I work in an office with two sets of toilets on each floor; one set at each end. They consist of two individual cubicles at each end, plus a disabled cubicle by the lift. On some floors, the cubicles have Ladies and Gentlemen signs on the doors, but the cubicles themselves are identical - a toilet and a sink. They are completely private with nothing other than the sign to differentiate them (no urinals in the ‘Gents’, no sanpro in the ‘Ladies’ etc.)
Today one of my colleagues came back into the office from the hallway area with a bit of a face on. She came over to me and whispered ‘I’ve just seen Steve [colleague from another team] coming out of the Ladies’. She looked at me as if to say it was all a bit distressing.
I was a bit flummoxed, to be honest. I said ‘Does it really matter? They’re private cubicles anyway’. She looked shocked and said ‘I know, but it’s the LADIES! I don’t want a man going in there, it’s weird!’
I think she was a bit disappointed that I didn’t see any problem. But it seems ridiculous to me. If it was a dedicated set of toilets that would be different - I wouldn’t want a man in there any more than I would go into the Gents. But they’re completely private, whoever’s in. If the sign dropped off it wouldn’t make a blind bit of difference. I sure as hell wouldn’t wait outside the supposed Ladies if the other cubicle was free. I’m guessing Steve did the same.
For context, this colleague does seem to have a bit of a thing about gender divisions. When she first joined the team she made a big thing about us having ‘a girls’ night out’, despite the fact that the whole (mixed) team socialises together regularly. Our female boss left last week and this woman said to me ‘Can you believe we’re the only girls in the team now?’ (East 17 were number one last time I was a ‘girl’).
Isn’t this just a fuss over nothing?
AIBU?
To think she’s being weirdly precious about ‘The Ladies’?
StillCoughingandLaughing · 07/03/2019 19:00
Failing to see how a man, dressed like a man and calling himself Steve (every day, not just Tuesdays and Fridays) has anything to do with “anti trans panic” 
Pp can’t see any issue with a female employee being able to tell a male colleague or boss to tidy up after themselves. Wish I lived in your world!
I’m pretty sure sanitary bins are required from employers. If they aren’t, then women at your work will be putting pads etc in the regular bin, and might not want a man coming in after them and seeing it. I wouldn’t.
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