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children and cash

(19 Posts)
anmh Fri 08-Mar-19 08:58:59

Cash/voucher occasion gifts, how much is reasonable for a child under 12 from family and non family members (if that makes a difference).
If you received more than what you thought was reasonable, would you return it?

Singlemumscum Fri 08-Mar-19 09:01:26

Tradition here is that you put folding money into the hands of visiting children. A minimum of £10 or £20.

I never have anyone round which is just as well because that would be our week's food gone blush

anmh Fri 08-Mar-19 09:04:47

so what would you do if your child received more than that, so for example 50£?

Babysharkdododont Fri 08-Mar-19 09:06:28

Depends on who from, why etc.

Hollowvictory Fri 08-Mar-19 09:07:53

£20-30 from a grandparent

ZippyBungleandGeorge Fri 08-Mar-19 09:08:15

Who from? Family members give us that amount and more for DS, we say thank you, buy him a little something from it and put the rest in his bank account, or use it to buy a bigger item eg his new activity mat and send a picture of him using it saying 'thank you for my new play mat uncle Bob', so they know he's had something nice from it

Singlemumscum Fri 08-Mar-19 09:08:49

I would have to reciprocate with their children/grandchildren/nieces/nephews. So I would be at least £50 down, more like £150 if there are siblings.

I would put any money into an account for my dc. There are no shops here so it is easy to enforce this. There is a shop in the place where the secondary school is so it is harder to enforce then.

Eliza9917 Fri 08-Mar-19 09:13:23

I'd give £10 for an under 12, although I think we gave our nephew £20 & 2 presents, and niece £10 & presents as she had an extra present (I tried to keep the spend roughly the same as one was on my side, the other on DP's) and they were 5.

TeenTimesTwo Fri 08-Mar-19 09:31:13

With ours when younger we had a deal with extended family we would exchange cash for gifts in advance of the birthday/Christmas.

Had they been given £50 direct we would have overseen spending or said spend some and save the rest. Money from savings books had overseen spending too.

We were not going to let them waste £50 on plastic tat that looked lovely in the box and had 5 mins play value.

LegitimateShite Fri 08-Mar-19 09:36:58

Depends on the financial situation of the giver/if a precedent has been set already with family and friends/how close the person giving the money or voucher is to the child.

If mine received £50 as a gift, we’d likely have a chat about whether they wanted to spend or save, or a bit of both, then either go on a shopping trip or put it in the bank.

Why do you ask?

killpop Fri 08-Mar-19 09:38:34

My nieces/nephew/godchildren are all young (bar one who is becoming a teen this year) and I give £20.
Best friends children get £10 but as they reach 16/17/18 it changes a bit. At 16 I give £16 worth of lottery scratch cards, at 17 it's whatever it costs for a single driving lesson, at 18 it was £25. When the eldest went to university he also got £50.

anmh Fri 08-Mar-19 16:02:24

We received some money from extended family for our children's birthdays (collectively) and even though it is a combined gift it seems alot. I'm a little uncomfortable because there isn't an occasion I can see in the near future that we could reciprocate and I don't want to offend them by returning their gift!
Would it be odd to return some of the money?

RiverTam Fri 08-Mar-19 16:06:43

yes, it would.

Accept it with thanks and forget about it.

user1471426142 Fri 08-Mar-19 16:26:13

I’ve had some very generous cash gifts over the years for me and my children and the givers would have been mortified if I had tried to return money.

FishCanFly Fri 08-Mar-19 16:48:04

extremely odd to return a gift. but if you want to "compensate" the giver somehow, maybe buy them a nice gift for their occasion.

As for the child - certainly have a discussion/encourage to save

NuffSaidSam Fri 08-Mar-19 16:53:58

You shouldn't give to receive. Hopefully your relatives know that.

Take the money as what it is, a gift.

Don't give it back. Don't look for an excuse to buy them a gift of similar value.

Say thank you and tell them how you will spend it. Get your child to write a card/letter if they're old enough. Or take a picture of them playing with/wearing/using/enjoying whatever you buy with the money.

dreichuplands Fri 08-Mar-19 16:54:45

Don't return it, they want your dc to have it. Get your dc to write/ draw a thank you note/card.
Unless you think it has been given for control issues in some way. In which case returning it would make more sense.

anmh Fri 08-Mar-19 18:02:56

No, there isn't any other motive aside from being very generous, I guess I should accept my children are lucky!
We will be doing a nice thank you card, thank you for taking the time to offer your input.

OKBobble Fri 08-Mar-19 18:24:57

In these circumstances where you weren't expecting it and they weren't reciprocating then remember they woild have only done this if they could afford it and wanted to.

Yes nice thank you cards are the order of the day and maybe spend some/save some.

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