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Parent drinking alcohol before assisting with school trip

(87 Posts)
Baydreams Mon 11-Mar-19 16:21:08

I would describe the parent of one of DCs classmates as a functioning alcoholic.

I frequently see them post-morning school run sinking 4 tins. Despite this, they never seem particularly inebriated to me.

This morning I saw this parent doing their usual 9.30am routine, and then this afternoon I saw the same parent returning from assisting the class school trip (primary school).

So, my questions are:

1. What would you do?

2. This question is for anyone who works in schools or has knowledge in this area - what action might the school take? Short of breathilising them, it’s a he said / she said situation, so I’m interested to know what the standard course of action would be if I had a conversation with the school.

And 3. Do I need to check my double standards? Eg, I wouldn’t bat an eyelid at PTA mums drinking a a handful of glasses of mulled wine at the Christmas fair whilst still running the show. There are other helpers and teachers around so should it be up to them to judge if someone isn’t
up to the job of assisting with the class?

I feel like it’s important that I do mention it to the school (although I’m pretty certain this isn’t the first time a parent has made the school aware), but think I just needed to mull over my thoughts first and ask what others would do.

Hot4Holes Mon 11-Mar-19 16:23:30

I would have thought they’d be able to smell the alcohol on their breath if they’d been drinking?

On the one hand it’s better the school know, on the other it’s none of your business.
Not much help am I

BrokenWing Mon 11-Mar-19 16:26:39

Dont gossip about it (not saying you would), give the school the facts you know from your own personal experience only and leave them to monitor the situation.

RuLu Mon 11-Mar-19 16:29:03

Tell the school. Raise your concerns.

Their judgement is likely to be impaired after a drink therefore they should not be responsible for children. The school needs to know.

CabbageHippy Mon 11-Mar-19 16:29:06

what sort of time is post morning school run? and you say them so is it both parents?

QuirkyQuark Mon 11-Mar-19 16:30:27

They stand in the street sinking tins? In all my years as a parent I've never seen a parent do drop off and then crack open a can confused

RuLu Mon 11-Mar-19 16:33:39

To answer your questions

1. Yes I would.
2. The school as a minimum wouldn't use/invite the parent again. No way they could risk assess it with that information & someone under the influence would no longer be a responsible adult therefore the ration would be compromised. They will certainly keep a log & may well let SS know out of concern for the parents own children.
3. Maybe/probably but many people do/have done that

x2boys Mon 11-Mar-19 16:33:49

Where do you see them.drinking the cans ? Are they driving after drinking? Are they turning up to school.to.pick the kids up drunk? If not I'm not sure what the school.can do ?

greenlynx Mon 11-Mar-19 16:33:55

Did you actually saw this parent drinking alcohol this morning? And then you saw him/her returning from the class trip?
By the way what time was the trip? Is it a long one or a short one?

EmeraldShamrock Mon 11-Mar-19 16:34:31

How do you see them sinking cans? Are they drinking on the street?

Baydreams Mon 11-Mar-19 16:36:57

One parent. Anywhere between 9am and 12pm on school days. Today was straight after morning drop off.

ScabbyHorse Mon 11-Mar-19 16:38:07

Of course you should tell the school. Not just anyone in the office but find the safeguarding lead.

BreevandercampLGJ Mon 11-Mar-19 16:38:27

Drinking in the street before school, I am unashamedly clutching my pearls. grin

x2boys Mon 11-Mar-19 16:38:31

Where though ,are they drinking in public or can you see into their home ?

Chickychoccyegg Mon 11-Mar-19 16:40:01

do they literally stand outside the school drinking 4 tins?

QuirkyQuark Mon 11-Mar-19 16:42:09

Op you're going to have to tell us where they're drinking the tins because unless you have concrete evidence of them doing it isn't it just you speculating?

TheInvestigator Mon 11-Mar-19 16:43:16

How is it that you are seeing them drinking? Is it on the walk home? Are you peering in their windows?
You'd need to be able to explain how you know this... without looking like a stalker.

But if you have seen it then I'd tell the school.

Baydreams Mon 11-Mar-19 16:43:57

Woops bear with me whilst I get used to the replies system - longtime lurker, infrequent poster, here.

@CabbageHippy One parent. Anywhere between 9am and 12pm on school days. Today was straight after morning drop off.

@x2boys No driving involved. I see them drinking on the street in public. Can't see into their house.

@greenlynx yes I did. Short trip, 1.5hrs max. 1.30pm.

KaliforniaDreamz Mon 11-Mar-19 16:44:50

Def tell school - i go on frequent school trips as a helper and often have 6 kids under my care as we walk round a museum or whatever. The idea of someone not being on the ball with a small group of children is not good.
No gossip no judgement but this is safeguarding.

SaucyJack Mon 11-Mar-19 16:44:56

Unless it’s your spouse, I don’t understand how you regularly come to see them drinking a four-pack in the morning.

It’s not as if it’s warm enough for picnics.

Gersin Mon 11-Mar-19 16:44:57

Tell the school. If you’ve spotted it I doubt they will be surprised, they teach the child who has probably let things slip (as kids do). The school then can politely decline any further offeres of help.

Baydreams Mon 11-Mar-19 16:45:51

@quirkyquark No speculation. I see them frequently on my way back from school drop offs, and at the weekend when we are generally out and about. Outside in public spaces.

x2boys Mon 11-Mar-19 16:46:12

In publicshock that does sound worrying why would they not wait until they got home confused

Bumbumtaloo Mon 11-Mar-19 16:48:50

I think you need to speak to the school and let them know what you have witnessed.

I had an issue with some parents at DD’s previous school, they used to drink as soon as they came out of the gates and until they walked back through the gates at pick up time. They were seen all over the place with cans of Strongbow. I’m not going to go further into what happened but SS were involved. I will say the school were aware of the parents drinking.

clairemcnam Mon 11-Mar-19 16:50:06

It depends if the adult was part of the ratio and had responsibility or not.

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