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To press charges against this parent?

(644 Posts)
Rosegarden10 Sun 10-Mar-19 08:39:11

I've name changed for this as obviously this is very outing.

On Friday, my child attended a school disco. Whilst they were at the school disco, another parent broke into the school and was banging on the hall doors to get in. When she couldnt access the hall she kicked the glass door and broke the window smashing the glass. The children and adults inside were terrified and they had to evacuate the children in an emergency lockdown procedure.

My child (and the majority of the other children) are now traumatised. My child doesnt want to go back to school tomorrow. The police arrived at the scene however it doesnt appear as though they arrested her as she the parent was on the parent WhatsApp group trying to justify her behaviour an hour after the incident.

Can I press charges against this woman for the trauma she has caused my child and the other children? I am so angry!!

Frecklesonmyarm Sun 10-Mar-19 08:51:06

If she was in reception shouting and swearing why didn't someone go deal with her?

A school, that correctly has locked doors, had glass that a person can kick in?

What's the point in that? If someone had a weapon, they would get in easily. Very odd that glass isn't reinforced.

Something is very odd in all this.

Rosegarden10 Sun 10-Mar-19 08:51:22

Wow. Fuelling drama? Try explain that to a hall full of children who thought thay they were being subject to a terrorist attack and who all came out crying when their parents arrived. Now I know why I don't post on mumsnet often!

Barrenfieldoffucks Sun 10-Mar-19 08:51:41

And what was she likely to be armed with? Does she have mental health issues? I would expect the school to deal with this firmly, but there isn't anything for you to do.

LovingLola Sun 10-Mar-19 08:52:00

Were the doors to the hall locked?? If that is correct surely that is a breach of fire safety regulations??? I would raise that with the school.

I’m sure the school will do its best to reassure the children about the crazy lady

Barrenfieldoffucks Sun 10-Mar-19 08:52:18

Could they not see her through the glass?

Frecklesonmyarm Sun 10-Mar-19 08:52:19

They all thought it was a terrorist attack?

Really? When they could see it was a parent?

JacquesHammer Sun 10-Mar-19 08:52:41

Try explain that to a hall full of children who thought thay they were being subject to a terrorist attack and who all came out crying when their parents arrived

But isn’t it your job to reassure them?

Windowsareforcheaters Sun 10-Mar-19 08:53:47

A parent screaming and causing criminal damage would be very alarming to staff.

The staff had to assume she was potentially armed (knife or a gun) staff had to act to protect the children from a possible attack. The staff would take this very, very seriously and the children would have been scared.

Remember Lisa Potts who died protecting children from an attacker with an axe? Staff would absolutely have been alarmed this would have been transmitted to the children.

SillyMoomin Sun 10-Mar-19 08:54:10

Oh god you’re THAT parent

Calm down

IceRebel Sun 10-Mar-19 08:54:23

who thought thay they were being subject to a terrorist attack

I think your language about this incident is making it more of a traumatic event than it really was.

A woman banged on a glass door and it smashed. There's no need to throw around words like "armed" and "terrorist"

animaniac Sun 10-Mar-19 08:54:35

Struggling to understand why on earth the doors were locked in the first place - apart from anything else, it is a major fire hazard to have the main exit point locked. The school should know this.

FullOfJellyBeans Sun 10-Mar-19 08:54:41

I imagine it was stressful at the time but I agree you need to help your DC realise that it's over, they're safe and it won't happen again. Pressing charges is impossible and won't help your child. It will just drag the whole thing out. This woman obviously has issues, I wouldn't want her around my kids but no you can't press charges.

CountessVonBoobs Sun 10-Mar-19 08:54:43

You thought this angry parent had a gun? Come on.

You're being ridiculous. And as PPs have said, you can't "press charges" because a) that isn't a thing b) no crime has been committed against you.

SummerHouse Sun 10-Mar-19 08:54:51

They don't arrest these days unless they have to. They are more likely to ask her to attend voluntarily for interview. From there it will be a cps / police decision to charge or they might go for community resolution if she admits, is sorry and agrees some act to make amends.

Frecklesonmyarm Sun 10-Mar-19 08:55:00

If you really HAVE to do something, you could in theory, sue her. You need to find a solicitor willing to take it on.

But it will take a long time and in a few weeks when everyone else has moved on, you will be known as the parents that is suing x over that incident months ago and it will back fire on you and possibly your child.

FamilyOfAliens Sun 10-Mar-19 08:55:20

If I were you I’d be saying along the lines of “yes it was scary but didn’t your teachers do a great job keeping you safe?”


SileneOliveira Sun 10-Mar-19 08:56:26

I'm surprised the doors were locked because it just seems odd that people weren't free to come and go as they wanted.

Since Dunblane it has been standard practice to have school doors locked. All schools I've been at you have to be buzzed in. For obvious reasons.

It does sound like a scary experience and the mother sounds a bit unhinged. But as others have said you can't "press charges" that has to be a decision for the Police and the CPS or Procurator Fiscal.

FudgeBrownie2019 Sun 10-Mar-19 08:57:41

So you think every parent of every child at that event should be able to press charges against this woman? How would that work? What crime did she commit against the children?

I'm not undermining the fact that she scared them and left them in a position where their parents will have to deal with the emotional fall out. But that's your role a a parent, to deal with traumatic events and help your child find a way through them. It's awful, absolutely, but it's also your job now.

onalongsabbatical Sun 10-Mar-19 08:57:44

Are you in the US, OP? Because it really does make a difference to your assumptions.

MemorylikeDory Sun 10-Mar-19 08:58:00

People keep asking why the doors were locked. Gaining access to school premises is normally done so through secured doors. They are locked needing a fob/code to get in but able to be opened from the inside so people can indeed leave freely.

I can imagine it was a very scary time for the supervising staff and parents and for the children at the time. It's the not knowing what that person, who is unstable enough to be breaking glass to gain access, will do if they managed to get it. Not a position I would like to be in when in charge of and looking after other people's children.

PersonaNonGarter Sun 10-Mar-19 08:58:13

You don’t understand. YOU can’t ‘press charges’.

If you or your child were actually injured or disadvantaged you could start a civil case for damages.

CountessVonBoobs Sun 10-Mar-19 08:58:23

If you really HAVE to do something, you could in theory, sue her. You need to find a solicitor willing to take it on.

You'd have to pay the fees yourself, mind, because no solicitor is going to take a "no win no fee" case against a private individual, and even assuming you don't get laughed out of court and actually win, she undoubtedly has fuck-all money to pay you. So you'd be massively out of pocket and no doubt compound the trauma of what didn't need to be a big thing in the first place. Sounds like an excellent plan, no?

Birdsgottafly Sun 10-Mar-19 08:58:54

OP, you are within your right to ask the Head to reassure you that there is now safeguards in place regarding this Parent.

I understand your point, if this happened at home, you would be arrested amd SS involved.

I'm sure the School will be in contact with other Services.

Children shouldn't be subjected to this. But use it as a lesson in calling the Police and appropriate behaviour.

Also explain that they were never in danger because no-one could get in, even though the window broke.

Rather than fuel the fear.

CherryPavlova Sun 10-Mar-19 08:59:13

Mmmmnnn A really interesting one as not in the UK so hard to know legislative framework for your country.
Luckily, in the U.K. school glazing is covered by regulation and quite difficult to break nowadays.

The guidance for U.K. schools is covered by;
Workplace (Health, Safety and Welfare) Regulations 1992 (amended)
Building Regulations.
British Standard BS 6206: Impact performance requirements for flat safety glass and safety plastics for use in buildings
British Standard BS 952: Glass for Glazing

Frecklesonmyarm Sun 10-Mar-19 08:59:22

Since Dunblane it has been standard practice to have school doors locked. All schools I've been at you have to be buzzed in. For obvious reasons.

With re enforced glass on the doors? Because normal glass would be pointless, against someone with a gun.

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