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To think this woman is rude?

(77 Posts)
redrobin212 Mon 11-Mar-19 13:10:26

So this morning as I was walking back up the road (quiet cul de sac) after taking my children to school, my neighbour who lives at the top (late 60's, Head of the neighbourhood, chief gossiper) opens her window and shouts to me "When's your baby due?"

I'm NOT pregnant.
I'm slightly over weight (but only slightly and have actually LOST weight recently).
I just answered "I'm not having a baby".

She then put her hand to her mouth in exaggerated shock, and said "Oh. Really? We all thought you were!" Then she added with a laugh, "You've just put weight on then have you!"

I didn't say anything and went into the house.
I'm guessing she's drawn that conclusion because I've recently started wearing tunic style dresses with think black tights (not maternity ones obviously but she wouldn't know that) just because I feel comfortable in them (I don't feel right in jeans or trousers. That's just my preference).
I'm not going to change the way I dress as that's the style I feel happy/ comfortable with.

I have so much going on at the moment and currently having counselling as I suffer from depression and panic attacks, so I am trying to brush this one under the carpet as it really is a minor issue in the grand scheme of things.

I just wondered if anyone else had ever been in this situation (where someone asked if you were pregnant and when you were not) and how you dealt with it.
I know I would never dream of asking another woman when her baby was due unless I was 100% certain she was having one!

After I came back into the house, I saw her doing her rounds, going around all the houses (I'm guessing to tell them the news that I'm not pregnant after all and "just put weight on").

For the record I'm 43 and a single mum.
Full time carer to my youngest who is severely disabled.
No reason for anyone to jump to the conclusion I would be having another baby (apart from the tunic dresses which I refuse to give up wearing as I love them).

kaytee87 Mon 11-Mar-19 14:44:54

If you had the nerve...
*
You - knock knock
Her - Hello what do you want?
You - Well just to check you are ok really
Her - ?
You - Well you were so weirdly rude this morning. Not like you, I've always thought you were a really nice woman. Was there something wrong? Do you feel ok?
Her - !
You - If you ever need someone to talk to just come over. You've been looking as if you've got a lot on your plate recently, you know not really looking your best but I didn't want to say anything.
Her -!!!
You - Don't worry about this morning by the way. I don't think anyone else saw you. It did make me laugh by the way, reminded me of my old granny who would come out with stuff like that, sitting there with no teeth making rude comments! Of course - that was before she had to be taken away.
Her - !!!!!!!
You - Anyway I'm sure it isn't anything like that, not implying anything, I just thought you sounded stressed. (quick arm squeeze) anyway you know where I am hun eh?*

Brilliant grin

Cel982 Mon 11-Mar-19 14:44:53

Possibly a bit rude (albeit potentially well-meaning)

Gosh, PB, I'd love to hear what you consider to be really rude!

DarlingNikita Mon 11-Mar-19 14:41:35

Rude and clearly has no life – as must be the case for all your neighbours if they've all been talking about you and are eagerly awaiting her going round to update them all.

Fuck em all.

MadameDD Mon 11-Mar-19 14:38:35

she is rude and a nosey cow!

A few years ago before I was pregnant I'd 'put on weight' not a huge amount but enough that there was a stomach. On the tube once a woman offered to give up her seat for me because she thought I was pregnant - hence me legging it to the gym and wearing Spanx more!

CaptainMyCaptain Mon 11-Mar-19 14:37:07

I had the opposite happen to me. A male neighbour mentioned that I had put on weight when I was actually 6 months pregnant. Why people feel entitled to comment on either pregnancy or weight I don't know.

gamerchick Mon 11-Mar-19 14:36:26

How can you not play with her? I don't think I'd be able to resist. Put her in the spotlight for a change.

BeakyPlinder Mon 11-Mar-19 14:35:24

How rude, try and just ignore her and definitely keep wearing what you like. thanks

Recently a man offered me his seat on the tube and I said no I'm fine thanks, getting off in a minute and he said your entitled to the priority seat and pointed to the picture of a pregnant woman...I just said no I'm fine, still stung a bit!

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy Mon 11-Mar-19 14:33:36

Rude cow!!!

Unfortunately, some people are just like this. Everyone else in the neighbourhood probably feels the same way about her as you do.

Just keep on being you and ignore her.

tealandteal Mon 11-Mar-19 14:27:29

This is very rude. She didn't run in to you and say Congratulations because she actually thought you were expecting. She approached you to get some gossip or to deliberately make you feel bad. Ignore her.

Uptheshard Mon 11-Mar-19 14:26:27

Bitch! Yes this happened to me last summer. Was in my garden gardening. Particularly bloated that day. Def not Preg.

'OHH'!!!' shouts the upstairs flat neighbour ' YOU ARE LARGE IN FRONT!!? BABY?' Whilst doing baby signs with hands.

Quickly I replied back ' NO, AM JUST FAT'. That shut her up, nosey cow.

Laughed at her ignorance and astounding rudeness afterwards!!

Bookworm4 Mon 11-Mar-19 14:22:49

Your reply should have been 'when are you going to stop being a cunt?'

FrogsAreMean Mon 11-Mar-19 14:22:24

PBo83
"Possibly a bit rude (albeit potentially well-meaning) but more likely a poor assumption or she'd heard inaccurate gossip than anything malicious."

PBo83 - I was just wondering whether you read the same opening post from redrobin212 as the rest of us did?

OP please don't let this old crow and her bitchy comment get to you.

WhentheRabbitsWentWild Mon 11-Mar-19 14:20:36

Hand to the mouth rather .

Weathermonger Mon 11-Mar-19 14:19:58

Please, please, please don't let her bother you. Don't give her any more headspace. As a voluptuous (and yes I prefer that to overweight) woman I have been asked that in the past, but not any more (I'm too old). I wish at the time I'd had some cutting reply but I didn't. Your neighbour is a bitch, ignore her best you can

WhentheRabbitsWentWild Mon 11-Mar-19 14:19:29

She was Rude .

Its like a lady who lived where I once lived, lol . She said some see it as rude, she sees herself as being honest and up front .
As an example I passed her on the stairwell once .
Her . You look very nice today E
Me . Thanks L , kind of you to say
Her. You do look sort of scruffy some days

Haha . Other than her frankness she was a lovely lady.

Your neighbour however, especially with the fake stifled giggle etc, was being a bitch.

FizzyGreenWater Mon 11-Mar-19 14:19:11

If you had the nerve...

You - knock knock
Her - Hello what do you want?
You - Well just to check you are ok really
Her - ?
You - Well you were so weirdly rude this morning. Not like you, I've always thought you were a really nice woman. Was there something wrong? Do you feel ok?
Her - !
You - If you ever need someone to talk to just come over. You've been looking as if you've got a lot on your plate recently, you know not really looking your best but I didn't want to say anything.
Her -!!!
You - Don't worry about this morning by the way. I don't think anyone else saw you. It did make me laugh by the way, reminded me of my old granny who would come out with stuff like that, sitting there with no teeth making rude comments! Of course - that was before she had to be taken away.
Her - !!!!!!!
You - Anyway I'm sure it isn't anything like that, not implying anything, I just thought you sounded stressed. (quick arm squeeze) anyway you know where I am hun eh?

grin

downcasteyes Mon 11-Mar-19 14:16:59

Utter, utter cow.

Next time you see her, ask after her health and say that you heard through the grapevine that she had antibiotic resistant gonorrhea.

PuppyMonkey Mon 11-Mar-19 14:15:09

It’s one thing her asking if you were pregnant but I’m shock and a bit confused that she SHOUTED THIS OUT THE WINDOW.

What a fruit loop.

Which is probably what your neighbours really think of her tbh OP, try not to let her upset you.

MzHz Mon 11-Mar-19 14:10:02

You have to ask op!? She’s an utter witch!

If she ever so much as looks in your direction again, please do tell her to ftfo?

I’d go with “you know what? I can lose weight, or gain weight, it’s neither here nor there, but no matter what you do, you’ll always be a poisonous bitch”

jaseyraex Mon 11-Mar-19 14:07:40

Horrible woman! When she says they all thought you were, what she means is she's the one going around telling people you are. Tell her to piss off next time she says something gossipy.

I was 38 weeks pregnant when we moved in to our current house (very obviously pregnant, had an 11lb baby in there) and my new neighbour still faked shock and said oh I didn't realise you were pregnant congratulations! when I mentioned my due date grin lovely lady so she is.

On the other hand after I had DS1 we were on the bus to the hospital (DS1 was in neonatal unit for some time) and some random man asked when I was due. He laughed hysterically when I said I'd already had the baby and gave me a back handed apology saying 'sorry but you still look a bit pregnant don't you'. Thought DH was going to floor him.

EarringsandLipstick Mon 11-Mar-19 14:04:51

I'm so sorry. That's really really nasty. It really is HER issue and speaks to the kind of person she is. Nothing to do with what you are wearing or size or shape you are.
Especially as you mention you are a single parent, and clearly have a lot to deal with with your child with disabilities, there's just no way it's an innocent mistake.
I'd feel crap hearing that, no matter what I told myself but try not to dwell on her nastiness, if you can flowers

RuggerHug Mon 11-Mar-19 14:03:01

Next time she goes on holidays wait til she's back and say 'Oh you're here, we all thought you'd gone to a nursing home'.

cmereiwantcha Mon 11-Mar-19 14:01:36

There's only one response to a comment like this, inspired by cricket sledging...

'Yeah, every time I shag your husband he gives me a biscuit'.
biscuit

Sarahjconnor Mon 11-Mar-19 14:00:48

Ask around if anyone else is concerned about her erratic behaviour, could be a sign of dementia or just confusion in old age, she needs someone to watch out for her. Mention it repeatedly with great concern and care. Smile at her sympathetically and speak to her like you would someone with advanced dementia. That'll sort it grin

BadBear Mon 11-Mar-19 13:59:30

I used to be a chubby kid, and comments like this stay with you forever so don't brush it under the carpet. I know how hurtful it can be. Acknowledge that she is a twat and move on.

You are working on your health (both mental and physical), she is horrible person who doesn't care about others and has bad manners. You don't have to be polite or even say hello next time you see her. Cut negative people like her out of your life.

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