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To think you can’t hold a baby too much ?

(51 Posts)
SpinningSister Fri 08-Mar-19 16:25:46

I’ve got one 7 week old boy who I waited 10 years for.
Why do people insist on saying it’s better for a baby to be in a crib or bouncer than on my chest or arms ? That’s basically what they are saying ?

Of course to have a wee or make a tea he gets put down but im happy to hold him for a day watching tele and why shouldn’t I?

The silliest argument I have heard is if I had other children it wouldn’t be possible to hold him so often, but I don’t, so it’s surely a moot point.

Can you spoil a bloody 7 week old baby grrrr

SoundofSilence Fri 08-Mar-19 17:05:27

Cuddle him as long as he wants to be there and enjoy every minute of it. It's a precious time, especially if he had a traumatic start. You can't spoil a 7 week old baby. If he's squirming because he'd really like to know what pulling the cat's tail would feel like explore instead, you'll be able to tell.

Tenpole Fri 08-Mar-19 17:05:46

You're doing great. Sounds a perfect way to look after your baby.

Walklikeanegyptian1234 Fri 08-Mar-19 17:07:31

People used to say this to me all the time. That I needed to teach DS some independence hmm

He’s now a very confident happy little boy, who no longer wants mummy cuddles - make the most of it while you can!

hammeringinmyhead Fri 08-Mar-19 17:09:49

I think you take your cues from the baby. Mine is 18 weeks and gets fed up of being held. He likes to lie on his playmat, play with a toy in his bouncer and then nap in there with vibrate switched on. He's too heavy to hold for hours at 17lb!

SpinningSister Fri 08-Mar-19 17:11:20

Thanks all
I’ve got another thread asking for advice as he was in hospital as I rang 999 after he choked on reflux and wasn’t breathing 2 days ago and I really think I could become afraid of him because it scared me so much I almost didn’t want to touch him again.

While telling. Someone about that they ended with ‘you hold him too much’ and as I felt like he’s nearly died 2 times (of course he didn’t but it felt like it!!) now I want to stick to my guns and hold him when I can

I do think about stimulating him like I say. He watches while I do housework and we chat. I don’t sit on the chair all day and I’ve got a bad back so I couldn’t even if I wanted !!

Jackshouse Fri 08-Mar-19 17:12:07

Only if your neglect the rest of your family and/or your needs but other than that you can’t have too many snuggles.

If you don’t have a sling then look into getting one. My nearly 3 year old is suddenly so much less cuddly. I love it when she wakes up and needs cuddles durring the night. Skin to skin with your child is amazing.

Jackshouse Fri 08-Mar-19 17:13:23

Slings build your core muscles which is good for back problems.

blueskiesovertheforest Fri 08-Mar-19 17:15:13

SpinningSister other people are idiots wink if you had other children you could use a sling/ wrap, as you only have one you can use your arms. That's the only difference.

My second baby was born when my firstborn was 2, and the second baby lived in a didymous woven wrap tied to by chest until he was 6 months old. He was the best sleeper of all my babies at night, I think because he felt so safe all the time. I held him, if you count being in a wrap (often under my coat as he was an autumn born baby) while I had 2 hands free for his toddler sister, more than you hold your baby if anything - not less! I breastfed him in the wrap while out and about. I certainly never went 4 hours without holding him at 7 weeks - you're not holding him enough! wink [that's a joke... But you don't sound as though you're overdoing it at all, even if it was possible, which it isn't...]

Congratulations on your baby flowers


outpinked Fri 08-Mar-19 17:18:49

Nope, you can never hold a baby too much. They need all the love and affection in the world and they are only tiny for such a short space of time, make the most of it! Don’t listen to people saying you can ‘spoil’ a baby, it simply isn’t possible. Enjoy your long awaited baby smile.

Dontsweatthelittlestuff Fri 08-Mar-19 17:21:12

Slings don’t work for everyone as I tried with both of mine. But I am short with a short body and my babies were quite long so they didn’t fit comfortably against my body and their legs seemed to dangle and get in the way of moving freely about.

blueskiesovertheforest Fri 08-Mar-19 17:24:47

Carried babies cry less so spend more time noticing their environment and are less stressed, they have increased periods of quiet alertness and are more involved in their parents' world, at eye level not from the ground. They see and hear more. They often feed better due to proximity and grow better.
Carried babies are very much less likely to develop plagiocephaly (flat head syndrome).
As babies grow you change the position you carry them in, and it's good for their muscles, not only the parent carrying thems.

3boysandabump Fri 08-Mar-19 17:27:00

If anyone says it again tell them to read up about the 4th trimester

SleepingStandingUp Fri 08-Mar-19 17:27:35

No OP, you mustnt cuddle him for more than 20 minutes in every 60 averaged out over 4 hour blocks. If you do you'll break him and he'll never do anything you want ever. Don't let him think he can have unlimited love and affection, he'll just grow up all secure and well adjusted!!

Enjoy him x

SpinningSister Fri 08-Mar-19 17:37:51

One of the people who said I pick him up too much offered me a Gina ford book which I decided against mainly because so much SEEMED against nhs guidelines which I found simpler for me.

Her GF children are lovely teenagers so I am in no doubt it worked lovely for her.

SpinningSister Fri 08-Mar-19 17:38:33

When I say NHS guidance I have him in my room and feed on demand.

SpinningSister Fri 08-Mar-19 17:38:48

Bottle feed, btw

SpinningSister Fri 08-Mar-19 17:40:59


Haha flowers

MyBreadIsEggy Fri 08-Mar-19 17:42:16

Both of my babies were of the “un-put-down-able” breed, so spent most of their first year in a sling, in my bed, or in my arms.
When DC2 was a few hours old, and my dad showed up at my house with the most incredible takeaway I’ve ever tasted, he cut up my food for me so I could hold the baby and eat with one hand.
My mother then piped up with “You can put him down you know!”
hmm I know I can. I just don’t want to hmm

If you are happy, and your baby is happy, then you’re doing nothing wrong by holding him as much as he wants to be held. It will only be a few short years before you have to wrestle him for a cuddle at nursery drop off....(I’m looking at you DD hmm)

Alwaysawomantome Fri 08-Mar-19 17:45:06

Oh this is making me miss my two being so young that I could cuddle them all day.

not broody AT ALL

CalamityJune Fri 08-Mar-19 17:46:53

There's no problem as long as you're happy with it but personally I quite liked getting to the point where DS would doze in the bouncy chair and i could have full use of my body for half an hour

It would have been hard for me if he had been a velcro baby.

Cocobean30 Fri 08-Mar-19 17:48:10

Cuddle him all day happily...If anyone tells you not to just say you want him to feel loved and secure, unlike them, who must have been left to cry in a cot by the sounds of it hmm can’t belueve people can actually have an issue with a parent cuddling their new born

SpinningSister Fri 08-Mar-19 17:55:09

It would have been hard for me if he had been a velcro baby

See, I don’t feel that’s what I have? I have a nap from 7-11pm while DH has him so I can do more overnight, I’ve been to parties without DH, I dunno I can’t even see why this person said to put him down.

Right now I’m in the nursery with him on my chest while he’s asleep. I need the loo, I won’t hold it he will go down in his basket and if happy left there (in front of me)

I’ve got hyper mobility so I need to bend my knees a lot so put him down so I can do that.

So why these people (IRL) think I hold him too much I don’t know

MyBreadIsEggy Fri 08-Mar-19 18:19:39

So why these people (IRL) think I hold him too much I don’t know

Because some people - usually the older generation in my experience of it - think that a baby is nothing more than a digestive system. As long as it’s fed, burped and changed, it has no other needs.
My sister is one of those people confused

0lgaDaPolga Fri 08-Mar-19 18:27:52

Cuddle your baby and don’t listen to anyone that tells you not to. The time they are happy to sit and be cuddled is so short. Ds2 is 12 weeks old and I’m currently sat cuddling him, kissing his little head and drinking him in. Ds1 is 21 months and a little whirlwind and cuddles are few and far between. There’s a poem called something like ‘babies don’t keep’ that I love about holding your baby while they are small:

ZippyBungleandGeorge Fri 08-Mar-19 18:36:45

People said the same to me OP, I was spoiling him apparently, I should just give him a dummy and bung him in a sleepy head, instead of holding him, I also use an indoor doing which I was told would make him worse. He's now 14 weeks, sleeps from 8 -7 with one night feed, in his next to me crib. Funny that!

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