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To think she’s being weirdly precious about ‘The Ladies’?

(21 Posts)
StillCoughingandLaughing Thu 07-Mar-19 19:00:19

I work in an office with two sets of toilets on each floor; one set at each end. They consist of two individual cubicles at each end, plus a disabled cubicle by the lift. On some floors, the cubicles have Ladies and Gentlemen signs on the doors, but the cubicles themselves are identical - a toilet and a sink. They are completely private with nothing other than the sign to differentiate them (no urinals in the ‘Gents’, no sanpro in the ‘Ladies’ etc.)

Today one of my colleagues came back into the office from the hallway area with a bit of a face on. She came over to me and whispered ‘I’ve just seen Steve [colleague from another team] coming out of the Ladies’. She looked at me as if to say it was all a bit distressing.

I was a bit flummoxed, to be honest. I said ‘Does it really matter? They’re private cubicles anyway’. She looked shocked and said ‘I know, but it’s the LADIES! I don’t want a man going in there, it’s weird!’

I think she was a bit disappointed that I didn’t see any problem. But it seems ridiculous to me. If it was a dedicated set of toilets that would be different - I wouldn’t want a man in there any more than I would go into the Gents. But they’re completely private, whoever’s in. If the sign dropped off it wouldn’t make a blind bit of difference. I sure as hell wouldn’t wait outside the supposed Ladies if the other cubicle was free. I’m guessing Steve did the same.

For context, this colleague does seem to have a bit of a thing about gender divisions. When she first joined the team she made a big thing about us having ‘a girls’ night out’, despite the fact that the whole (mixed) team socialises together regularly. Our female boss left last week and this woman said to me ‘Can you believe we’re the only girls in the team now?’ (East 17 were number one last time I was a ‘girl’).

Isn’t this just a fuss over nothing?

DontCallMeShitley Thu 07-Mar-19 19:02:08

Was Steve wearing a dress?

Friolero Thu 07-Mar-19 19:02:25

I can't see an issue with it if they're totally separate cubicles, as long as the men don't pee over the seat.

SlightAggrandising Thu 07-Mar-19 19:03:56

It pisses me off when men use the ladies loo. Kind of like the thin end of the wedge IMO. Especially if they're doing it for their own convenience ie it's closer.

ShirleyPhallus Thu 07-Mar-19 19:04:41

I hate men using the ladies toilets, piss all over the seat and the floor isn’t too nice to me!

Muddysnowdrop Thu 07-Mar-19 19:05:50

Lots of cafes have a set up like this, I wouldn’t use the single cubicle that says male, why would I? If men’s toilets were kept (by the users) in the same condition as female ones it might not matter. But they aren’t, are they, they stink.

HomeMadeMadness Thu 07-Mar-19 19:07:56

I actually fibd women are way worse for pissing on the seat (presumably because some have decided to hover instead of actually sitting). I couldn't care less if a guy used it as long as he didn't make a mess.

Muddysnowdrop Thu 07-Mar-19 19:08:10

Plus, seat up/seat down issues. I don’t want to have to touch the seat every time.
Are there really no bins for sanitary products in the women’s one? Pretty sure workplaces have to provide this.

TooManyPaws Thu 07-Mar-19 19:08:45

Does she share a loo with any male partner or children? If so, what's the difference?
About fifteen years ago I was at a naval shore establishment where the loos and washing facilities were unisex - completely walled individual cubicles with a central place for handwashing. No big deal. I wasn't all that bothered when we occasionally had to share before though - change the sign on the door to Ladies and still find a bloke at a urinal when I came out of a cubicle!

Chocolate1984 Thu 07-Mar-19 19:08:47

Steve is just the start. Once the rest of the men realise they can use it too it will end up like every other unisex toilet stinking of piss with wee on the floor.

MightyAtlantic Thu 07-Mar-19 19:09:17

I agree that she is being ridiculous, what does it matter if it's a single cubicle? It seems strange that only some of the toilets in the building have signs on the doors though, you would think it would be all or none. Maybe Steve just forgot what floor he was on!
Just out of interest, you say there is no sanpro, but are there sanpro bins in all the loos, if they can technically be used by anyone?

Muddysnowdrop Thu 07-Mar-19 19:12:05

Toomanypaws I also share a bed with the man I live with, should I be happy to do that on a work trip? If the males in my household leave a mess in the toilet they will be sent straight back in - can the OP do that with Steve? Or tell a boss to remember to flush?

azulmariposa Thu 07-Mar-19 19:17:17

Yes, men's loos always stink, they generally piss everywhere and leave the seat up.

StillCoughingandLaughing Thu 07-Mar-19 19:21:59

Steve is just the start. Once the rest of the men realise they can use it too it will end up like every other unisex toilet stinking of piss with wee on the floor.

I’m pretty sure plenty of men already do - it’s just no one else has made a fuss.

TooManyPaws Thu 07-Mar-19 19:22:01

Muddy why the hell not? I also comment on women who leave the bog in a mess - believe you me, after cleaning both ladies and gents when working in a hotel as a student, there's not much difference between them.

StillCoughingandLaughing Thu 07-Mar-19 19:24:32

*I agree that she is being ridiculous, what does it matter if it's a single cubicle? It seems strange that only some of the toilets in the building have signs on the doors though, you would think it would be all or none. Maybe Steve just forgot what floor he was on!
Just out of interest, you say there is no sanpro, but are there sanpro bins in all the loos, if they can technically be used by anyone?*

The building has seen better days and we’re leaving soon, so I don’t think they’re that fussed on maintenance.

There are no bins in either cubicle.

Bookworm4 Thu 07-Mar-19 19:28:36

It is a legal requirement for workplaces to provide sanitary bins.
Colleague is a bit behind the times.

Trills Thu 07-Mar-19 19:36:45

The two loos should be labelled "this is a toilet", it's ridiculous and inefficient to have one labelled mens and one labelled womens.

ReanimatedSGB Thu 07-Mar-19 19:38:14

Any loo which is a single cubicle-with-sink should be unisex. It just makes life easier. And when it's in a workplace there's no need for anti-trans screaming panic because your workmates just use the loo and go back to work, there's no 'lying in wait'.

Muddysnowdrop Thu 07-Mar-19 19:45:33

Failing to see how a man, dressed like a man and calling himself Steve (every day, not just Tuesdays and Fridays) has anything to do with “anti trans panic” hmm
Pp can’t see any issue with a female employee being able to tell a male colleague or boss to tidy up after themselves. Wish I lived in your world!
I’m pretty sure sanitary bins are required from employers. If they aren’t, then women at your work will be putting pads etc in the regular bin, and might not want a man coming in after them and seeing it. I wouldn’t.

Vulpine Thu 07-Mar-19 19:54:48

I agree with her although I probs wouldn't bother voicing my opinion. I don't like men in the ladies.

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