I try getting him to sleep during the day but he fights it intensely. I know he’s teething, could it be that? An example of his crying is that he is happy for one moment and then screams to be held- which is fine, but this is frequent and he seems distressed. He is happy for a while on my shoulder but his cries are proper screams with tears and red face. E.g. after baby group as I was leaving I had to put him down in the pram for a moment while I sorted the sling- cue screaming to the point where he was chocking. I just don’t think it’s normal?
Sounds like uncontrolled silent reflux to me
Could be his milk is the problem. Mine had wind and silent reflux. Went to gp. Milk changed and different baby ☺️ the not sleeping might be cause he's uncomfortable and cant lie down
He was taken off Gavisgon as it made him constipated and he was prescribed Ranitidine 3 times a day. His feeds are better- he doesn’t cry or arch his back while feeding any more. He just seems generally more irritable.
Also some babies have instant reaction to milk and some babies have delayed reaction to milk. Mines had delayed reaction so was hard to initially work out what was wrong
He’s been on Aptamil since he was a few days old with a brief change to SMA and then Cow and Gate comfort but he seemed to take those worse so I’ve stuck to Aptamil and I’m too scared to mess with his formula any more.
I’ve mentioned all of this (the crying) to the health visitor and she’s just made sympathetic noises and mentioned gripe water each time (I’ve tried all the anti-colic stuff).
Agh, is there any sense in early weaning at 4 months?
Ranitidine is somerimes not enough. Some babies need to be on PPI like Lansoprazole or Omeprazole.
It may be of benefit to trial a dairy free formula. Does he have any gut issues like diarrhoea or constipation? Eczema? Bad or extended cradle cap?
@nos123 no!! I weaned my son at 17 weeks because was grumpy. Didn't help!!
I'd ask for a referral to the local allergy clinic. Really helped me understand what was going on with my son.
Also, you can get round the constipation caused by Gaviscon by giving them lactulose. We had to keep DD on Gaviscon alongside lactulose and Ranitidine and then Lansoprazole until she stopped having bottles at 18 'months. I though the Gaviscon wasn't doing much until we did a trial of stopping it, and realised her reflux got much worse. I don't think it's usually the dream ticket on its own, but it can be a useful part of an overall treatment strategy.
I wouldn't want early unless you are advised by a paediatrician (not a GP), and certainly not until you have worked out of intolerances or allergies are in play. If they are, weaning could make things worse for a while.
3 month olds are hard work. As you say; they are heavy and they want to be held. They don’t play for long at all.
It might help you you to stick to a ‘routine’ as such -
3 month old babies can roughly follow a general 3 hourly routine- Eg within those 3 hours they should eat, play , be changed and sleep
If you stick to this it means in practice putting them to sleep 1.5-2hours after they wake up. He probably won’t look tired at this point , but for some babies looking tired is too late!
Eg wake up at 8am - change nappy & feed
9.30 check nappy & cuddle / read story
(If it takes a while for him to fall asleep then start the getting to sleep process a bit earlier)
Then 11am feed and repeat cycle etc until bed time
You’ll usually find one of these day time sleeps is longer, perhaps the lunchtime or afternoon feed will lead directly into a sleep for example - just work from whenever he last woke up
It can feel pretty relentless but if you know you’ll have 45mins ish break every 3 hours it’s easier!
If you can try & get both of you some fresh air each day- it makes the world of difference , but is hard with the weather in the uk in Winter!
I know this doesn’t work for every baby but it might help - for you - babies are hard work! (And definitely harder than newborns imo!)!xx
Thank you so much for the advice.
He does have suspected eczema. We’ve take him to the gp about his skin, which is very dry and sensitive. The gp wasn’t sure but sent us away with emollient. He also does have a little cradle cap around the top of his head.
I’ll head back to the gp and ask for milk allergy testing? I’ll also suggest that the Ranitidine alone isn’t working. I didn’t realise that babies could have a delayed reaction with silent reflux as the crying and difficulties used to be very concentrated around feeds. It used to take up to 2 hours to feed him one bottle!
Thank you for the routine advice- I will follow it. I’m not a very organised person myself and managed to loose any sense of routine once he started feeding less frequently! I think it must be a combination of tiredness and reflux...
@nos123 you’re welcome, I hope it helps
Be kind to yourself - tiredness and new babies are hardwork without the additional complications of reflux etc
Once you have a loose routine in place it tends to make everything else easier xx
They can't test for intolerances, but can for allergies. This is only done in specialist paediatric allergy clinics in hospital. Your GP should offer a trial of dairy-free (not soya!) formula, but may be reluctant as a) a lot of GPS are not well-informed about this and think an infant must have dramatic symptoms to be affected (this is absolutely not the case) and b) it's expensive.
I would push for a trial of SMA Alfamino or similar, and argue that, while expensive, if it is not CMPI/A you will only need three weeks worth of formula to work that out. However, if he is allergic/intolerant he needs to come off dairy ASAP to avoid further damage to his gut.
If you get pushback, insist on a referral to paediatric gastroenterology. You may find you need to see one anyway for a PPI prescription, as some GPS won't prescribe them for infants.
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