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AIBU?

To worry about stick thin D'S who just doesn't want to eat much and never has

30 replies

AuntieMeemz · 09/03/2019 07:42

Dr says he is underweight but I knew that. Have tried every good under the sun. He is not a fussy eater - oysters,squid,octopus he actually chooses to eat on holiday! (No one else in the family could face them). At home he is only interested in orange juice and processed food. I cook organic food mostly only to find he has stuffed his face with the 'treats\snacks.

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InDubiousBattle · 09/03/2019 07:47

How old is he?

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AuntieMeemz · 09/03/2019 07:53

He's 14.

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AuntieMeemz · 09/03/2019 07:54

And nearly 6ft tall!

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lljkk · 09/03/2019 07:55

how old? what height & weight?

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LeekMunchingSheepShagger · 09/03/2019 07:55

I think if he's underweight you need to let him eat what he wants until he puts some weight on, even if that means processed food.

Does he get any input into what you cook?

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Jackshouse · 09/03/2019 07:56

He needs more calories and fat as well as fruit and veg. Home made pizza, peanut butter and banana sandwiches and creamy pasta.

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LL83 · 09/03/2019 07:56

Is he growing? And does he have energy?
If so I wouldn't worry too much.

I work on limiting the snacking so he eats is dinner though.

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RandomMess · 09/03/2019 07:56

Don't have snacks/treats in the house so although he can still buy them at school etc at home he will have to make the effort to eat something more substantial.

I would write up a list of easy snacks, mine devour toasties made in a panini press, fresh pasta and sauce, mackerel in tomato on toast with cheddar cheese grated on top and so on.

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VelvetPineapple · 09/03/2019 07:57

Stop buying the treats and snacks if he can’t control himself. Healthy food only. You’re enabling his greed.

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AuntieMeemz · 09/03/2019 08:06

Leek - yes, he gets to choose meals but really isn't interested. He also is asked to help cook but can barely spare time away from his computer. He is asked to join in with shopping and choosing, but doesn't want to spare the time!

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HeyNannyNanny · 09/03/2019 08:07

Where is he getting the snacks from?

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AuntieMeemz · 09/03/2019 08:07

Jack's- thanks for reminding me about home made pizza, need to start doing that again.

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ohmywhattodo · 09/03/2019 08:08

I had an eating disorder as a teen and needed to gain weight. Ask for a referral to a dietician. On a weight gain programme they encourage 3 meals a day with 3 snacks. If he’s underweight the dr may prescribe milkskakes which are high calorie (350 cal/250ml carton - they’re called ensure and you can also buy them through amazon). They would be the snack PLUS a food item like a piece of cake. For gaining weight things like using lots of butter/oil in mashed potato is encouraged along with eating a proper pudding with custard at lunch and dinner.

A days eating should look like

Breakfast - toast with butter and jam + cereal with full fat milk, orange juice

Snack - milkshake + biscuits/cake

Lunch - sandwich, drink, fruit, cake (something high calorie

Snack milkshake + biscuits/cake/rice pudding pot/high calorie yoghurt

Dinner - main meal + pudding (high calorie)

Snack - milkshake + toast with butter and jam

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ThereWillBeAdequateFood · 09/03/2019 08:12

You’re enabling his greed Can we describe an underweight 14 year old as greedy?

Don’t know what to suggest. My ds is scrawny (like his dad). I try to get him to eat his main healthy ish meals then he can snack on what he wants. No idea if that would work with a 14 year old though.

Could you get him into weight lifting? He might like putting more muscle on. But he will have to sacrifice some of his time of course.

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RandomMess · 09/03/2019 08:12

Is it the gaming getting in the way of eating? Wants to grab a snack to eat whilst gaming rather than sitting and eating a proper meal?

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yearinyearout · 09/03/2019 08:13

oh,ywhattodo that sounds like an awful lot of refined sugar in that eating plan. There are other ways to get calories in that are far healthier. When my DS was underweight as a teen the doctor recommended things like nuts, pasta, cheese, full fat milk, nut butters etc.

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AuntieMeemz · 09/03/2019 08:14

Hey -come to think about it,it's not so much snacks but breakfast treats like muffins. He and d's get one pack each per week. She likes a huge breakfast (which is fine,she trains at tumbling 5 hours per week) but he eats here and his within a few days.

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NCKitten · 09/03/2019 08:15

Could he have an eating disorder? They're increasingly common in boys and men.

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Jackshouse · 09/03/2019 08:16

ohmywhattodo has some good advice. I would not call an under weight teen who is snacking greedy! Maybe buy him healthier high calorie snack eg nut bars. Does he have much say in what is for dinner? Maybe he doesn’t like it and is having lots of snacks instead.

It might be worth seeing a dietitian too.

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hazeyjane · 09/03/2019 08:17

Does your son have any underlying conditions that may affect his relationship with food.... sensory processing.... autism.....digestive issues like reflux or constipation.....autistic tendencies as part of another condition....etc??

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kbPOW · 09/03/2019 08:17

A muffin is a treat and he gets 1 pack per week? Do you mean English muffins or cakes?

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Veterinari · 09/03/2019 08:20

Op do you think the gaming is the issue rather than the eating? Are you sitting down to proper evening meals together? If he can’t tear himself away from his console to eat then you need to address the gaming as the root cause.

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AuntieMeemz · 09/03/2019 08:21

Thank you all! Some great tips and info.
He doesn't seem to have much energy so will start putting these tips/info to us e todsy.

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SaucyJack · 09/03/2019 08:26

From what I’ve seen from my DD and her friends (Y9), this junk food thing is a quite normal phase in teens who were otherwise good eaters as younger children. Specially when (as Random says) they’re too “busy” with phones and computers to eat a sensible dinner.

What sort of food are you cooking for dinner? If he really is worrying underweight, then it’s probably worth relaxing your own organic/home-made principles in order for him to eat something. You need to meet him in the middle over the menu- specially if he’ll just leave it and then eat the few cakes that are in the house anyway.

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WitsEnding · 09/03/2019 08:31

Maybe more substantial snacks - cheese sandwich/pizza with extra cheese, fruit crumble & custard, cold sausages, chips/potato wedges?IME (tall skinny DS and DB) growing teenagers need stodgy food and protein. DS would eat rice pudding from the can as a snack, despite my efforts to convert him to home-made. DM fed DB chippers full of chips as well as a normal home-cooked diet. Both men stayed ideal weight when grown.