I’ve NC for this as I post a lot and am very candid and this post is going to be very recognisable. This is going to be very long but I think the history is necessary so if you have the time I’d really appreciate any advice.
I have a friend of 12 years. She’s someone I’ve become close to over the years and she’s been a really good friend.
When I met her she was married. We got to know her husband and became friends with him too and we (her, her DH, me, my DH) used to socialise a lot together.
We also were all part of a bigger friendship group who met through a hobby - we were largely a fairly young group, no kids, hard drinking, lots of going out etc.
After about 5 years she cheated on her husband. She told him immediately, they split up, she and the OM became serious and started a proper relationship. OM was part of the wider friendship group.
I told her that whilst I thought what she did was terrible and couldn’t condone it I was her friend, I was also her husband’s friend, I hoped she didn’t regret things and hoped they’d all be ok.
Fast forward 6 years. She married OM nearly a year ago, her EXH is with someone else, she and I have become really close, I was her MoH.
She messages me about 3 months after the wedding telling me her DH has moved out because he found intimate messages between her and a supposed mutual friend, we’ll call him WH (wankhead).
I told her she was an idiot, helped her through her crisis etc but again, never condoned the cheating but I admit to feeling really angry with her.
WH is a shit - he had a 3 month old baby when he cheated, he’s told my friend he was tricked into having the baby and he never liked his partner enough.
I told my friend that she’s daft for going near a bloke like this and that I think he’s awful and manipulative.
Life’s been largely calm for the last 6 months, she’s trying to repair her life, her DH moved out, she’s found a new place and we see each other reasonably frequently.
I found out yesterday she’s seeing WH - he’s told her he loves her and a whole load of other shit.
I feel really disappointed in her and I don’t want anything to do with her. I’m so upset she can’t see what a shit he is and that she’d be so stupid to do this.
AIBU to withdraw from this friendship? She’s distraught about how angry I am (obviously I told her) but I’m not sure I can get past it.
Any advice? I lead a very drama-free life and that’s how I like it - my marriage is settled, I have a safe process job as does my DH - I only say this to emphasise I’m not enjoying the drama - I’m really at a loss about how to go forward.
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
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AIBU?
to end/withdraw from this friendship?
73 replies
Whydoesshedoitffs · 09/03/2019 07:54
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TitsAndTomatoes ·
09/03/2019 09:46
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