My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

AIBU?

To ask if your partner or sibling comes first?

250 replies

Seabrook15 · 09/03/2019 16:30

I know this depends on circumstances and relationships, but in general, I am wondering what the majority answers! I am in a bit of a situation that although I don't have to "pick" between the 2, it also kind of is. Just wondering, if asked that question, what you'd answer?

OP posts:
Report
TapasForTwo · 09/03/2019 16:34

Partner

Report
workinprogressmum · 09/03/2019 16:35

Partner

Report
blueskiesovertheforest · 09/03/2019 16:35

Spouse. Which IMO is as it should be in a relationship you've made a lifetime commitment to.

It depends what you mean by partner though - on/ off boyfriend of 10 months standing or the adult with whom you form a household, probably share finances, possibly are raising children with, and have been with for years and years?

Report
HK20 · 09/03/2019 16:35

Partner for me too

Report
hairypaws · 09/03/2019 16:36

Definitely my partner. We have made vows together and don't take them lightly.

Report
grinningcheshirecat · 09/03/2019 16:36

Partner.

Report
BreastSideStory · 09/03/2019 16:37

My DP comes before everyone else in my life except for my DC, and even then I would put him first in some circumstances.

Report
twoshedsjackson · 09/03/2019 16:40

You chose your partner; you share DNA with your sibling. without having had any choice in the matter, although with any luck you have a close, affectionate relationship.
But as blueskiesovertheforest says, it may depend how longstanding the partnership is, and how close the sibling links have remained once you are adults.

Report
Ragwort · 09/03/2019 16:42

Surely it depends on the situation, why should you have to ‘pick’ one or the other? If my DH decided he didn’t like my sibling & asked me to go NC with him I wouldn’t agree to that, but it wouldn’t be ‘picking’ one over the other Confused. Can you give an idea of what the situation is?

Report
DramaAlpaca · 09/03/2019 16:43

My DH before my sibling.

Report
LL83 · 09/03/2019 16:44

Whoever is in the right if something serious. General spat I would stay out of it and in private tell them both it's important to me that they resolve it.

Report
ILiveInSalemsLot · 09/03/2019 16:44

That’s tough for me as I’m very close to my siblings. Thankfully I’ve never had to chose between them but it would depend what it is.

Report
museumum · 09/03/2019 16:44

Husband. No doubt. He’s earned my love and care. My brother never has.

Report
picklemepopcorn · 09/03/2019 16:45

Depends on who is being unreasonable. Generally speaking, partner. If partner has done something outrageous or you relationship is on the rocks anyway, then sibling.

Sibling relationship is the longest you will have in your whole life.

Report
LaurenOrdering · 09/03/2019 16:47

It very much depends on the situation & the seriousness of it.

Report
Mmmhmmm · 09/03/2019 16:48

Husband

Report
DroningOn · 09/03/2019 16:52

Spouse.

Report
Missingstreetlife · 09/03/2019 17:05

Why?

Report
ZeldaPrincessOfHyrule · 09/03/2019 17:06

It massively depends on the situation.

Report
Albamahanna · 09/03/2019 17:07

Depends on situation. But for most situations, partner would come first and would expect my sibling to think the same.

Report
MyDcAreMarvel · 09/03/2019 17:07

Husband but I love my sisters.

Report
Nanna50 · 09/03/2019 17:08

Depends on the situation, who needs me the most at that time, although I would expect either one to understand and support me in my decision.

It depends on the context and consequences really.

Report

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

Panda117 · 09/03/2019 17:08

Whoever isn’t forcing me to pick. Hugely depends on the situation, bu5 wouldn’t automatically be partner.

Report
2birds1stone · 09/03/2019 17:08

Husband

Report
HerRoyalFattyness · 09/03/2019 17:09

Depends entirely on the situation ans which sibling to be honest Grin

My baby brother comes first. I raised him pretty much as my own when my mum went on a complete rampage and lost her mind. So he's like my own kid and very much like an older brother to my children rather than an uncle, even though my mum sorted herself out and we have a brilliant relationship with her now.

The other 2 brothers who are closer in age to me and I'd pick my partner.

Report
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.