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Would my baby be considered Mixed?

(132 Posts)
CardboardAnnie Mon 11-Mar-19 22:32:54

I am mixed race, my husband is 100% white. Our baby would therefore be 75% white.

I think if I'm mixed, my child would obviously be mixed too. My husband disagrees. He thinks that our baby should just be classed as white (on forms etc).

Our baby most likely won't look particularly non white, some people don't always realise that I am mixed. But I am, and somehow it feels wrong to just write that part of me off?

It got a bit heated when we were discussing it again earlier, and I thought some outside opinions would help!

pencilpot99 Mon 11-Mar-19 23:12:41

My children are definitely mixed even tho’ they’re only 25% black African and the rest white. Their colouring is dark and they have Afro hair - could never say they were anything but mixed. Reckon your OH could be in for a surprise (depending on what the 25% is in your circumstances). Even if they don’t look mixed, the fact is, they are - just as much as my kids are - whether they look it or not.

pinkboa Mon 11-Mar-19 23:12:59

Your child is mixed...

As are my children and myself. DH is 100% English white man.

One of my children looks like me brown... the other looks white with green eyes. I've had to correct his medical records because they had it down as white... he is not white he is mixed and I don't get it because how and why would a black woman be breastfeeding a white baby 😐.

GabsAlot Mon 11-Mar-19 23:15:02

but theyh wont be white will they they'll chinese mixed race-why is he so against it it doesnt mean half and half

Gomyownway Mon 11-Mar-19 23:15:36

RUOKHUN no, I’m confused why people think your race has any impact on your health.

On a socialeconomic level, sure. But that shouldn’t apply to those who ‘look’ white.

Things like sickle cell anemia and so forth are about genetics and family history. Not just because you happen to have non-white skin.

PeeGreen Mon 11-Mar-19 23:28:33

Chloe Bennet is half-Chinese; her family name is Wang but she changed it. East Asian & White isn't as obvious as black African and white can be.

FWIW there are other issues I think in that a lot of white men perceived Asian features as feminine, so if your baby is a boy (?) then that may weigh on things a bit.

PeeGreen Mon 11-Mar-19 23:37:23

I think also there's a different issue in terms of your own cultural identity. I know some mixed families who go to SE Asia every year with their children and their children have a cultural identity in that respect, but it's not as strong perhaps as if they lived in SE Asia.

And I think if you are the child of a Chinese-born parent, say, then clearly that heritage is strong in your own childhood and childhood experiences and so on, but for your children where you perhaps are culturally mostly British that's clearly a far weaker influence.

But obviously that's not much to do with your husband?

PickAChew Mon 11-Mar-19 23:43:45

You should tell your DH he sounds like a goadyfucker.

Merryoldgoat Mon 11-Mar-19 23:45:28

I had this exact conversation with my DH recently. I’m mixed (white and Caribbean) but look more European (people think I’m Greek or Spanish usually) and my husband is white. Our baby is pale than my husband, blue eyed and blond. I’m still ticking the ‘mixed’ box but it does feel a bit strange given the way he looks.

TheSchumanPlan Mon 11-Mar-19 23:46:14

It’s a difficult one.

I know quite a few black people who have one white grandparent, but none of them describe themselves as ‘mixed’ - they all see themselves as just black.

Musti Mon 11-Mar-19 23:53:40

I don't think it matters but I would say that your baby will be mixed. I've friends with the same mix as yours and their children some look white and some look mixed race. I also know a 50/50 mixed east Asian and white who is round eyed and blonde curly haired. Still not sure why we have to classify and tick boxes.

NooNooHead1981 Mon 11-Mar-19 23:54:10

Hello OP, I am half Chinese like you. My DH is white. I identify as mixed race, and my DD who is 8 was having a very interesting conversation with her friends at school, as she had told them she was a quarter Chinese (bless her!) 😍 but they didn’t believe her as they found it hard to believe I was of mixed race... 🤔😦

I’m proud of how much she valued her mixed race heritage despite being ‘only’ a quarter Chinese. It is obviously something that is very important to her, and I think she found it a bit hurtful that her friends didn’t believe it or take her seriously.

I’m adopted too, and I find that heritage and mixed race are still very important to me, despite being brought up in a white British home and upbringing. I find it important to disclose my ethnicity in medical history too, as it can mean I am more susceptible to certain conditions (I think Asians are more likely to get gestational diabetes - I have had this twice).

My DH has no issue with my background. I think it is a shame that your DH wants to disregard it as unimportant.

CatchingBabies Mon 11-Mar-19 23:55:49

Your child will be mixed race despite if they look Asian or not. In terms of where does it cut off, I’m a midwife and when we fill out family origin forms (to establish those at greater risk of thalasemia etc.) a parent or grandparents ethnicity counts.

So going by that your child is mixed race, their child (if the other parent is 100% white) is also mixed race and their child (again if 100% white) would simply be classed as white.

What that is based on I have no idea.

I don’t think it really matters what the child looks like or what is even necessary factually correct however, your heritage is important to you and you want to pass that on to your child.

Bellasorellaa Mon 11-Mar-19 23:56:06

My niece is like this she is tanned and looks mixed
Look at Halle Berry kids they don’t look white
Your kids are mixed

NooNooHead1981 Mon 11-Mar-19 23:58:48

My birth surname would have been Pang, which is very obviously Chinese. I’m sure if I had been called that, I wouldn’t have had an issue with it, but my adopted name was quite an unusual British one that people always seemed to notice / remember. My married name now is quite boring and fairly common, but I much prefer it to my maiden name!

NannyRed Tue 12-Mar-19 00:00:15

You’re mixed race, your child is mixed race, regardless of what he looks like.
You cannot give birth to a white child, it will be mixed.

OhDiddums Tue 12-Mar-19 00:03:11

Yes your child would be mixed. I'm 3/4 white and 1/4 black. I'm mixed not white or black.

NooNooHead1981 Tue 12-Mar-19 00:04:03

Why does your DH not think you are having a mixed race child if you are mixed race? My DC are both mixed race as they are a quarter Chinese. I would probably put them down as mixed in a health form category tick box, but as a PP has said, officially they are white despite having mixed race blood.

IamPickleRick Tue 12-Mar-19 00:07:35

I say that mine are mixed heritage but both are considered Caucasian. So if there are limited options for filling out forms etc, I’ll put mixed white.

If there are more in-depth options I tick those boxes.

You can’t go simply on what they look like, one of mine looks exactly like me and is so pale he is see through, and one looks exactly like his dad and is completely olive.

Ansumpasty Tue 12-Mar-19 00:09:50

It’s a hard one as I agree with others that it’s almost what you look like that decides. Also, where is the line drawn...when you 0.5% ‘mixed’?
I know someone who is 25% mixed race and yet looks whiter that white, with blonde hair and blue eyes. Then there is Tamera Mowrey’s daughter. She is mixed race herself and is married to a white man, yet the daughter looks as African American as someone who has 2 African American parents.
Theses forms are outdated- more and more people are blurring the lines and there isn’t a need for the box ticking.

I always wonder what those people with one blue and one brown eye tick when it comes to eye colour...

MumUnderTheMoon Tue 12-Mar-19 00:12:04

Mixed race because they are and you are and your can't write off one of your parents and their race and the importance of cultural identity it would be very wrong of your dh to try.

MumUnderTheMoon Tue 12-Mar-19 00:12:33

Posted to soon. Race and culture are about more than just how you look.

x2boys Tue 12-Mar-19 00:12:41

I used to be friends with sisters who were mixed race one sister appeared completely white very pale skinned red hair ,the other sister was dark skinned with afro type hair their dad had a white parent and black parent and also had dark skin and afro type hair they both were mixed obviously ,in spite of appearance ,genetics can be deceptive.

PyongyangKipperbang Tue 12-Mar-19 00:17:39

DD has the same mix, exDH is half and half, I am white. We always put that DD is mixed as she is, and so will yours be.

Worries me slightly that your DD is so objectionable to your DD being mixed race.

PyongyangKipperbang Tue 12-Mar-19 00:18:10

Worries me slightly that your DH that should be

FunkyKingston Tue 12-Mar-19 00:22:56

I don't think it matters but I would say that your baby will be mixed. I've friends with the same mix as yours and their children some look white and some look mixed race

How someone appears shouldn't really effect how they think of themselves, but in a society where bigotry and racism still exist, if they they appear to be white, they will be treated as such by a society and less likely to face discrimination when it comes to employment, housing and harassment by the police. However a sibling who is visibly of dual heritage would not benefit from white privilege in the same way and will in all liklihood be regarded as and treated as black/Chinese/Indian by society at large.

I remember when i worked for a youth offending team, it appeared that mixed race young people committed almost no crime despite making up a significant proportion of the city's population.

It finally came to light that despite clear instructions to the contrary the police officer recording the ethnicity of a young person they'd arrested would make their own judgement on ethnicity by looking at the young person rather themselves.

At the time the cops seemingly recorded all mixed white/African-Caribbean young people as black, despite them often being interviewed with their white parent acting as appropriate adult. The day a young person from a north African background was arrested blew this copper's tiny mind as they couldn't fit into the white/black/asian schemata they'd constructed in their head so wrote down 'looks like a white boy with dark skin' in the 'other ethnicity' box.

Daft racists.

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