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To think I'm not a "young Mum"?

(210 Posts)
AlwaysFuckingTired94 Sun 10-Mar-19 17:39:05

Pregnant with DC1 at 22, had her at 23

Pregnant with DC2 at 23 and had her at 24.

Aibu to think this isn't young to have kids? It's definitely the average age to start a family where I grew up.

Keep getting referred to as a "young Mum" out and about, at toddler groups etc and it feels a tad patronising.

Wedgiecar58 Sun 10-Mar-19 17:56:34

I would say you are a young mum. Younger than you would be very young mum.

I will be 31 for my first and this seems to be the average for my circle.

notanothernam Sun 10-Mar-19 17:56:55

I had my children from 22, yes it's a young age to have children these days. In my case we didn't yet own a house, my career wasn't established although I appreciate some do by this age. Thankfully we got there relatively quickly but doesn't change the fact we were young parents. I'm smug now with my school aged children and the ease that brings in so many aspects of our lives as our friends start having babies lol.

Groovee Sun 10-Mar-19 17:57:04

I had my 2 at 22 and 24 and was one of the youngest mums In both year groups. But many of the mums I met and am friends with were in their 30's when having children.

However in the ward when I had Dd, I was an old mum as the youngest was 14 and the next oldest was 18.

ImNotTheDramaLlamaHere Sun 10-Mar-19 17:57:10

It's all relative. 🤷🏼‍♀️

TwoRoundabouts Sun 10-Mar-19 17:57:48

You are a young mum in my social circle, my family and even workplace as you are well under 32.

However I personally don't class you are a young mum as you are over 18. I've had and have neighbours and acquaintances who had children between 16-19.

I'm saying this as an older mother who is considered average in her social circle, workplace and family.

It's all relative. However as you are under 25 and I'm over 40 medically we are regarded as such.

Oh and I look younger than my age so I get the "Well I had my kids older than you..." hmm

thedisorganisedmum Sun 10-Mar-19 17:58:07

Too young, of course not.

"young mum", well yes, you are. It's not patronising, it's factual.

HavelockVetinari Sun 10-Mar-19 17:58:50

It massively depends on your social circle and background. Working class people are much more likely to have DC at a younger age than middle class folk.

Around where I live it's very middle class, women are generally 30+ when they have their first.

Not too far away is a very deprived city where I'd be considered ancient as a first time mum (aged 32).

It's all horses for courses, no one way is 'better'. Having DC early means you'll still be young when they leave home and can enjoy yourself, having them later means you'll most likely have a career/more money.

Ellisandra Sun 10-Mar-19 17:59:44

Yes, you’re a young mum - you were pregnant at 22!
Whatever the stats are, that’s only 2 years older than a teen mum, so if 23 isn’t a young mum, then what is?!

HeyNannyNanny Sun 10-Mar-19 17:59:49

You're a young mum.
I plan to have kids in my early thirties.
If you consider early twenties as not young, that would make early thirties old...

BabyDarlingDollfaceHoney Sun 10-Mar-19 18:00:47

You're about a decade younger than all the mums I know!

VelvetPineapple Sun 10-Mar-19 18:00:57

It is quite young. At 22 most people have recently graduated and are trying to get their careers started and save a deposit to buy a house. In many cases they haven’t met their long term partners yet. As a pp said the average age is approaching 30. Although in socio-economically deprived areas women tend to have kids younger. Aren’t education and wealth inversely correlated with maternal age too?

WhenISnappedAndFarted Sun 10-Mar-19 18:01:30

I've just turned 30 and none of my social group have children yet (we're all aged between 28-33). However looking back at a lot of people I went to school with, a lot of them have got around 3-4 children and I feel old. I think it really depends on your social circles.

HavelockVetinari Sun 10-Mar-19 18:01:50

N.B. I'm not suggesting that being a younger mum means you're working class by the way, or that all older mums are middle class. Just that you would likely be perceived differently by the two groups.

Cornettoninja Sun 10-Mar-19 18:03:01

You’re young full stop. That’s awesome and I’m jealous and haggard grin

Sigh81 Sun 10-Mar-19 18:04:07

Everyone I know started having kids in their early 30s - but surely there's nothing wrong in being referred to as a young mum? There's another current thread where a lot of mums who are older saying they envy the energy of those who have small kids in their early 20s grin

TiredTodayZzzz Sun 10-Mar-19 18:04:09

Where I'm from its not young. I had my first at 20 and most of the parents in my daughter's class (age 7) are around my age or younger. There are parents in their 30s but majority of them have older children as well. There is one who must be late 40s/early 50s and she also has adult children. I had my second just after I turned 26 so when she's at school I will probably be one of the "older parents".

Funnily enough I went to the same school (my mum had me at 25) and when I was at school my mum was one of the youngest. I guess as time has gone on people are just having babies younger. Definitely a lot of very young parents around where I'm from.

I don't mean to cause offence but I come from a poor area which probably has a lot to do with it.

Noonooyou Sun 10-Mar-19 18:04:28

Yes I'd consider it young, but definitely not in a patronising way at all! I'm 26 and most of my friends my age haven't had a child yet. More and more people are waiting until 30s these days.

LipstickforFish Sun 10-Mar-19 18:04:31

I had DD at 29 and I was the youngest in our antenatal classes so I would say you were young!

Purpleartichoke Sun 10-Mar-19 18:04:47

You are young, but not so young as to be worrisome.

In my social circle, having a child before 30 is extremely rare. I have one friend who got pregnant at 24 and that was a birth controll failure. Even though they were out of school and married, they definitely didn’t plan on having a baby so early in their careers. Of course, this is why I kept running into coworkers at the reproductive endocrinologists office. Many of us needed a little help once we finally got around to having children.

Slowknitter Sun 10-Mar-19 18:05:17

I'd consider that very young. None of my friends or relatives had dc before early 30s.

notanothernam Sun 10-Mar-19 18:06:10

@HeyNannyNanny I guess I do find early thirties "old" (using your word I would necessarily construct that as a sentence usually!) for starting a family as it's not my norm. Most people I know have at least 1 by 30 (is the average age 28/29?) I'm 31 now and just couldn't imagine starting again, I'd feel old but I appreciate that's because I've done it!!

notanothernam Sun 10-Mar-19 18:07:16

*woudnt

WithAllIntenseAndPurposes Sun 10-Mar-19 18:07:21

Well yes you are a young mum because you are young and a mum!

feelingsinister Sun 10-Mar-19 18:10:02

Where I went to school you'd be almost geriatric but among my friends now, young.

Most haven't had kids until their mid 30s.

Lazypuppy Sun 10-Mar-19 18:10:08

YABU I'd say that's pretty much the definition of a young mum...early 20's.

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