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MIL is full of shit

(112 Posts)
slidepuzzle Mon 11-Mar-19 10:21:30

In the last few days I have heard...

1. Calling a man “gay” (for not liking sport) is not homophobic.

2. You shouldn’t eat dry crackers when you feel nauseous because it will dehydrate you.

3. Wearing clothes to cover a burn (such as a glove if you have burnt you hand) means it won’t hurt if you put your hand in water to wash up or have a bath.

This is all shit isn’t it?

neveragainbob Mon 11-Mar-19 15:14:30

Thingybob, your true colours are showing.

slidepuzzle Mon 11-Mar-19 15:13:46

don't children have a right to a relationship with their close relatives whenever possible? Being homophobic (or any other phobic) doesn't mean that someone cannot be a loving, caring grandparent.


She calls her grandchildren and son in law gay.

slidepuzzle Mon 11-Mar-19 15:10:44

Yes I know that homophobia is unacceptable these days... hmmshock

It was always unacceptable.

DuckbilledSplatterPuff Mon 11-Mar-19 15:08:28

Are we related Purple? Similar haircut happening! LOL!

Some people have lovely MILS and they are very lucky.. and yes we will all be MILS one day.
Unfortunately the only way I can cope with mine is to use her behaviour towards me as an example of how not to treat people.. I focus on trying not to let her get to me. and so I do enjoy an occasional chuckle at threads like these.

LeesPostersAreInFrames Mon 11-Mar-19 14:59:46

She's a twat.

The cream cracker thing she might have a kinda point on, though. If you eat a dry cracker, it's going to absorb liquid in your GIT and whenever whatever is left of it passes out as poo, it's not bone dry, poo has water content. Therefore eating a dry cracker is going to absorb some of the water in your gut that could be absorbed by your body instead. However it can't take water out of your body and dehydrate you, it can only prevent some of the water you have eaten/drunk from hydrating you. Easily made not a thing by having a few extra sips of water.

really I have no idea why I focused on that instead of the homophobic awfulness except that other people have covered that

Thingybob Mon 11-Mar-19 14:49:54

Thanks for your support Spiritinabody

Gosh I'm taken back by how many in here would sever all ties with a grandparent over what appear to be quite small differences. Yes I know that homophobia is unacceptable these days but whether we like it or not there are still many older people that think differently so shouldn't you younger people calmly disagree and hopefully challenge their point of view rather than break off all contact?

As for a grandparents rights, I agree they don't have any but don't children have a right to a relationship with their close relatives whenever possible? Being homophobic (or any other phobic) doesn't mean that someone cannot be a loving, caring grandparent.

Children will eventually be exposed to all sorts of differing views unless you ban them from ever coming into contact with a Brexiteer, a Daily Mail reader, anyone from a different social Class, religion or culture. Then as they grow up they will develop their own opinions and will start to challenge and disagree with their parents. Would you then want them to then cut all contact with you?

pigsDOfly Mon 11-Mar-19 14:46:39

AllinADay. MIL bashing does tend to be something of a sport on MN.

However, having said that I suspect that the bigoted MIL were ignorant and bigoted when they were younger and it's got absolutely nothing to do with the fact that they are MIL or older.

I'm sure that in years to come, if MN is still going, there will be similar threads started by the DIL of the generation that is posting on here now about their MIL.

There are ignorant bigots, and people who refuse to move with the times in all generations unfortunately, but it's probably not until they are older and have someone like a DIL posting on a forum like MN that anyone really talks about it, and given that the relationship between MIL and DIL can often be a tricky one there are always plenty of DIL pleased to take the opportunity to do so.

Fluffyears Mon 11-Mar-19 14:28:09

Mil said recently that only gay men get HIV/AIDS. I said everyone includibg heterosexuals can get it and she said ‘ach no it’s something only gay men get!’

JingsMahBucket Mon 11-Mar-19 14:26:31

Oh dear. It sounds as if mother-in-laws are coming in for a bit of a bashing.

Nope, just the bigoted ones who are stupid enough to think that “breast milk is too fatty for babies so feed them formula instead”. If you’re not a bigot or stupid, then you should be feeling just fine. smile

Easterbunnyiscomingsoon Mon 11-Mar-19 14:06:54

My dc don't see any dgps.
They are thriving!!

Strixaluco Mon 11-Mar-19 13:43:46

HoustonBess is spot on. I've never understood why people think you suddenly become entitled to respect on your 18th birthday and automatically keep it indefinitely thereafter, whether or not you have earned it.

BlueMerchant Mon 11-Mar-19 13:42:24

Totally agree with the title of your post- yes, MIL is full of shit. In my experience at lot of them are. Don't lower yourself or your family into associating with shit.

AllInADay Mon 11-Mar-19 13:38:43

Oh dear. It sounds as if mother-in-laws are coming in for a bit of a bashing. I used to bite my tongue at some of my mother-in-law's comments but there were times in my life when she really helped me out in terrible situations and I'll be forever grateful to her and felt sorry, in retrospect for much of what I muttered about her. I was so upset when she died and how she suffered before her death.

I'm a mother-in-law myself now and you find that you are now dealing with a unified front with your son/daughter and their wife/husband. I'm conscious that I must say or do some things that are odd. I also expect that they find me a pain, because they are in that stage of their lives, just like I was. I get upset by some of their comments back, but I've learned to keep quiet when that happens, having seen it from all sides.

FudgeBrownie2019 Mon 11-Mar-19 13:37:03

but what about your children, shouldn't they see they their grandparents?

Grandparents don't have an automatic right to their Grandchildren. And if those Grandparents are going to teach the grandchildren to be small-minded bigots, it's perfectly acceptable for parents to refuse or reduce contact.

I've banned MIL's DP from spending time with/around our DC. He did something I find unforgivable and he's no longer part of our lives. Of course it's made life more tricky for MIL and for her DP, but if someone is a prick, they shouldn't be around DC.

HoustonBess Mon 11-Mar-19 13:30:28


It's funny how you have to show respect to grandmothers but showing respect to how children feel is tiptoeing and pampering...

Why should you bother tiptoeing around grandmothers' feelings when they act like rude arses?

Tixywixy Mon 11-Mar-19 13:21:16

I'm an older person and completely disagree with Thingybob. It really , really isn't hard to keep up with what is offensive and not offensive.

I can't stand people who spout all kinds of shit as if it's an incontrovertible truth. Your MIL sounds like one of those.

PS I voted Remain and don't read the Daily Fail.

DorothyZbornak Mon 11-Mar-19 13:13:29

She sounds like my mother. Thick as shit and a Daily Mail reader.

oohyoudevilyou Mon 11-Mar-19 13:01:00

People talk a load of shit don't they? I ignore it, whether it comes from Mil, friends or the media. I defend my right to talk shit of the great things about living in a society like ours is that we can use our own judgement to decide what is right and wrong.

Spiritinabody Mon 11-Mar-19 13:00:26


Your post clearly wasn't meant in an unkind way. You sound like a kind and sensible person who tries to view things from different perspectives before coming to a conclusion.

MadAboutWands Mon 11-Mar-19 12:55:29

but what about your children, shouldn't they see they their grandparents?
As a child I went to see my grandparents or rather I was made to go and see them. Both narcissistic and manipulative people.
And you know what? They were like with my dad and they were like this with me too. I hated it and had the same issue than my dad with them. Except that, as a child, I couldn’t explain why and certainly didn’t feel I couod say ‘I didn’t like grandma’. I was just uncomfortable each time we were at their house.
So shouldn’t chikdren see their grandparents? Well if it’s for them to see people who are nasty or manipulative etc... nope. I don’t think it’s worth it as they will be exactly the same around or towards said grandchildren. Except they wont be able to defend themselves.

pigsDOfly Mon 11-Mar-19 12:52:42

Thingbob No you didn't call it right. I'm an older person and a MIL and I can assure you words do not 'slip' out of my mouth and never in my life have I used any homophobic expressions as insults.

These sort of excuses for ignorance and nastiness, and a tenancy towards reading the Daily Mail, are not age not driven, they're driven by ignorance and stupidity.

PS: I voted remain.

Purplecatshopaholic Mon 11-Mar-19 12:49:20

Why should kids see their GPs if they are complete fuckwits?? I remember the time my MIL was looking after my BIL's 2 kids and without asking, took them to get their hair cut. My niece had long hair and it was all cut off. I think understandably my SIL went mental and they did not speak for many months.

justasking111 Mon 11-Mar-19 12:46:27

I think it behoves any DM or MIL to keep up with how children are raised now compared to "In my day". We know more about the science between breast feeding, co-sleeping, which way to lay baby in cot, how to dress them, when to wean. I admit official advice given to midwives, health visitors has swung wildly over the years but there is a core of scientific facts to support things.

flumpybear Mon 11-Mar-19 12:42:04

oh yes, Dry crackers and dehydration .... I suspect you'd need water if eating them quickly particularly if a bit salty but no, lack of water = dehydration

Easterbunnyiscomingsoon Mon 11-Mar-19 12:42:00

The same exmil told me my ds's had to have a nappy /pants on at all times or they would get sexual feelings.

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