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Would your DH take his own kids for an hour if you were ill?

(141 Posts)
7amandtiredalready Fri 08-Mar-19 08:29:27

As it says in the title. Not a gripe with my DH (I don't have a DH) but with my mother.

I'm taking antibiotics for a chest infection and I've also done something horribly painful to my neck, arm and back because I've been coughing so hard. The GP told me to try to have a lie-down for an hour or so at the weekend when I'm not working. I was having a very mild moan to my mother on the phone about not being able to do that because I'm a single mum and don't have a DH/ DP to look after DC for an hour (for the avoidance of doubt, I was NOT angling for her to help out and there was no question of that).

Her response was that, even if I had a DH, I still wouldn't be able to have a break because a man wouldn't / couldn't be expected to look after his own kids for an hour even if his wife was ill. I'm not going nuts - that's weird sexist bullshit, isn't it? I lurk on Mumsnet so I know there are some awful lazy dads out there, but surely the number of men willing to supervise their own children for an hour is > 0, right?

Hsmumma Fri 08-Mar-19 08:30:26

Yes he would and has.

RiverTam Fri 08-Mar-19 08:30:33

yes, outdated sexist nonsense, but it's astonishing/depressing how many women still have their bar set so low they couldn't depend on their DP to parent his own children.

RiverTam Fri 08-Mar-19 08:30:54

and yes, he would - wouldn't even need to be asked.

granhands1 Fri 08-Mar-19 08:31:17

Of course he would, he would even take her if I wasn't just to spend time with her. Your mum is wrong.
Hope you feel better soon.

Lyricallie Fri 08-Mar-19 08:32:39

That’s actually ridiculous. My father was a waste of time but even he managed to keep us alive and look after us as my mum would.

Every time I come on here and read about people and their partners it just makes me more grateful for my fiancé. Probs should tell him that lol.

Merryoldgoat Fri 08-Mar-19 08:32:58

Of course they do.

My DH is a full partner, shares childcare, stays off if one is sick etc.

Just able to parent as I am.

However my grandmother thinks he’s some kind of saint - it’s a generational thing. But tell her she’s wrong.

Lyricallie Fri 08-Mar-19 08:33:42

Edit: even though I know this is not an actual partner and just your mum saying it. Just in general on MN.

Damntheman Fri 08-Mar-19 08:34:30

lolwhat? Your mum is living in the 30s still. Yes he would without question. He would take them out for the whole day so I could rest in peace! And he'd have them until I was feeling better even if that took weeks.

Jackshouse Fri 08-Mar-19 08:34:40

DH normal has DD for half a couple of hours at the weekend without me for their relationship anyway. But yes he would frequently recently had to take DD out or keep her occupied because I needed a rest.

ZippyBungleandGeorge Fri 08-Mar-19 08:35:04

Erm I'm not ill DH has taken DS out for a couple of hours so I get a break , I'm eating toast and mumsnetting

notforonesecond Fri 08-Mar-19 08:35:21

I’m on mat leave at the moment but when I was ill last week DH took the day off work to look after our 10mo so I could stay in bed all day. Your DM’s definitey talking bollocks.

Damntheman Fri 08-Mar-19 08:35:21

My father, to compare, would also take all of us off mum's hands when mum wasn't well. Also without question, and he was born in 1931.

wineandroses1 Fri 08-Mar-19 08:35:47

YES. Because he actually likes spending time with DD, and they have many activities they share. If I was ill, it would be a no-brainer; he’d take her out so that I could rest quietly at home. That’s what partners do for each other.

AnyFucker Fri 08-Mar-19 08:36:05

Don't engage with that nonsense

SavageBeauty73 Fri 08-Mar-19 08:36:20

Even my awful exDH would. Did your mum not offer?

Jackshouse Fri 08-Mar-19 08:36:27

That should have said half a day or a couple of hours. He does not just look after by himself for 30 mins a weekend.

Am a child of the 80s and my Dad used to take me swimming at the weekends.

Chocolateheaven123 Fri 08-Mar-19 08:38:22

Erm, your mum needs are head examined.

Yes, my DP is very involved with DS. I'm also pregnant and get tired very easily, especially after work. On a Saturday, I usually come home and have a bath then a lie down.

Chocolateheaven123 Fri 08-Mar-19 08:38:46

Also, sorry you're feeling grotty. Hospital you feel better soon!

Cabawill Fri 08-Mar-19 08:39:04

My DH takes our 2 DC away for whole days when I'm not even ill to give me some alone time and would certainly step up if I was ill.

EyesAreNeverClosing Fri 08-Mar-19 08:39:13

Of course but not just for an hour, for however long was necessary. He's not a babysitter, he's their dad. Your mother is being ridiculous and clearly has low expectations of the men in her life. My mother was like this, her attitude didn't run off on me. Ignore her.

BeanTownNancy Fri 08-Mar-19 08:39:17

Wtaf? I've been in hospital since Saturday morning, so my husband has been taking care of our toddler, on his own, with no question and no prompting needed from me on anything. Taking him to and from nursery, clothing and feeding him, doing all the housework (not to my taste always but enough that the house isn't a biohazard).

Men aren't stupid or incompetent, some of them (and some women come to mention it) are just lazy so they pretend to be. A truly smart person won't stand for that and won't settle for a partner who can't be relied upon to pull their weight.

CielBleuEtNuages Fri 08-Mar-19 08:39:50

Of course he would. I recently took the DC away for a weeks holiday without DH. The weekend before we went he spent hours with them without me so I could rest and he could see as much of them as possible

EyesAreNeverClosing Fri 08-Mar-19 08:40:01

*Rub not run

Stormwhale Fri 08-Mar-19 08:40:11

Yes of course he would. I'm pregnant and having a rough time and he often tells me to take myself off to bed for a rest. He is perfectly capable of dealing with dd.

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