I'm due at the end of April (providing DD stays put until then as I've had a few fights!) and one of my friends wants to travel down for a fortnight when she's born and stay with us, to meet the baby, see our toddler and she says help out.
I don't actually foresee her doing hands on childcare (not that I'd ever expect her to come here to do that) and get the impression she just wants to get away for a break but does actually want to see and coo at the DC in the process. It would basically be me playing host, trying to entertain her and the DC at the same time whilst adjusting to the new baby.
We live in a very small home and don't have a spare bed for her which she knows but has said she's happy to sleep on the sofa. She wants to come for a fortnight as it's a long way to come for just a couple of days and says she won't be able to afford a hotel. She genuinely doesn't think such a visit in these circumstances would be imposing.
When she first ran it by me a few months ago I was quite taken aback and simply said it's nice of her to offer but I couldn't commit so I'll have to get back to her about it. I didn't. I didn't want to be rude and say she'd be in the way and as she doesn't yet have children she's a little naive as to the lack of sleep/hormones/emotional rollercoaster that comes with having a squishy newborn.
It wasn't mentioned again for a few months and I assumed that was the end of it, until tonight when we were chatting via text.
She brought it up out of the blue and said she's going to book her ticket down at the start of April, so obviously I need to clear the air now before she does. I hadn't even confirmed it would be ok, as obviously it's not.
DP knows nothing about all of this as I never intended to host in the first place but he'd feel very uncomfortable about the whole thing, as would I in the early days with a newborn, because we just don't have the room or added stress of a house guest for the foreseeable.
Now obviously I have huge issues around asserting myself, this is something I'm trying to work on so please go easy on me!
How would you tell her she's not welcome? Given how she doesn't see the lack of space, newborn, or mine and DP's need for family time as issues.
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Friend wants to come and stay for 2 weeks when baby is born.. WWYS?
372 replies
Februaryblooms · 11/03/2019 22:16
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