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MIL is full of shit

(112 Posts)
slidepuzzle Mon 11-Mar-19 10:21:30

In the last few days I have heard...

1. Calling a man “gay” (for not liking sport) is not homophobic.

2. You shouldn’t eat dry crackers when you feel nauseous because it will dehydrate you.

3. Wearing clothes to cover a burn (such as a glove if you have burnt you hand) means it won’t hurt if you put your hand in water to wash up or have a bath.

This is all shit isn’t it?

ChickenNuggetsChipsAndBeans Wed 13-Mar-19 06:46:35

YABU

Why not teach your children that sometimes grownups say things that are wrong. They will come into contact with adults who spout a load of shit and they will need to learn how to respond to that.

KooMoo Wed 13-Mar-19 09:06:25

Had to reregister as couldn’t get into account.

I’m with Thingybob and feel for you to say MIL is full of shit is being totally disrespectful towards the grandmother of your children.

Your wording is deliberate. Your MILs is being unconsciously ignorant. There is a difference.

manicmij Wed 13-Mar-19 09:27:18

Not knowing MILs age, seems she is in a time warp, not moving on in language and scientific progressions.

Cockadoodledooo Wed 13-Mar-19 09:45:23

Tixywixy in our case certainly not. Both sets of parents have in the past expressed questionable views, however their reactions when challenged were vastly different. My children are happy to question things said by my parents, but wouldn't dare to with the in laws because of the fuss (particularly from fil) it creates. Dh himself much prefers spending time with my parents than his own.
I'm not sure I'd describe either of my in laws as 'full of shit', but I'm afraid I'm rather glad we don't have to see them on a regular basis. If my children expressed a wish to see them then we'd facilitate it somehow (we live some distance away), but the fact is they don't, due to how they are treated when they do visit.

BertrandRussell Wed 13-Mar-19 09:48:18

Using gay as an insult is completely unacceptable.

I have heard equally-if not more- bonkers health advice on here every day.

PostmanPatIsIncompetent Wed 13-Mar-19 10:30:13

You know, kind of beside the point about your MIL who sounds annoying AF but I don't buy the "give her a pass for being older" point any more. How old's your MIL - probably in her 60s, as you have young DC? Maybe younger? She would have been a young child or a teenager in the 60s/70s, when the civil rights movement was mainstreamed (including legalising homosexuality) had her own children in the 80s/90s, where I can clearly recall a lot of popular discussion about individual rights and the importance of language. It's not like she grew up in that different a world; people born in the 1950/60s don't get a free pass for being homophobic/racist/sloppy with language when awareness and social norms around those things changed when they were children themselves.

I understood my grandparents had grown up in a different world but they were born in 1908 and 1912. We shouldn't keep making excuses for people cause they're "old" (I mean I'm 43, where's my free pass to be a dick?! I'd quite like one...)

Sparkerparker Wed 13-Mar-19 11:41:32

She is full of sh*t but worse than that she is an out and out bigot.

BertrandRussell Wed 13-Mar-19 11:46:41

Using “gay” as an insult is not generally a thing older people do. In my experience it usually stops at about 15!

Blondebakingmumma Wed 13-Mar-19 12:40:52

I’d be reluctant to go NC just yet. I’d try to find your voice and be vocal. Also give her a heads up that the homophobia and intolerance to disabled persons will not be tolerated and save it for when not around dc.

“Grandma is being rude and what she just said is wrong and very inappropriate. We accept everyone no matter what their sexuality and sexuality does not determine sports ability”

“We do not speak badly about people in our community who need our lobe, compassion and support. Being lucky enough to be fit and healthy we have a civic responsibility to those who do not”

“NO! Dc do not put your burnt hand into the hot water because it will really hurt!”

Speak up. If it causes a falling out, who cares

Blondebakingmumma Wed 13-Mar-19 12:42:11

Are not

TheSandman Thu 14-Mar-19 11:06:08

Older people can change their minds. (And have liberal attitudes). I'm 60, my mum is 80. She was full of ire about Shamima Begum (this was before she lost her child). I know this is not the thread for rehearsing that argument but I was for letting the stupid girl come back and face whatever consequences were coming to her. My mum was of the 'let her rot' persuasion. We had a right old ding dong with me pointing out that, had Ms Begum been blonde and blue-eyed and Daily Moan had a picture of her in a bikini it would have been a 'kidnap and abuse by dirty foreigners' story, and the woman did what she did when she was a teenage girl - would she condemn her own teenage GD for one stupid decision?

It got quite heated.

Next day she apologised and agreed that she'd been wrong and just knee-jerking.

TheSandman Thu 14-Mar-19 11:14:56

BertrandRussell Wed 13-Mar-19 11:46:41

Using “gay” as an insult is not generally a thing older people do. In my experience it usually stops at about 15!

True. And used like that it is a relatively recent use of the word. At least in general usage - so she has learnt it recently.

The use of the word 'gay' to mean homosexual is a lot older than I'd assumed. Growing up in the 70s it felt like a newly coined or reclaimed word. There was a lot of that in the 'Gay Lib', 'Women's Lib' movements (How quaint those terms seem now). But I recently came across it being used to mean homosexual men in Nail Kent's The Divided Path written in 1949.

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