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MIL is full of shit

(112 Posts)
slidepuzzle Mon 11-Mar-19 10:21:30

In the last few days I have heard...

1. Calling a man “gay” (for not liking sport) is not homophobic.

2. You shouldn’t eat dry crackers when you feel nauseous because it will dehydrate you.

3. Wearing clothes to cover a burn (such as a glove if you have burnt you hand) means it won’t hurt if you put your hand in water to wash up or have a bath.

This is all shit isn’t it?

TixieLix Mon 11-Mar-19 10:33:09

Although being homosexual is fine, using the word 'gay' in a derogatory manner is very offensive. I assume this was directed at a man? Why does she feel it is compulsory for men to like sports?

A glove won't stop pain if you put a burnt hand in hot water, as it's the heat that will hurt, not the wetness.

Dry crackers themselves won't dehydrate you. Not drinking water dehydrates you.

Your MIL sounds a bit dim.

Singlenotsingle Mon 11-Mar-19 10:39:50

I would waste my time or energy engaging with such silly ideas. You can't even call it a generational thing. I'm a MIL, probably older than yours, but can't agree with any of that foolishness. Are you sure she's not winding you up?

Singlenotsingle Mon 11-Mar-19 10:40:16

would NOT

Easterbunnyiscomingsoon Mon 11-Mar-19 10:42:43

Ime you just can't argue with stupid.

GreatDuckCookery6211 Mon 11-Mar-19 10:45:36

She sounds clueless for sure.
The only comment I would pull her up on is the gay one. The others I would roll my eyes.

PlainSpeakingStraightTalking Mon 11-Mar-19 10:48:59

Words evolve - especially 'gay' .

Generalized pejorative use

When used with a derisive attitude (e.g., "that was so gay"), the word gay is pejorative. While retaining its other meanings, its use among young people as a general term of disparagement is common.[6][40] This pejorative usage has its origins in the late 1970s, with the word gaining a pejorative sense by association with the previous meaning: homosexuality was seen as inferior or undesirable.[41] Beginning in the 1980s, and especially in the late 1990s, the usage as a generic insult became common among young people.[6]

adjective: gay; comparative adjective: gayer; superlative adjective: gayest

(of a person) homosexual (used especially of a man).
"the city's gay and lesbian people"
relating to or used by homosexuals.
"a gay bar"
light-hearted and carefree.
"Nan had a gay disposition and a very pretty face"
synonyms:cheerful, cheery, merry, jolly, light-hearted, mirthful, jovial, glad, happy, bright, in good spirits, in high spirits, joyful, elated, exuberant, animated, lively, sprightly, vivacious, buoyant, bouncy, bubbly, perky, effervescent, playful, frolicsome; More
informalchirpy, on top of the world, as happy as a sandboy;
informalas happy as a clam
"her children all looked chubby and gay"
brightly coloured; showy.
"a gay profusion of purple and pink sweet peas"
synonyms:bright, brightly coloured, vivid, brilliant, rich, vibrant; More
richly coloured, many-coloured, multicoloured;
flamboyant, gaudy
"the windows sported gay checked curtains"
foolish, stupid, or unimpressive.
"he thinks the obsession with celebrity is totally gay"

SleepingStandingUp Mon 11-Mar-19 10:50:17

The first one I'd pull her up on, especially if there are children about.

The second one I'd ignore. She doesn't have to eat them and has no control over you.

The last one I'd only correct if she was convincing someone else to say wash up with a burnt hand in a glove. If it's her, let her crack on.

slidepuzzle Mon 11-Mar-19 10:52:09

I did call her on the homophobic comment and it caused a huge row.

Other gems include all disabled people pretend their disability is worse than it is and children that get tuition for exams are cheats. 😐

slidepuzzle Mon 11-Mar-19 10:54:04

The gay comment was definitely meant as a slur all round. Her defence was “everybody says it”.

Sparklesocks Mon 11-Mar-19 10:54:42

PlainSpeakingStraightTalking just because it might be ‘common’ doesn’t mean it’s ok.

DoneLikeAKipper Mon 11-Mar-19 10:56:08

Words evolve - especially 'gay'

Yes, that’s certainly true. However, as is defined in black and white:

foolish, stupid, or unimpressive.
"he thinks the obsession with celebrity is totally gay"

It’s an offensive way of describing anything. Much like saying ‘stop being such a girl’ - being gay or female does not equate to weakness or negativity, so should not be used to describe those things.

Ultimately, obviously the MiL is wrong in her thinking.

GreatDuckCookery6211 Mon 11-Mar-19 10:57:20

She sounds pretty awful, how often do you see her?

diabeticsanon Mon 11-Mar-19 10:57:36

everyone doesn't say it, heck she sounds totally ignorant and out of touch. best called out on the offensive stuff and ignored on the nonsense.

GottaGetUp Mon 11-Mar-19 10:58:52

PlainSpeaking, if the word gay had completely evolved to mean rubbish/stupid, and nobody ever used it to mean homosexual, or even remembered that it had ever meant homosexual, then you might have a point. But if for some people the word can mean homosexual and rubbish at the same time, then those people are homophobic.

slidepuzzle Mon 11-Mar-19 11:01:16

GottaGetUp Very well put.

slidepuzzle Mon 11-Mar-19 11:04:01

GreatDuckCookery More often than I’d like but luckily only half a dozen times a year. Trouble is all these comments are one trip’s worth. Next time they’ll be a whole new set of crap to encounter.

FizzyGreenWater Mon 11-Mar-19 11:04:38

'They don't say it around my kids. If they do, they don't see my kids'


3boysandabump Mon 11-Mar-19 11:06:55

My 7 year old has started to say something is gay instead of stupid. Really annoying and I pull him up on it every single time. I'm really hoping I will have drummed it into him that it's not ok before he's old enough to be anybody's in law.

SleepingStandingUp Mon 11-Mar-19 11:11:24

Urgh, she sounds awful. How old are the kids? Can you train them to bat her batshot back?

Nanny why do men who don't like sport have go have a boyfriend? Nanny you're silly, Bobby's Daddy is gay and he likes football

Nan, that's not right, there's no link between sexuality and sport, just look at Tom Daley. Or are you trying to use gay as an insult?

FizzyGreenWater Mon 11-Mar-19 11:13:55

'MIL you are so full of shit'

'How dare you speak to me like that!'

'What? Everyone says it' smile

GreatDuckCookery6211 Mon 11-Mar-19 11:16:47

Skip the next visit OP and send DH on his own.

RomanyQueen1 Mon 11-Mar-19 11:22:17

Erm, what's so wrong about covering your hands after a burn.
This one is true, hot water makes it burn more.

slidepuzzle Mon 11-Mar-19 11:25:35

RomanyQueen1 Child burnt hand on the oven, MIL put a wooden glove on the hand so they could wash up 🙄. Child screamed in pain. It doesn’t work.

slidepuzzle Mon 11-Mar-19 11:26:54

Woolen not wooden!

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