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To think OH should take the day of?

(68 Posts)
caute Mon 11-Mar-19 05:53:11

I'm very ill drowsy and tired and a really bad migraine every time I bend down my head goes so dizzy I feel like I'm going to collapse. I don't feel safe driving like this. Ds needs to go to nursery and I need to go to the doctors and the hospital for a blood test. I've been ill for a while now but It's getting much worse.

He said he will drop me at my mums but that is no help because my mum can't drive.

MrMeSeeks Mon 11-Mar-19 19:47:41

This idea of migraines annoys me. I have 1-3 migraines a year and I cannot see for half the da, I'm often sick and my head pulses. You can't do anything with a migraine.

Ffs. you can’t do anything with a migraine, some of us manage to do things with some of our migraine attacks.

wowfudge Mon 11-Mar-19 14:28:55

You're backtracking @geekone because that is not what you posted.

geekone Mon 11-Mar-19 14:05:19

@wowfudge I didn’t say other type of migrains were not possible. I also have 72 hour migraines where all I want to do is cry and sleep where I can cope and do things but then I wouldn’t need my DH to take time off work I would be able to deal with my child. You can either have a debilitating migraine that does not allow you to post online or look after your children or you have one of the many other kind of migrains that the pain is prolonged and depressing but you can plod on and do what needs done. Which one does the OP have.

adaline Mon 11-Mar-19 10:54:50

Who lives 60 miles away from the nearest hospital? Unless of course she is going to a hospital that specialises in the illness she has. I would not (when having young children) live 60 miles away from a hospital

Millions of people @Lou670 - we don't all live in a city or large town with lots of amenities.

I live about 45 minutes drive from the hospital on a good day. It could be closer to an hour with traffic or roadworks. That's life when you live rurally. What do you think all the millions of parents who live in villages or small towns do? They just cope. We don't have a walk-in clinic or OOH here either. That's also 45 minutes away.

Willow2017 Mon 11-Mar-19 10:31:48

Who lives 60 miles away from the nearest hospital? Unless of course she is going to a hospital that specialises in the illness she has. I would not (when having young children) live 60 miles away from a hospital.

It was £60 taxi fare not 60 miles away. I live nearly 40 miles away from my nearest general hospital.
Its not uncommon outside cities fgs. Blame the council who decided to put it there nearer the big towns instead of closer to 'my' side of the county when they built the new hospital and closed down the smaller ones in the area and the walk ins.

needthisthread Mon 11-Mar-19 10:20:51

have recently been incapacitated due to a fall and my DH was able to leave early etc in order to take DS to football/school etc but not to look after me, I am a big girl.

Aww bless you. Have a fucking medal 🏅

How pathetic of these other people hmm

wowfudge Mon 11-Mar-19 10:17:54

@geekone - that's your experience. Don't tell me and others that we don't have migraines!

wowfudge Mon 11-Mar-19 10:16:26

@WillyNilly00 - I have migraine and I can function. Not as well as I do without them, but I do. In fact, I'd rather do anything to distract me from the pain. I take sumatriptan which helps a lot. Propanolol hasn't helped prevent my migraines.

Please don't tell me and others that I cannot have migraine just because my symptoms and the way I cope are different from yours.

Migraine attacks typically last a maximum 72 hours. My concern for Decormad's DH was that it was something else. He's being tested and scanned so I imagine the doctors have some idea what it is.

geekone Mon 11-Mar-19 10:13:36

@WillyNilly00

I agree you cannot do anything with a migraine that includes typing on a phone/iPad/computer.

I have recently been incapacitated due to a fall and my DH was able to leave early etc in order to take DS to football/school etc but not to look after me, I am a big girl.

WillyNilly00 Mon 11-Mar-19 10:08:22

@Decormad38

This idea of migraines annoys me. I have 1-3 migraines a year and I cannot see for half the da, I'm often sick and my head pulses. You can't do anything with a migraine.

cantfindname Mon 11-Mar-19 09:54:21

For the judgmental posters: migraine can be severely debilitating. I doubt the OP can barely think straight let alone do anything practical to sort out her problems. I collapsed several times with migraine, my speech was also affected to the extent that no one could understand me. Sometimes you can push through it, other times you honestly can't.

OP I am glad your partner has taken the day off to help you, but when you are over this attack you need to make a plan of action for the next time it happens. Is there another nursery mum living close to you who would take your DS in an emergency? Could your Mum get a taxi, collect DS and take him to nursery? If you put your minds to it I expect there is a solution.

I imagine your migraine is exacerbated by the blood flow caused by your genetic condition, so sadly it will be an ongoing problem that needs sorting.

Hope you feel better very soon flowers

caroline161 Mon 11-Mar-19 09:26:28

My DH has taken days off (worked from home) to care for ill children whilst i have worked but I can't imagine a situation where we would take a day off if each other was ill? Only perhaps if admitted to hospital. I say this as a manager as well. It wouldn't be looked upon too favourably. But we are fortunate to normally be well and have minimal sick time. I realise others are not x flowers

TheGirlWithAllTheFeathers Mon 11-Mar-19 09:13:44

It's very, very difficult for me to persuade DH to take a day off without prior planning - he has a job that involves appointments and they tend to be set up in advance. Mine doesn't, so I generally have 'give' in my day. We are piling on DP without knowing enough about his position.Say he is a dentist - not so easy to cancel a day's worth of appointments. But I have to say, unless the LW is just someone who's sick all the time and tells everyone so, I do not like the sound of these symptoms at all. Bending over head pain suggests blood pressure issues or something nasty going on in her head. I'd def get a proper looking at, but fix it up in advance so DP can plan.

downcasteyes Mon 11-Mar-19 09:00:48

YES, absolutely - he is a parent, some of this falls on him if you are out of action.

We really need to do something about the fact that the default setting for parenting is 'the woman will do it', to the point that certain men are left scratching their heads about what to do when she is ill. FFS! It's 2019!!

EvaHarknessRose Mon 11-Mar-19 08:51:11

Take care OP

needthisthread Mon 11-Mar-19 08:49:25

I have had to cancel GP appointments in the past because I have woke. Up with a migraine. There is no way I could get a taxi anywhere while suffering with one.

I would cancel the blood tests for today tbh. I know it's important but there is such a thing as being too unwell to go to the docs.

blueskiesovertheforest Mon 11-Mar-19 08:47:32

A £60 one way taxi fare isn't 60 miles, it's more like 35 miles daytime off peak rate. In lots of rural areas you need to pre-book taxis the day before if you have a fixed appointment to get to, or wait for potentially well over an hour until a taxi will come out.

MrMeSeeks Mon 11-Mar-19 08:47:10

Eyeroll.. Just because YOU couldn't manage it, doesn't mean nobody else can. Judging how sick a person does or does not feel based on how able they are to type on an internet forum is bullshit, and cold AF

Agree. Sometimes i can’t lift my head off the pillow, others i’ll struggle into work because i have too!
I hear the same crap that “why do you not turn the lights off etc.”
Because it makes no difference to me confused

Lou670 Mon 11-Mar-19 08:46:32

There is a 'behaviour meter' as you name it when a duty doctor rings up to assess whether or not a patient requires a home visit or whether or not they are deemed as fit to attend the surgery. The doctor will endeavour to make a home visit should the patient be unable to move.

This is not the case with the poster as she has stated that she is well enough to attend a hospital appointment. Even with getting a lift to the hospital you still then have to walk to the relevant department/ward/path lab. I am wondering how far away the child's nursery is?

MrMeSeeks Mon 11-Mar-19 08:43:50

If your DH has been able to work despite having migraines every day, he hasn't been having migraines.

Odfod.
Everyones migraines are not the same! At one point i was having them nearly everyday for months, if i’d have missed work everytime i’d have lost my job!
Oh and yes my consultant agreed it was migraines hmm

Damntheman Mon 11-Mar-19 08:39:59

I am actually surprised that as you stated are 'ill, tired and drowsy' along with a very bad migraine, that you can actually type on here. I don't think I could feeling like that.

Eyeroll.. Just because YOU couldn't manage it, doesn't mean nobody else can. Judging how sick a person does or does not feel based on how able they are to type on an internet forum is bullshit, and cold AF. Don't do it! OP says she's feeling dreadful - this means she's feeling dreadful. There's no behaviour meter for how dreadful one can possibly feel if one is still able to type on a phone in bed, get over it.

Lou670 Mon 11-Mar-19 08:32:15

Who lives 60 miles away from the nearest hospital? Unless of course she is going to a hospital that specialises in the illness she has. I would not (when having young children) live 60 miles away from a hospital.

My nearest hospital is 3 miles away from me. I am however attending at the moment a hospital that is an hours drive away from me. This is because I am attending (today actually) a specialist burns unit as I was involved in a fire and my face is covered in skin grafts.

As the poster has stated that she has been ill for some time, therefore it was a possibility that she could have been (and now is) quite ill today. As she cannot get to the hospital alone then surely there should have been some back up plan arranged?

MondayMorningBluesy Mon 11-Mar-19 08:31:32

Oh, missed your update. sounds as if ti's sorted.

MondayMorningBluesy Mon 11-Mar-19 08:30:20

There are some bloody stupid answers here.

Have any of you got any IDEA what a migraine is like? I get migraine and can't get out of bed or bear light. the idea of getting a taxi for a blood test while feeling dizzy would be out of the question.

Equally, my DH would not hesitate to take time off work- or rather work from home, which is an option for him, were I really unwell.

At the very least he'd have got the DCs to nursery.

@caute You are not in a fit state to go anywhere. Cancel your drs appt. I am not sure if you have an appt or mean you WILL need to see a dr and have a blood test OR if these appts are for today.

Worst case is your child will have to miss nursery for a day unless your DP or a friend can take them.

blueskiesovertheforest Mon 11-Mar-19 08:18:12

Get a taxi is the new cancel the cheque - what a novel and innovative idea from all those unable to read the thread before posting their unique brainwave...

I once tried to get a taxi spontaneously from where I live because my car wouldn't start on a Monday morning... After ringing every possible taxi number and being told no availability within the next couple of hours I had to ask a neighbor for a lift. As others have pointed out taxis aren't an option in many rural areas unless pre-booked, and not everyone lives near a hospital - £60 one way fares are realistic in some areas.

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