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To press charges against this parent?

(644 Posts)
Rosegarden10 Sun 10-Mar-19 08:39:11

I've name changed for this as obviously this is very outing.

On Friday, my child attended a school disco. Whilst they were at the school disco, another parent broke into the school and was banging on the hall doors to get in. When she couldnt access the hall she kicked the glass door and broke the window smashing the glass. The children and adults inside were terrified and they had to evacuate the children in an emergency lockdown procedure.

My child (and the majority of the other children) are now traumatised. My child doesnt want to go back to school tomorrow. The police arrived at the scene however it doesnt appear as though they arrested her as she the parent was on the parent WhatsApp group trying to justify her behaviour an hour after the incident.

Can I press charges against this woman for the trauma she has caused my child and the other children? I am so angry!!

BuggerOffAndGoodDayToYou Sun 10-Mar-19 18:37:18

've been waiting for someone to point out the obvious contradiction between lockdown and evacuation

At my current school, if we give the lockdown call and there are children in the hall then they are in fact evacuated from the hall into one of the classrooms in the centre of the building. This is because the hall has a lot of large windows and no furniture to hide behind / under.

Windowsareforcheaters Sun 10-Mar-19 19:00:23

@sleepalldays read the thread. That conversation has been done and sorted.

ValeurNutritive Sun 10-Mar-19 19:04:08


[re. Affray]

But that person has to be "a person of reasonable firmness" and I doubt if 100 or so 4-11 year olds would meet that test! Iirc, it also has to to take place in a public place, and I'm not sure a locked school hall would qualify either.

No one of 'reasonable firmness' need actually be present at the scene. If this woman's actions could cause a hypothetical person of reasonable firmness to fear for their safety, that element of the offence is made out.

And the offence can be committed either on public or private property.

See section 3 of the public order act.

HeckyPeck Sun 10-Mar-19 19:54:41

You should have pretended it was a crazed dad OP then you would have had very different responses!

Frecklesonmyarm Sun 10-Mar-19 19:55:56

Yeah, if it had been crazed man, no one would have spotted the huge holes in the ops story.

CJsGoldfish Sun 10-Mar-19 20:07:56

Hmmm, I want to know WHY a parent was banging on the door for so long that everyone was 'terrified' and 'traumatised'.
When she first started 'banging', I assume she was knocking. When noone heard, I can see that she'd bang louder. Why did no one check who was at the door?
Sounds like everyone over reacted.

If I had to reach my child in an emergency and there was apparently no staff around and child was locked IN a room, I'm pretty sure I'd be banging on the door as well, expecting someone to come let me in.

The children will pick up their cues from the adults and if there are a bunch of over dramatic parents feeding off each other and making a huge deal over this I cannot imagine what it's doing to the children.

Was this a 'silent disco' btw?

7Pip Sun 10-Mar-19 20:31:08

Glad to hear you've had communication from the school OP. If you don't know exactly what went on, what happened, what 'went down' as such, it's going to be hard to console a little one.
You can just tell them that the silly woman is gone to jail (sorry, but that's what I'd tell mine!). Ok, maybe say that she was just being angry, it was not acceptable and the police have told her off! (Even young children understand what unacceptable is and what a telling off is. Mine also know what time out is. Second parenting fail! grin )

I'm sorry that people seemed so annoyed with you OP. I have no idea why exactly. You don't hit any of the 'annoying' tickboxes for me. I can only assume that they hadn't had coffee and it spiralled.

I'm happy the school has communicated. Rest assured, that everything happened as it should have, the school should be commended for their actions. I know your gripe is with this woman for scaring your child a a kids disco. I hope it's dealt with appropriately.

Bluntness100 Sun 10-Mar-19 20:57:02

You can just tell them that the silly woman is gone to jail

Are you drunk? You do grasp its one of the school mums, so they will see thr kid and know she's not went to jail and likely see rhe mum too at pick up time ,

Are you so drunk you're now raving that you'd tell your kid a lie that would be disproven the very next day? I mean seriously?

ValeurNutritive Sun 10-Mar-19 21:12:58

You should have pretended it was a crazed dad OP then you would have had very different responses!
This. And unfortunately we've had a few too many of mumsnet's amateur detectives and legal advisors. Hope you get some clarity tomorrow OP.

furrybadger Sun 10-Mar-19 21:18:55

Wow hmm 🤦🏽‍♀️

anniehm Sun 10-Mar-19 21:24:28

As the police knew who she was and ascertained she wasn't a threat they would not arrest but that doesn't mean she won't be charged. It's up to the cps to decide if there's sufficient evidence, if the school wishes to pursue (as they had the monetary loss) and whether it's worth the courts time - in property matters it's actually common for charges to be set aside if repairs are paid for.

Frecklesonmyarm Sun 10-Mar-19 21:32:57

As the police knew who she was and ascertained she wasn't a threat they would not arrest but that doesn't mean she won't be charged

Yes she would have if the school initiated lockdown and evacuation. Because it would have been treated as a major incident.

And apparently there were threats to kill.

7Pip Sun 10-Mar-19 21:54:59

Well Freckles, you seem to know more than the Mum in this case!

Mmmhmmm Sun 10-Mar-19 23:37:15

If the woman really did make death threats and break into the school then I'm also shocked she wasn't arrested. If it played out that way, then she should be charged for several things.

It's really the tone of the OP throughout most of her posts that has garnered the mocking comments. Sorry OP but you come across as a bit of a drama llama.

But just because someone is a natural drama queen doesn't mean they can't sometimes be faced/involved (even loosely) with a serious problem or crisis IRL.

I should know since my Mother is a natural drama queen, but she did really almost die in labour, she was once briefly kidnapped, she was traumatised from finding her father dead...BUT she can still make a mere coincidence like 2 friends getting credit card fraud after shopping at the same store into a conspiracy theory about how her BFF is mad at her and has a friend that works at the store so it's obvs about my Mother really. hmm True fucking story. 🙊🙈

ballsdeep Sun 10-Mar-19 23:40:25

Am I the only one wondering if it was a silent disco?! How on earth anyone can hear external banging and shouting through a disco is beyond me 😂

Beeziekn33ze Mon 11-Mar-19 00:04:53

Buggeroff - Yes, I assumed the children were evacuated from the hall then put into lockdown elsewhere.

Pip - Yes, one dinnertime. About 300 children 7-11 out playing. A van approached at speed, stopped outside the school and there was lots of shouting. Several men in black were leaping out with long bags and jumping over garden walls. One ran into the playground and shouted 'Armed police, get the children indoors.' So we blew whistles, told the children to go straight to their classrooms then locked the outside doors.
The police were looking for people who'd just done an armed robbery.
They left after about 20 minutes. I don't remember any upset children. We just all knew that we had to get inside.

ScarletBitch Mon 11-Mar-19 00:09:38

If the Police spoke to her and no arrests were made, then no law has been broken.

Yes the Children were scared, but OP you are crazy if you think you can press charges.
You have been nothing but rude to all on this thread. Stop being such a drama queen and get a grip.

Tomorrowillbeachicken Mon 11-Mar-19 00:16:10

You can’t press charges but I’d be asking the governors whether safe guarding is good if someone can break in so easily

aurynne Mon 11-Mar-19 00:20:51

I think both you and your DCs could benefit from learning the difference between "scary" and "traumatising". Otherwise you will be raising an extremely emotionally vulnerable person who will be open to severe trauma repeatedly during her life.

Thesnobbymiddleclassone Mon 11-Mar-19 00:24:18

You've jumped from angry parent to terrorist attack in a few updates.

Jesus a parent kicked off and the kids got a bit scared in the heat of the moment, hardly the crime of the century.

Send your child to school tomorrow as normal and after a couple of days they'll be fine.

As for pressing charges, what exactly are you pressing charges against? No crime has been committed against you.

AhoyDelBoy Mon 11-Mar-19 00:41:51

Honestly @Rosegarden10 your last update makes you sound like a child running off to tell tales to Mummy. I’m tellllllllllinnngggggg onnnnn youuuuuuu. It’s hilarious.

LaBelleSauvage Mon 11-Mar-19 01:46:54

Does anyone else feel like OP is banging the door and breaking the glass of what is... figuratively ... the school disco of mumsnet?

UterusUterusGhali Mon 11-Mar-19 01:57:44

She must be very unwell. Is she getting help?
I imagine the teachers are desperately trying to reach safeguarding help on a weekend (near on impossible ime)

Is her child safe?

BadLad Mon 11-Mar-19 03:37:50

I'd like to think if there was a crazed angry woman breaking through windows and threatening to kill someone, that I wouldn't just offer her tea and cake!

Nah, that would call for a cream egg.

BadLad Mon 11-Mar-19 03:45:30

If it helps, me and my lovely dp are at my best friends. Having a get together, while discussing this thread and having a chuckle.

Really? You're at your best friend's house, with your DP, and you're having an argument on mumsnet?

HappilyHarridan Mon 11-Mar-19 04:03:44

Op of you had just asked for advice on how you can support your daughter and help her to process this you would have had very different responses. It was leaping straight to ‘pressing charges’ that set the tone for the thread as it sounded like your focus was on taking out a court case which isn’t necessarily a brilliant idea.

aurynne Mon 11-Mar-19 04:14:38

"If it helps, me and my lovely dp are at my best friends. Having a get together, while discussing this thread and having a chuckle."

Yep, we're all having a chuckle here too grin

Frecklesonmyarm Mon 11-Mar-19 05:04:54

Really? You're at your best friend's house, with your DP, and you're having an argument on mumsnet?

Yep. They love mumsnet too. We often look at the threads. grin

If kids or adults are evacuated, they are evacuated. They wouldn't be put in lock down outside and if a school initiates lock down, parents cant just turn up and pick their kids up.

StillCoughingandLaughing Mon 11-Mar-19 08:45:48

Likely reasons this woman wasn’t arrested:

1) The incident wasn’t quite as serious as Chinese whispers and the penchant of pre-teens for drama have rendered it. ‘She was banging on the glass’ quickly becomes ‘She was trying to break the glass’ and then ‘She broke the glass’.

2) The school or Head doesn’t want to pursue it and just asked the police to get her off the premises. It would still ultimately be up to the attending officers to decide if they want to make an arrest, but it costs time and money - if the school isn’t looking to pursue it, an arrest is probably a waste of both.

3) She wasn’t immediately arrested, but the police have requested she attend an interview at a later date.

Unlikely reasons:

1) She was a genuine threat and serious about killing the Head, but the police didn’t give a shit.

2) She’s married to a copper 🙄 (a particularly ridiculous suggestion from 7Pips).

clairemcnam Mon 11-Mar-19 09:10:21

I think it would also perhaps have been different if OP had shared what the mum said actually happened.

TheGirlWithAllTheFeathers Mon 11-Mar-19 10:07:41

No you can't. I'm trying to think how my class would have responded to this situation when I was a kid. I think we'd have been faux shocked and then giggled the hell out of it. Why are you acting shocked and appalled and encouraging the 'trauma'? Laugh with your child at the silly woman's behaviour and show her how stupid someone looks when they lose their temper in public like that. It's certainly not something that should cause long-term trauma or shock.

Saoirse1 Mon 11-Mar-19 14:13:38

This thread has been a great read i must say 😂

Yesicancancan Mon 11-Mar-19 14:17:53

Save the receipts from your daughters counselling sessions, usually about £45 per hour and then go to the county court, it’s not too expensive to make a small claim proceedings. wink

Quartz2208 Mon 11-Mar-19 18:16:03

Yesicancan I assume you are joking because who would she make the claim against

iklboo Tue 12-Mar-19 17:36:03

What was the result of the school meeting?

Huntress2020 Tue 12-Mar-19 18:05:59

Stuff like this is probably why the Police are going under. A desire to press charges for emotional upset hmmHappily I suspect this won't be coming into law as an offence any time soon.

Takethebuscuitandthesink Wed 13-Mar-19 07:35:56

Any update then op?

nolongersurprised Wed 13-Mar-19 11:04:43

I remember watching a TV show on stunts highlighting that some stuff that happens on TV all the time - like kicking in doors and glass shattering on imapact don’t actually happen in reality.

Did she really kick in a glass door, just with her feet? Was she wearing workman’s boots with steel caps?

stressedbeyond123 Wed 13-Mar-19 12:19:23

To be honest i'm with OP here - not with the pressing charges, as there's no such thing.

If my daughter was at a school disco and something like this happened, i know she would be scared, and rightly so, i'm an adult and it would scare me.

More than anything I would want to know what the school and police are doing about this to ensure the mother doesn't do it again. Lets be fair, to kick off like she did at a school disco, she clearly has some issues.

Speak to the school @RoseGarden10 and see what they say, then take it from there. I would imagine there are a few parents who are not happy with what happened.

PregnantSea Wed 13-Mar-19 12:38:24

No. Sounds like what happened was pretty crazy but it's probably best to just move on from it. I'm sure your DC will be fine.

Takethebuscuitandthesink Sat 04-May-19 00:02:00

So what happened in the end op?

LadyRannaldini Sat 04-May-19 02:56:42

You clearly don't understand the word 'traumatised', they're probably a bit upset, it'll be looked on as an adventure and one to tell their friends about soon. Children are often more effected by the over-reaction of parents than the event.

GinDaddy Sat 04-May-19 20:12:07

Have just read this thread and if I was the OP, I would have zero inclination to reply to this thread and update.

Prequelle Sat 04-May-19 20:14:31

When I was a kid we would have all found this terribly exciting and it would have been the focus of our playground roleplay games for the next month

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