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AIBU to refuse to pay for this ticket?

(80 Posts)
SweetieJar Mon 11-Mar-19 14:50:43

A friend has booked me a ticket to a charity night without asking. She's done similar before twice now. Booking events that I hadn't shown any interest in attending and I've asked her not to. I'm not at all a party person and really struggle with large events-partly due to autism- She knows this but seems to take it personally that I dislike parties. -I will attend for a friend or family's birthday/wedding but that's about it.

The event that she's booked is a Ladies' Night for a charity that I'm not really familiar with. It costs £37-That's with a discount apparently- and it's very much alcohol and makeover/fashion focused. I don't drink alcohol and I don't wear makeup or have any real interest in fashion. I have no problem with others having those interests and there's nothing wrong with them but they just aren't my thing.

She's pissed off that I've declined to go and that I don't want to pay. AIBU to refuse to pay for an event that I didn't ask to attend?

billybagpuss Mon 11-Mar-19 14:52:14

If you don't stick to your guns this time she'll do it again and again.

She didn't ask you its therefore her responsibility

pompomcat Mon 11-Mar-19 14:54:52

YANBU-tell her it's her responsibility to return the ticket or sell it on. It sounds like you have clearly told her no before - say again that you will not be paying for the ticket or attending.

SeaViewBliss Mon 11-Mar-19 14:55:26

YANBU at all. You don’t owe her anything.

ShartGoblin Mon 11-Mar-19 14:56:01

She is being completely unreasonable and I think she's been taking advantage of you by doing it twice before. Good on you for standing up for yourself and saying no. @billybagpuss is right, she'll just keep doing it if you don't.

pigsDOfly Mon 11-Mar-19 14:57:49

No of course YNBU.

I'd be very annoy if someone decided to spend my money on something I had no wish to attend because they'd made the decision for me.

Stick to your guns and don't be pushed into paying for it; that way she might eventually listen to what you're saying.

LordNibbler Mon 11-Mar-19 14:58:07

Say no, or she's just going to keep on doing this. And don't let her guilt trip you either. She sounds like a bit of a bully, making you do things she knows you don't want to do.

outpinked Mon 11-Mar-19 14:58:20

YANBU at all. I’d personally drop her as a friend.

PutyourtoponTrevor Mon 11-Mar-19 14:58:48

Just ask her why she expects you to a pay for a ticket for an event that you never agreed to and have no interest in.

Farmerswifey12 Mon 11-Mar-19 14:59:15

If she booked them without even consulting you then you are definately not being unreasonable.

Happynow001 Mon 11-Mar-19 14:59:50

YANBU otherwise she'll just think she was right and keep doing this.

Purpleartichoke Mon 11-Mar-19 15:03:26

Definitely refuse to pay.

MunchMunch Mon 11-Mar-19 15:07:30

Sounds to me like she's expecting you to pay for her ticket! I reckon she's bought it for herself but said it was for you knowing fine well you wouldn't go but still pay up. hmm

Has she really bought you one, have you seen both hers and yours?

AlpacaPicnic Mon 11-Mar-19 15:17:56

Gawd, no don't pay her. Your money, your choice of which charities to support and how.
And well done for not hiding behind a lie of 'oh, I'm busy that night' - that won't teach her anything.

TinselAndKnickers Mon 11-Mar-19 15:19:03

That's madness! How she can expect you to go along with that I don't know. YADNBU

NWQM Mon 11-Mar-19 15:19:11

To be frank - just let her be pissed off. Hopefully it'll be the last time.

Do not waiver though. You are not the one being unreasonable.

hdowney Mon 11-Mar-19 15:20:38

God no. I wouldn't be giving her a penny. You TOLD her not to and she did it anyway so tough. She'll have to try return it or sell it on. This is like a massive escalation of people who add you to Facebook groups without your permission and that pisses me off.

TonightJosephine Mon 11-Mar-19 15:20:49


Tell her she is not entitled to dictate how you spend your time or money. If you wanted a ticket to this event, you would have asked for one.

Purplecatshopaholic Mon 11-Mar-19 15:21:27

She is expecting you to reimburse her for a ticket you didnt ask for, or want? Is she deranged? No is a complete sentence remember!

CottonSock Mon 11-Mar-19 15:24:44

My friend did this, I couldn't even make it so she was stuck with ticket. Really silly of her

diabeticsanon Mon 11-Mar-19 15:25:48

sorry but she doesn't sound much of a friend to keep doing this, i'd let this friendship go and not pay her a penny.

Shinesweetfreedom Mon 11-Mar-19 15:26:24

She maybe will get the message if you stick to not paying her for the ticket,and not pull this stunt again .She sounds like a user and because you have been soft in the past has taken advantage.No go and no pay.

ShatnersWig Mon 11-Mar-19 15:26:51

You KNOW you don't need to ask this. You KNOW you aren't being unreasonable.

I hope you also now know this person is NOT your friend. They wouldn't have done it once, let alone a third time.

AspasiaLunata Mon 11-Mar-19 15:27:35

YANBU. You didn't ask her to book it, infact you asked her not to. Not much more to say really

Mummyoflittledragon Mon 11-Mar-19 15:28:13

You don’t like make up, fashion or parties. Yet she’s bought you a ticket to this event. Definitely time to stick up for yourself and refuse this time!

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