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To ask opinions on sex while pregnant with a man who's not the dad

(446 Posts)
blackcoffeeinbed Thu 07-Mar-19 14:59:06

What are people's opinions on having sex with someone you have met at 25weeks pregnant after being single for 3 months after splitting up from baby's dad?

Have had a friend ask my opinion on wether I think this is acceptable. I was a bit surprised by her asking and didn't really know what to say. I ended up saying it's her life and her body and if she is comfortable then it's her choice but to make sure she uses a condom as she hasn't known this guy long. She responded that she doesn't know if she should because it feels wrong while she has her baby inside her still, I said that if she is unsure then not to pressure herself.

I've never really thought about it tbh and usually I'm just of the opinion what people do isn't any of my business, but reflecting on it now I don't think I personally would if i was her, I can't put my finger on why exactly but then I've never been in her position! What do others think? Would you? Wouldn't you? Have you?

GrumpyOldMare Thu 07-Mar-19 15:13:14

No,I wouldn't but then I didn't have sex with my partner when I was pregnant as I totally went off the idea.

x2boys Thu 07-Mar-19 15:15:13

At 25 weeks pregnant I didn't want to have sex full stop,let alone with someone I haden t known for her long but it's her body her choice as you say.

Awwlookatmybabyspider Thu 07-Mar-19 15:17:01

I think its pretty grotesque to be honest.

BarryTheKestrel Thu 07-Mar-19 15:19:23

Someone I know did just this and is still with the guy 10 years and 2 more children later.

If she is comfortable enough to do so and wants to have sex then there is no reason not to as long as she uses protection.

Yes it's not ideal and yes people will judge her but it's her life.

ltk Thu 07-Mar-19 15:19:37

Provided she is safe and uses a condom, why not?? What does it matter if her sexual partner is the father? Nothing to feel wierd about - the baby ain't gonna know!

kaytee87 Thu 07-Mar-19 15:20:16

I think it's a horrible idea. I'd also think a man was a bit weird to want to.

I can't quite place my reasoning though so I would never say it to anyone as I assume I'm being unreasonable.

Using a condom is of course good advice.

Happyspud Thu 07-Mar-19 15:20:24

Totally fine. Work away. No need to be all dramatic about it (as long as she’s protecting herself adequately).

outpinked Thu 07-Mar-19 15:20:42

I think it’s slightly odd for a man to want to sleep with a pregnant woman who isn’t his partner tbh.

CountessVonBoobs Thu 07-Mar-19 15:21:15

I'm with your first post really. No one's business but hers, if she wants it crack on and enjoy, but don't do it if she isn't interested. Pretty much like sex at any other time.

Valanice1989 Thu 07-Mar-19 15:21:31

I know I'm going to be called "judgy", but I find the idea repulsive.

HerSymphonyAndSong Thu 07-Mar-19 15:22:53

Practise safe sex as usual and in principle it is absolutely not a problem and it is no one else’s business. But if she shouldn’t feel obliged to have any sex she isn’t comfortable with as you say

greendale17 Thu 07-Mar-19 15:24:17

*I think it's a horrible idea. I'd also think a man was a bit weird to want to.*

^This. I find it a bit disgusting really

Mmmhmmm Thu 07-Mar-19 15:24:45

Something about it just feels off to me too.

Also if I was her I'd be wondering if he's one of those guys with a fetish for pregnant women. Usually when you're obviously pregnant you immediately become sexually invisible to all men that aren't your baby's father.

HerSymphonyAndSong Thu 07-Mar-19 15:25:03

What is it that people don’t like about the idea? I genuinely can’t see what the objection is to a man who isn’t the father unless you have some sort of weird ideas about ownership of women’s bodies and gestating babies. And if you didn’t want to have sex at all in pregnancy why do you care if other women do?

burritofan Thu 07-Mar-19 15:25:03

Totally fine, confused why anyone would find it repulsive. Is she supposed to be celibate once marked with another man's seed?

Karigan195 Thu 07-Mar-19 15:26:52

Mostly it’s the risk of infections etc. I don’t think I could with someone new who was an unknown risk factor

chestylarue52 Thu 07-Mar-19 15:27:23

If its weird when the man is not the father I can't imagine what logic would mean it's OK if the man is the father.

AnneLovesGilbert Thu 07-Mar-19 15:29:04

Pregnant sex is amazing, seems a shame for her to miss out because she’s split with her ex.

As long as she’s comfortable, he’s considerate and they use condoms they should go for it. If she’s asking though she has doubts so should trust her gut.

CluedoAddict Thu 07-Mar-19 15:29:22

It's weird. Strange that a man would want to with another man's baby inside her.

kaytee87 Thu 07-Mar-19 15:29:24

If its weird when the man is not the father I can't imagine what logic would mean it's OK if the man is the father.

For my part, there is no logic. It's just a gut reaction.

GroggyLegs Thu 07-Mar-19 15:29:40

It's one of those things which is logically fine (assuming consensual and safe), but makes my back feel funny nevertheless.

KidLorneRoll Thu 07-Mar-19 15:30:33

I can only assume that those who think it's weird are worried the baby might catch the other man's DNA, or something?

They are two, presumably consenting, adults. If they are comfortable with it, then it is, of course, absolutely fine.

e1y1 Thu 07-Mar-19 15:30:58

No, it's weird. Don't know why and it is very judgey, but I too find it a bit repulsive.

thecutecouple Thu 07-Mar-19 15:31:06

It's not anyone else's business. How would she feel about another few million people knowing? She'll get one hell of a fright if the DM print this thread in their rag.

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