AIBU to ask the daftest thing you have done to your baby?

[OrangeSunsets]

My 9 yo DD was asking me for stories from when she was a baby. I remembered the time she had hiccups aged around 7 months. I knew making someone jump should clear them so without thinking turned to her and shouted “boo!”. Scared the crap out of her and she still had hiccups. To make it worse I realised that she would have no idea why I did it and started laughing uncontrollably. I think she’s now over it what daft shit have you done to your babies without thinking?

[LittleKitty1985]

Having been a cat-mother for many years and a baby-mother for only a few weeks, I sometimes catch myself making those kissy cat-calling noises at DS or scratching his belly

[Usuallyinthemiddle]

OP I've got the snorty chortles. Boo!

[QOD]

I used to fake drop dd. She found it hilarious as she was used to it/me
Bloody did it to someone else’s baby and fuck me.
Didn’t get invited back

[Mmmhmmm]

Accidentally called her by my decreased cat's name when she was misbehaving.

[OrangeSunsets]

I have always said to DD that we “have to chop it off” in relation to any minor injury. The alternative being to “kiss it better”. Of course my DD finds that funny and opts to “kiss it better”. Not quite so funny when I said to my friends DD that we would have to chop off her finger. I didn’t get to kiss it better before she started howling

[OrangeSunsets]

Oh yes the game drop QOD kids don’t have a sense of humour anymore

[OrangeSunsets]

I just realised I forgot my speech marks
Should read I didn’t get to “kiss it better” before she started howling. There were two options. Chop it off was always the first...

[2birds1stone]

Dd was being "naughty"... dh in an effort to tell her off called her his little brothers name....

Went to let her feed a duck until I remembered they have a hard peck and she has tiny fingers...

[pumpkinpie01]

I drew very dark eyebrows on my 6 week old then handed him over to his dad when he got in from work whilst me and my dd tried to stifle our laughter

[whylie]

Mine has to be :

Ds was about 4/5 months old and (ex) DP was holding him up in the air and rolling him down to DP face making silly noises, DS giggling like crazy, I said "not to much as he had not long had a bottle of milk, you will make him sick" DP "Nah , you wont be sick little fella will ya"...Carries on doing it...Well DP had his mouth wide open baby talking to DS and what happens?...Bluhhh...yep!...DS pushes and it landed straight in DP mouth!...🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣...it was sooooo funny still makes me howl now!...🤣🤣🤣🤣

[cheaperthebetter]

Pukes * it was meant to say 🤦🏻‍♀️

[DianaPrincessOfThemyscira]

We do the BRING ME THE BIG KNIFE for any minor injury - it's funny until someone not in the family sees you do it!

[FairfaxAikman]

DH and I are in the habit of making up songs to the tune of popular ones and I tend to sing them without thinking.

The one that's got me the funniest looks in public is:

We love the boobie
We love the boobie
Suck on the boobie
Get milk from the boobie
We love the boobie on a Saturday night (change day and time to suit).



All sung to the tune of We Like To Boogie.

[TeaforTwoBiscuitOrThree]

Took DD out.....without a nappy. Her teddy bear was wearing one though. I just pulled her tights up, got her dressed and off we went. She got soaked through...Teddy was fine. Still makes me squirm in shame.

[DuggeesWoggle]

Fairfax we sing 'DS's name's got ten thousand bogies up his nose' to the tune of 'she'll be coming round the mountain when she comes'. Must have started when he had a particularly snotty period as a baby!

Never did do the drawing eyebrows thing, always regretted it. Still, DC2 due in the autumn...

[CigarsofthePharoahs]

I scared my then 3 month old doing a similar thing to you op. He was in his little bouncy chair and I was doing a sort of peekaboo as I came back in the room.
He went from grizling to shrieking and took me ages to calm him down.
Then there was the time I went to cut ds1's fingernails. Yeah, that didn't go too well.

[smurfy2015]

To my brother, who took nieces age 4 and 2 months out into a field to see the lovely cows, got right up beside the cows and realised it wasnt a cow but a bull whose territory they were invading.

Cue his hand going across the baby mouth to soften any sudden sounds, while the 4yr was told reverse step and don't speak, will explain when back at the house.

[FlossieTeacakesFurCoat18]

Teddy was fine

[berrybubbles]

I do cat calling noises too by accident and now DD responds to me calling the cats so they all come running

[FurrySlipperBoots]

@smurfy2015

Eeek! I don't 'Do' cows! They're lovely, just on the other side of a solid fence. Luckily you don't need to worry too much about a bull in with cows, as he has, let's say, an 'outlet for his testosterone'! You just don't want to be in a field with a lone, frustrated bull. And don't get too close to a mother cow with a calf because they can be as bad.

[GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER]

When my first was about 10 days old I left her in her pram in Boots, having completely forgotten that I had her.
Just as well I'd arranged to meet my mother, whose horrified, 'Where's the baby??' crash-landed me back to reality.
Luckily it wasn't for long, and nobody had twigged.

Long grown--up dd still finds it hilarious - poor old mum was bonkers even then....

[CalamityJune]

@GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER my nan did the same thing to my dad in the '60s, except she had got on the bus all the way home before she realised. Thankfully he was still there went she jumped on the next bus back 😮

[Oysterbabe]

I like to change parts of stories to things that are slightly wrong when I'm reading them. She normally notices and laughs.
Like in the Tiger Who Came to Tea
"It can't be Daddy because I threw that loser out years ago"

[BlueMerchant]

I spent a full day pretending I was a robot to my son when he was a toddler. I did strange noises and totally had him convinced.

[GummyGoddess]

When I was pregnant I became concerned that DC1 wasn't moving. So I relaxed as much as possible before shouting at my stomach. He jumped a mile and gave himself hiccups while I felt very guilty and that I was failing as a mother without even having a baby to look after. Poor thing must have been asleep!