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To think this woman is rude?

(77 Posts)
redrobin212 Mon 11-Mar-19 13:10:26

So this morning as I was walking back up the road (quiet cul de sac) after taking my children to school, my neighbour who lives at the top (late 60's, Head of the neighbourhood, chief gossiper) opens her window and shouts to me "When's your baby due?"

I'm NOT pregnant.
I'm slightly over weight (but only slightly and have actually LOST weight recently).
I just answered "I'm not having a baby".

She then put her hand to her mouth in exaggerated shock, and said "Oh. Really? We all thought you were!" Then she added with a laugh, "You've just put weight on then have you!"

I didn't say anything and went into the house.
I'm guessing she's drawn that conclusion because I've recently started wearing tunic style dresses with think black tights (not maternity ones obviously but she wouldn't know that) just because I feel comfortable in them (I don't feel right in jeans or trousers. That's just my preference).
I'm not going to change the way I dress as that's the style I feel happy/ comfortable with.

I have so much going on at the moment and currently having counselling as I suffer from depression and panic attacks, so I am trying to brush this one under the carpet as it really is a minor issue in the grand scheme of things.

I just wondered if anyone else had ever been in this situation (where someone asked if you were pregnant and when you were not) and how you dealt with it.
I know I would never dream of asking another woman when her baby was due unless I was 100% certain she was having one!

After I came back into the house, I saw her doing her rounds, going around all the houses (I'm guessing to tell them the news that I'm not pregnant after all and "just put weight on").

For the record I'm 43 and a single mum.
Full time carer to my youngest who is severely disabled.
No reason for anyone to jump to the conclusion I would be having another baby (apart from the tunic dresses which I refuse to give up wearing as I love them).

Confusedbeetle Mon 11-Mar-19 13:12:27


ILoveBray Mon 11-Mar-19 13:13:42

People can be horrible.

I will never make any comments about someone being pregnant unless I am 100% sure they are.

I've had this happen to me twice, and it is shit.

Don't stop wearing your tunics just because of this thoughtless woman flowers

nancy75 Mon 11-Mar-19 13:13:45

Just keep in mind some people are arseholes & this delightful woman would appear to be one of them!
Wear whatever makes you happy & feel pleased that you are a better person than her.

Grimbles Mon 11-Mar-19 13:13:53

In what way is it not rude?

PBo83 Mon 11-Mar-19 13:14:00

Possibly a bit rude (albeit potentially well-meaning) but more likely a poor assumption or she'd heard inaccurate gossip than anything malicious.

10IAR Mon 11-Mar-19 13:14:41

She's worse than rude, she's a nasty, spiteful and snide woman.

I'm sorry she was so hurtful. I have a severely swollen stomach due to IBS and I've been asked but never in such a horrible and humiliating way.

I will say that the way she spoke to you says far more about her than it does you. Hopefully karma gets her!

Easterbunnyiscomingsoon Mon 11-Mar-19 13:15:31

We have a similar ndn who loves reminding all our neighbours we only rent our house!! Spouts on how much money he has spent on his.
Actually found out most of the upgrades were done by the previous owner!!
I still speak to any nice ddog owning neighbours and just ignore ndn!!
Don't worry op, all you street will know she is also batshit!!

DailyMailFuckRightOff Mon 11-Mar-19 13:17:31

Oooh, so rude! Start a few rumours of your own off.... ‘Mrs gossip was telling me just the other day that she’s found a really good remedy for her nits’.

thesnapandfartisinfallible Mon 11-Mar-19 13:17:43

Actually I've been playing this game called cunt=cake where you have to eat a cake every time you talk to a cunt. Living next door to you...well you can imagine!

Treaclesweet Mon 11-Mar-19 13:18:41

Beyond rude. What a spiteful cunt.

AuntMarch Mon 11-Mar-19 13:19:39

I was offered a seat on the bus once. When I declined he said I should sit in my condition. Then went on to argue with me when I said I wasn't pregnant! I ended up saying "don't you think you should just stop talking?"

It is/was very rude. But you aren't the only one to experience it, don't let it get you down!

LeesPostersAreInFrames Mon 11-Mar-19 13:22:51

I have been. It hurt and still does. I'm fat, and I have a big belly (gut issues). A stranger at a festival toilet que asked when the baby was due. They meant it in a lovely kind making conversation way, but it didn't land well. To her I laughed and said something about not being pregnant just fat, but it did upset me internally. She reacted in a really light way about having recently had a baby herself, which kinda surprised me; if I'd have made that faux pas I would have been MORTIFIED.

Your neighbour sounds crazy and at best thoughtless and worst cruel. That's not normal behaviour.

I'm sorry you've been given this to deal with, especially having recently lost a baby and lost weight too. Know that what you're neighbour said was much more about their shittiness than you. flowers I wouldn't give her any more than the time of day. Xxx

Cyberworrier Mon 11-Mar-19 13:24:26

How horrible OP. I am always astonished at the number of people who similar things have happened to!!! It really is a reflection on her, not you. Please don’t start imagining/worrying about her gossiping about you. Or if you do imagine, imagine her coming to your house and starting to slag off another neighbour. YOu would think she is completely awful and not believe a word-and avoid her in the future. If you do have to speak to her , if she asks any personal questions, shut down the conversation “I’m not comfortable talking about this, bye”. If she asks, say “You do realise that is a very personal question, I’m not comfortable in this conversation and I’m leaving.”

Pinklittle Mon 11-Mar-19 13:25:28

Someone asked me when the baby was due while I was pushing my 3 month old in her pram!!! Some people are so rude, really pissed me off at the time and still does tbh, sorry this has happened OP x

woodhill Mon 11-Mar-19 13:26:04

What a nasty women. Don't understand why someone takes delight in bullying someone else. Hope one of the people she tells calls her out on this.

SnipSnipMrBurgess Mon 11-Mar-19 13:33:37

You see I would knock on her door and tell her she is really rude. Call her out on it. What an absolute bitch.

PiebaldHamster Mon 11-Mar-19 13:37:54

Rude, bitchy thing to say. I love it now my hair is grey and I have wrinkles, no one ever assumes I'm pregnant.

Hoggytat Mon 11-Mar-19 13:41:46

This is not to do with what you wear, it has everything to do with a person who wanted to make themselves feel better by putting someone else down.

She tried that again shut that shit down e.g. "No I'm not pregnant, you've asked me that already, have you been to see about your forgetfulness?" or ask her if she feels good putting others down or simply tell her she's being rude.

Don't overthink things. You're fine as you are. She's the one with the issues,

Namechangedbecauseiwantto Mon 11-Mar-19 13:43:29

Why give her the satisfaction, just let it go...

outpinked Mon 11-Mar-19 13:46:10

She’s a nasty piece of work. I had a baby four months ago and am struggling with my confidence/self esteem so I would genuinely go home and cry if someone said this.

Purplecatshopaholic Mon 11-Mar-19 13:47:00

WOW! You clearly have some lovely neighbours! Let it go, she is the twat! Is she perfect, I doubt it......

thedisorganisedmum Mon 11-Mar-19 13:49:27

I agree with above, it's not rude, it's just nasty.

Horrible people are only that way because they are unhappy and jealous, happy people do not go round spreading misery. It's entirely her problem, not yours.

Well done on losing weight. If you are not happy with your own body, just keep going and ignore her. The woman has issues!

MissClareRemembers Mon 11-Mar-19 13:56:23

So unpleasant. You just don’t ask that question.

It’s happened to me 3 times since having DCs.

First in a lift when DC 1 was about 10 months. A woman looked me up and down and said “you’ll have your hands full!” Took me a minute or two before I realised she thought I wa pregnant.

Second: at a playgroup with DC2 and the leader ‘advised’ me I didn’t have to take part in a particular activity if I wasn’t up for it. Again, took me a minute or two...

Third: sat down to have my nails done and the technician asked when I was due.


To be fair, I did have separated stomach muscles from pregnancy so I had a bit of a bumped sorts. Gutting though.

CaseofEllen Mon 11-Mar-19 13:57:43

Haven't experienced the pregnancy comment but do have a bitchy neighbour or two down our cul de sac. They live for the drama (that they've created hmm) and spend half the week bitching. If that gives them satisfaction then 🤷🏻‍♀️ you keep wearing your tunic dresses proudly!

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