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If your DC plays a sport at regional/national level ...

(9 Posts)
chlorinated Thu 07-Mar-19 19:53:15

... do they ever skip training for a friend's birthday party?

My DC trains with his team-mates for 3 hours 2 nights a week, with matches at weekends. Inevitably at this level the coaches are pretty driven people and have high expectations for attendance. He's very committed and rarely misses training, but one of the sessions is a Friday night. Inevitably when his small group of about 5 close friends have birthdays there are Friday night socials that he doesn't want to miss.

I get the impression it's ok to skip for a school event, so we've lied a couple of times, but there are only so many Friday night school trips that can be invented.

I know it depends on the coach/sport, but I'm just wondering what the experience of others is?

BackforGood Thu 07-Mar-19 23:34:54

My dd didn't play for regional area until she was older and arranging her own social life, but, I'd have thought if you are talking about a group of 5, if they want him to be there, why don't they arrange to get together on a Saturday instead ?
That's the basis we've done things with all our dc - if you are committed to something, part of that is understanding it isn't missed except for an exceptional reason.
I'd save the "allowed to miss a practice" nights for the odd occasion when he needs to miss a Friday.

oldowlgirl Thu 07-Mar-19 23:49:06

My sons friends rearrange parties / get togethers etc for a time or day of the week that they know he will be available. They pretty much know his schedule or check with him or me first.

He doesn't miss training unless it is a school event (drives me crazy when it's a family birthday etc but we've accepted that given the level he is).

arethereanyleftatall Fri 08-Mar-19 00:01:22

No, I wouldn't skip training. Too important to me.
If he's only training a couple of nights a week (and by the way, what sport do you get to a good level of only training twice a week?), why don't they organise their get togethers on any of the other 5 nights?
I wouldn't recommend swimming as a sport btw - at least 3 hours a day, every day, to get to national level.

Comefromaway Fri 08-Mar-19 00:03:37

My two do performing arts (dd is now training professionally) and would never skip class or rehearsal for a party.

VonHerrBurton Fri 08-Mar-19 00:32:53

Yy to arethereanyleft shock The JOY of ds only training twice a week would be heavenly!

He would never miss training. Unless completely unavoidable. Totally his choice, always has been, all along. 4/5 nights a week and conditioning/gym work at weekends if no comps.

Rule of thumb - they need to make their own decisions about commitment. If there's any resentment or fear of missing out, that will just grow and grow. I've seen it happen so many times.

YourBasic Fri 08-Mar-19 00:37:45


It is realistically a career option for them?

By them not showing does it effect the others at training ?

merryMuppet Fri 08-Mar-19 02:23:59

That’s really unfortunate to have training on a Friday night. My DD trained up to national level in gymnastics for 16 hours 5 days a week but Friday nights were free. I let her make her own decisions but mostly parties and training didn’t clash so she didn’t miss out on much although it could be hard with a Saturday night party and training at 9am on the Sunday. She loved the sport though and loved the social side too. They had sleepovers with squad friends and they’re still friends now...

I think missing a best friend’s party isn’t good for anyone - they’re memories for life and the odd night off for special events should be fine.

Monarexfluff Fri 08-Mar-19 18:36:19

My two swim at national level so train six days a week and compete usually once a month. They plan everything around training but the majority of their friends are in the same sport or understand that training comes first so they do still have pretty good social lives.

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