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AIBU to be upset??

(29 Posts)
Catlover93 Sun 10-Mar-19 16:03:53

Hope this won’t be too long but I need some advice as to whether or not I am right to feel upset.

Bit of background: been best friends with someone for 10+ years but have lived a 3 hour drive away from each other for past few years. Managed to keep the friendship going with messages and meeting up every couple of months.

6 months ago I got engaged so we arranged to meet, I assumed to celebrate. However when we met she didn’t mention the engagement, didn’t ask to see the ring or ask how DP proposed etc. Nothing. I was quite hurt but figured I would let it go and have a nice day.

Later in the day she mentioned the wedding and I said we were eloping and therefore only our parents would be present (literally 3 people) but we would have a party for the rest of our family and friends after the honeymoon as neither of us want a big ceremony. She didn’t take this well and we fell out for a couple of weeks as she thought she would be invited.

If we had a big wedding she would have been my maid of honour, it just happens that we are not.

Anyway, she got engaged last month and so we met up. I asked loads about the proposal, got her a gift etc (basically did the opposite of what she did when it was me). The wedding came up and she said she had everything planned already and it would be early next year. However the language she used all day about the wedding made it sound like I might not be invited.

This wouldn’t be an issue as I’m having a small wedding so would understand, except she said she was inviting 50+ people and even mentioned inviting people from work to make up the numbers.

She said the save the dates would be sent in a couple of months so I guess I’ll know for sure if I’m not invited then but ......

AIBU to be hurt that it seems like I’m not going to be invited mainly out of retaliation for my wedding??

Do you think I should ask if I am invited or wait and see if I get an invite?

If im not invited do you think I’m right to feel as though the friendship will take a hit?

Sorry that’s so long, just not sure what to feel!!

sackrifice Sun 10-Mar-19 19:01:38

However when we met she didn’t mention the engagement, didn’t ask to see the ring or ask how DP proposed etc. Nothing. I was quite hurt but figured I would let it go and have a nice day.

I have literally never asked this of anyone.

I am womaning wrong again!

TapasForTwo Sun 10-Mar-19 19:04:00

Blimey, I thought I would be in a minority of one here. I am always interested in my friends and their relationships, but not in the material trappings that go with them.

HarrysOwl Sun 10-Mar-19 19:06:13

I eloped. Must me & DH, no guests!

My friends were totally happy for me & relieved that I didn't expect them to fork out hundreds of pounds for my choice of a wedding abroad.

And there's no way any of them would NOT invite me to their weddings!

We've all got much more going on in our lives to get petty about invites; her behaviour sounds a bit 'off' to me.

marathonwomanintraining Sun 10-Mar-19 19:53:01

OP what makes you think you aren't invited to her wedding? It's really odd (and passive aggressive) for her to discuss her wedding with you in great detail if you're not invited. How sure are you that that was her intention?

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