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To ask you for a child-friendly joke?

(132 Posts)
Stickladylove88 Sat 09-Mar-19 14:35:06

Dd has to bring a joke in for Comic Relief and I don't know any good clean ones that Primary kids would understand! Does anyone have any suggestions?

GrainOfSalt Sat 09-Mar-19 14:36:26

what's brown and sticky?

sweetcheeksmahoaney Sat 09-Mar-19 14:37:43

what did the skeletkn say at lunch?
"bone"appetite

ButterflyWitch Sat 09-Mar-19 14:37:59

Knock knock
Who’s there?
Ididap
Ididap who?
Urgh....... ( I did a poo) grin

NannyRed Sat 09-Mar-19 14:38:39

What do you call a Scottish cloakroom attendant?



Angus McOatup.

DelurkingAJ Sat 09-Mar-19 14:38:40

What do you get if you pour hot water down a rabbit hole?
Hot cross bunnies

What do you get if you cross a sheep and a kangaroo?
Woolly jumpers

What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?
Great if holes all over Australia

Where do you weigh a whale?
At a whaleweigh station

DelurkingAJ Sat 09-Mar-19 14:39:19

Great BIG holes

Kolo Sat 09-Mar-19 14:39:53

What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?

A carrot.

Brown and sticky is my fave joke ever.

Where do you go to get pies weighed?
Somewhere over the rainbow, weigh a pie..

ShannonRockallMalin Sat 09-Mar-19 14:39:59

What did the shy pebble say?
I wish a was a little boulder.

TheBabyAteMyBrain Sat 09-Mar-19 14:40:30

Why has a giraffe got such a long neck?
Because his feet smell.

What's the difference between a post box and an elephant?
(Dunno)
I won't ask you to post a letter then!

Pascha Sat 09-Mar-19 14:43:00

What do ghosties use to wash their hair?
ShamBOO!

Knock knock
Who's there?
Europe
Europe who?
No you're a poo!

How many elephants can you get in a mini?
Four - two in the back and two in the front.

Nautiloid Sat 09-Mar-19 14:43:08

How do you get 100 Pikachus on a bus?

Poke em on.

MerlinsScarf Sat 09-Mar-19 14:46:01

Why did the starfish run away? Because the sea weed.

FreezerBird Sat 09-Mar-19 14:48:17

Q: What do you call two thieves?
A: A pair of knickers!

Q: What do you call a fly with no wings?
A: A walk!

Q: What do you get if you dial 666?
A: An upside down policeman!

(This last went down well in a Sunday school talent show but might not transfer)

Spudlet Sat 09-Mar-19 14:55:27

What do you call a man with a spade on his head?

DOUG!

What do you call a man with a seagull on his head?

CLIFF!

Spudlet Sat 09-Mar-19 14:57:24

What goes black white black white black white?

A penguin rolling down a hill!

Rubytinsleslippers Sat 09-Mar-19 14:57:33

What do you call a mass without a spade on his head?
Douglas

What do you call a man with a paper bag on his head ?
Russel

redexpat Sat 09-Mar-19 14:58:53

Did you hear about the magic tractor? It went down the lane and turned into a field.

Haveacupofcoffee Sat 09-Mar-19 15:00:26

How did tigger get his head stuck down the toilet?

He was looking for Pooh.

How do you get into hogwarts?

Through the Dumbledore.

GoldenFlaps Sat 09-Mar-19 15:02:27

Where do you weigh a pie?

Somewhere over the rainbow.

GoldenFlaps Sat 09-Mar-19 15:02:59

Bugger, sorry, should have RTFT first.

Tinty Sat 09-Mar-19 15:04:08

What is red and smells like blue paint?

Red paint grin

Shockers Sat 09-Mar-19 15:05:32

How do you make Lady Gaga really Cross?

Poke her face.

Sargass0 Sat 09-Mar-19 15:06:45

What will Postman Pat be called when he retires?

Pat!

mimibunz Sat 09-Mar-19 15:07:16

What did one snowman say to the other?

Do you smell carrots?

My nephew told me that one when he was about 8 years old.

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