Advanced search

Would my baby be considered Mixed?

(132 Posts)
CardboardAnnie Mon 11-Mar-19 22:32:54

I am mixed race, my husband is 100% white. Our baby would therefore be 75% white.

I think if I'm mixed, my child would obviously be mixed too. My husband disagrees. He thinks that our baby should just be classed as white (on forms etc).

Our baby most likely won't look particularly non white, some people don't always realise that I am mixed. But I am, and somehow it feels wrong to just write that part of me off?

It got a bit heated when we were discussing it again earlier, and I thought some outside opinions would help!

mumwon Tue 12-Mar-19 23:17:23

ps I did get the tb shots for them - it was at school I drew the line

MistressDeeCee Tue 12-Mar-19 23:47:03

I wonder what your husband will do if your child comes out with Chinese features, OP? It's entirely possible. Having white skin doesn't mean your child will have say white European features.

Given that he wants to whitewash away your heritage as if it's of no consequence, which to me sounds so disrespectful - how do you think he will cope?

If you're having more children it could be the case that one looks mixed, and the other doesn't...

Some really interesting posts on here. DP's great-grandmother on his father's side was white Portuguese, married a Caribbean man, so his grandfather is mixed race. Grandfather married a Caribbean woman and had DPs mum, who doesn't look mixed at all. DPs mum married a Caribbean man.

So DPs parents are black Caribbean yet he is very lightskinned and often assumed to be mixed race. His siblings are darker skinned and do not look mixed. His sister's husband is white English so their children are mixed race, yet their children are darker than DP even though they do look mixed race.

So you never can tell. Percentages aren't reliable. Genetics are a strange thing and your husband just may get a shock, OP...

NameChange992 Tue 12-Mar-19 23:55:11

It is arbitrary where you cut it off, we all have some kind of mix in us somewhere.
I kind of think depending on the appearance of your child you might want to answer differently in different circumstances e.g. medical forms you’d probably want to ensure any genetic risks are recognised and go with mixed. A form which is interested in different cultural influences similarly i’d probably go mixed. But if most people perceive them as white, then on e.g. employment equal opportunity monitoring forms i’d probably tick white otherwise it’s doing a disservice to those who are visibly of a minority group and experience discrimination as such, when a company can claim to be diverse without ever recruiting/ promoting anyone who doesn’t look white, or vice versa.

aintnothinbutagstring Wed 13-Mar-19 00:10:52

I'd think it a bit sad if a child who has Chinese heritage grew up thinking they were 100% Caucasian, I think it's important for people to know their background, ancestry, it's their identity. China has such a rich and amazing history and culture, why would a father deny his child being part of that.

brookshelley Wed 13-Mar-19 00:12:04

pacifico I find your post so sad. To purposely not give your DCs any indication of their heritage and to be happy they look white.

I have a Chinese friend with a white DH who expressed disappointment to me that her first DC looks completely Chinese. My DCs both look mixed and I’m happy they resemble both sides.

Ihavealwaysknown Wed 13-Mar-19 00:21:03

I always tick the white other box for myself. I have Polish, Irish and Dutch grandparents so it seems right to do so 🤷🏻‍♀️.

Although when it comes to DD we tick white british 🤷🏻‍♀️ All of her grandparents are british. I guess that’s where we have drawn the line, if she decides to identify differently when she is older then that is her judgement to make. Her name incorporates all of her heritage though so I guess that’s the way we have factored it in!

BlackCatSleeping Wed 13-Mar-19 02:32:43

I have a friend who’s white but her husband is Chinese. She says so many people assume her daughter was adopted from China. It’s definitely a source of frustration for her.

Join the discussion

Registering is free, quick, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Get started »