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AIBU?

To think school should have phoned me to let me know we had been hurt?

39 replies

SatsumaFan · 09/03/2019 22:57

Just want some perspective really, as it's the first time something like this has happened.

Ds is 8 and moved up to Juniors (different school as that's how it works where we are in the UK) last Sept. He loved Infants and thrived there, good reports, very bright and no trouble at all.

Yesterday he came out of school upset and said a group of Yr4 boys had set upon him at play time, pushed him to the ground so hard he hit his head on the concrete, causing him to cry (he's usually a tough one and doesn't cry), have head pain and the inside of his cheek was bleeding where his teeth cut into it on impact. He was also kicked and punched Sad

He was helped to the medical room by two other Yr3 friends where he was given a quick look over before being told "can't see any scratches so you're fine, off you go".

He still had a headache hours later. I wasn't informed of any of this so was livid! Phoned the school on the way home and lodged a complaint with the Secretary, who will pass it on to the Head.

AIBU to think they should have called? Or spoken to me when I collected ds? Or am I just being a snowflake?!

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SneakyGremlins · 09/03/2019 23:00

YANBU

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SneakyGremlins · 09/03/2019 23:00

Oops, posted too soon.

What if he had concussion? No scratches doesn't mean no injury.

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Sexnotgender · 09/03/2019 23:02

YANBU, you should have been notified in my opinion.

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AtSea1979 · 09/03/2019 23:04

Don’t usually get a phone call. But a letter home in book bag and a sticker on jumper.

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totallyrandom · 09/03/2019 23:05

In our school head injury gets a “bumped my head” sticker so the parents know to look out for concussion. If your DS told the school what happened, I would have expected the teacher to tell me about the incident and that they were disciplining the other boys. Where you there at pickup?

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TriciaH87 · 09/03/2019 23:08

They have a legal obligation to contact you if a child hits their head especially if claim to have headache after due to risk of concussion. My son was bumped into Monday at 2.45 and finish school at 3.15. They still called to tell me and sent a slip home. He still has a black eye as the girl bumped him hard. Do not leave it as a phone call put your concern in writing as they have to show these to ofsted and show relevant improvements made. It will show they did not follow procedure and the head will have to act not just brush it under the carpet.

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SatsumaFan · 09/03/2019 23:11

Thanks for the replies. Yes I was there at pick up, always am.

I'll see if the Head contacts me on Monday but if not maybe I should send an email?

Ds said apparently the staff are going to look at CCTV, but I'm just concerned that there were no staff on duty to see it? Apparently there was one MDSA present but in the words of 8yo Yr3 ds "no one respects her or listens to her".

I just would have liked to have known he'd been to the medical room, was ok, and that the matter was being looked into.

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RainbowCake · 09/03/2019 23:16

YANBU, our school phone home for every bumped head even if the child seems fine and is happy as Larry. It's explained to parents what has happened, whether there is a bump or not, how the child is on themselves etc...
Staff always check on said child at regular intervals, just a quick "how you feeling now?"
The member of staff that dealt with your son needs re training!

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FamilyOfAliens · 09/03/2019 23:22

I’m confused - he had his head pushed against concrete, was punched and kicked but had no scratches? How could that be?

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SatsumaFan · 09/03/2019 23:22

@RainbowCake at his old school, the infants, I'd always get a call to say he's ok but has had a bit of a bump (if he'd walked into a wall or banged heads or something innocent).

This school is known for being a bit rough so now I'm worried Sad I said to him recently you don't seem to enjoy that school very much and he said something like no but don't move me cos I'd miss all my friends. I couldn't move him anyway as all the local schools are full!

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SatsumaFan · 09/03/2019 23:24

@FamilyOfAliens all I've got is his word, which I know cannot be taken as gospel. He said 3 x boys came over when he was playing football and shoved and pushed him over, then kicked him and maybe punched him (He had his coat on and was on the ground with his eyes closed).

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Beeziekn33ze · 09/03/2019 23:29

YANBU he should have had a note for you and it would have been sensible to have a member of staff speak to you a pick up. Did your son tell the teacher he had after the incident how he was feeling? The quick brush off in the medical room sounds unprofessional, who did your son see there?
If an incident like that is not spotted by or reported to the person on playground duty maybe more than one adult should be out there.

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SatsumaFan · 09/03/2019 23:37

There are 240 children in the school (approx) and according to DS only one or two members of staff were there, in that part of the playground at the time? He named the lady in the playground, a TA who he saw and then another member of staff in the medical room. The boys who did it are well known for being rough and the Secretary did go "oh right...." when I mentioned their names on the phone.

He had a headache all evening, tho turned down the offer of Calpol so couldn't be that bad (he's like his Dad in that he hates taking meds).

Thanks for the opinions and advice - really helpful as it's the first time I've had to deal with something like this (and will hopefully be the last!).

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GruciusMalfoy · 09/03/2019 23:42

YANBU, any head bump at my children's school gets a quick call to a parent to explain. It should have been dealt with better.

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FamilyOfAliens · 09/03/2019 23:44

The boys who did it are well known for being rough and the Secretary did go "oh right...." when I mentioned their names on the phone.

How shockingly unprofessional of her.

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RedHatsDoNotSuitMe · 09/03/2019 23:53

CCTV in a primary school playground?????? Never heard of that before.

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AwdBovril · 10/03/2019 00:01

Apparently my DD's primary school has CCTV in the playground & covering all entrance points. I actually find the thought of it reassuring. I don't think they have it inside though, except for the external doorway areas.

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SandyY2K · 10/03/2019 00:02

I always put complaints like this in writing. I know the school would rather not have it in writing, because then there's a written record and it relates to health and safety.

They absolutely should have informed you about it.

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Yubaba · 10/03/2019 00:06

My dc school has cctv too, it covers the ks1 playground but not the ks2.
They fitted it because the school was burgled and they stole all the computers, the entrance to the school is on the ks1 side hence the cctv.

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C0untDucku1a · 10/03/2019 00:06

This is appalling, letter to the governors. See the head first thing monday. There doesnt aound to be adequately supervised either

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Bowerbird5 · 10/03/2019 00:12

We’ve had it for more than ten years.

He should have been given a ‘bump head note’ and you should have been informed after school at the very least. If it was morning break you should been informed by phone and he should have been checked regularly throughout the day. We normally have three staff out on duty but if there is an incident sometimes two need to take the child/ren in.

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clairemcnam · 10/03/2019 00:17

You need to check that he did actually tell them he had banged his head on the playground floor. He will have been upset and may not have given the full picture. So of he said x and y pushed me over, I fell on the floor and they kicked and punched me - then it may be nobody realised that he had banged his head.

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Sorrywhat · 10/03/2019 08:45

Why can’t you take his word as ‘gospel’? He’s your son, if you don’t have his back then who is going to?

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Sorrywhat · 10/03/2019 08:47

And for what it is worth, you are definitely not wrong to be livid. A head injury can be very serious. I’d definitely be making sure the school follow through with an investigation of such and put better measures in place to avoid such bad conduct on their part; both for the lack of staff on playground and lack of duty of care.

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BarbarianMum · 10/03/2019 08:50

In that situation Id have expected to get a "bumped head" note and for the teacher to have had a word at the end of the day. I would not have expected them to phone me during the day.

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