Hi all, so quick backstory...
My boyfriend has a specific friend I really dislike. Before me and my boyfriend became serious, this friend would always get my boyfriend out, drinking every night and naturally I associate him with that. Yes I understand my boyfriend makes his own choices and wouldn't of done so unless he wanted to. However he's someone that is influenced heavily by those around him. And he cannot ever say no to this friend. This friend has been involved with drugs too (apparently not anymore) and I just think he negatively influences my other half.
Now it's not only that but I see through him. He never bothers with my partner, never makes the effort to come see him but as soon as he needs a bit of company when he's had a drink, he wants to know him. They've fallen out and my boyfriend has even said "he doesn't bother with me unless I have money or he's having a drink". And it upsets me because for some reason my boyfriend looks up to him and it bothers him hugely? Yet as soon as he wants to know my partner again, he goes running back. Which is frustrating for me.
After their fall out, I let my partner invite that friend and a couple of others round for a drink whilst I took care of my son who is 3 months. My partner had been drinking with his friends that day and I'd had baby. At midnight my boyfriend asked if he could go back to one of theirs and I said I'd prefer him to stay as baby was wide awake and I was exhausted after having him all day. He said that's fine and obviously told this friend. (He's never asked this before so obviously the friend I dislike wanted him to go out).
Later I preceded to go downstairs in my own home only to be told by this friend "just give him some space, I don't want to fall out with you but let him come". I snapped back and said "sorry but I've had the baby all day, I'm exhausted and it's half 12 not 8 in the evening. I need some help with baby". He tried to guilt trip me by saying "he loves you just give him some space, I'll just have to spend time with him another day...". Yet he never bothers, hes always welcome here. Why am I defending wanting to father of my child to help me out with our son, in my own home! I've let them drink at my home, I've made an effort with all of them whilst I've also been taking care of my son all day! I'm exhausted and I'm explaining myself? Why should I feel guilty it's almost 1, and you're guilt tripping me into feeling wrong for asking for help with baby.
Please can I have some advice because I am so wound up and I don't know how to approach this friend anymore. Am I wrong or right?
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I hate my boyfriend's friend
36 replies
targaryen1 · 10/03/2019 12:13
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