To not want DH to try and pay me for sex?

sunsprout · 2019-03-07 09:09:01

Name changed for this. —-Daily mail are shit, don’t even try and use this post!—- DH hasn’t worked for 6 months, and finally has a new job. While he’s been unemployed I’ve been paying the bills etc and generally holding down the fort. I’m also giving him money every day for work until he gets paid, which is at the end of the month. Last night DH brought up his wages, and how much he thought he was going to get paid, as he’s only getting paid for part of the month. He then asked me how much I wanted of it. When he was working before he’d just give me a certain amount every month, which would be his share of the bills, and that’s how we’ve always done it. So last night he asked me how much I wanted, I said it was his money and I’d rather he say a figure. He offered £300 of a £1000 estimated wage. I said ok, that’s fine. Bit annoying that it’s quite low (considering I’ve been paying for everything and really working myself into the ground for the past 6 months) but as it’s his first wage in a while I don’t want to take it all off him. DH then offered me £600 instead, but if I wanted that I would have to do something sexual- TMI warning either sex, or a handjob. I said no, and told him not to treat me like that as I’m his wife, not a sex worker. (Just to add, nothing against sex workers in the slightest! But I don’t expect my husband to treat me like that) He then kept going on and on at me, “are you sure? Think of what you could buy with an extra £600.” “You’re not gonna get this offer again” “are you really sure?” “I’m just gonna get it for free tomorrow night so why not do it now and get £600 out of it”. He genuinely doesn’t see a problem with how he’s treating me. He thinks it’s fine, and views it as doing each other a favour. My issues are: Why treat me like I’m an escort instead of his wife? Why keep going on and on after I’ve said no? If he can afford to give me £600 if it means getting his own way, why not give me the £600 anyway?? Considering I’ve spent thousands keeping us and DD afloat while he’s been unemployed, and giving him money for whatever he needs. Surely that’s the least I deserve! On the flip side maybe he’s doing this because we don’t have sex as frequently as he’d like. Our sex drives are a complete mismatch, but it doesn’t help that he has to be told constantly what to do. This includes brushing teeth, showering, sorting DD out and general housework etc. If I don’t ask him/remind him that he needs to do these things then he just won’t do them. Why would I fawn over a man who acts like a child? Our 6 year old DD is more self sufficient than him. I’m sorry that it’s been such a rambling post. I didn’t want to drip feed and tried to put all relevant details in there. What should I do? Am I overreacting? Is this a common thing in relationships? Just for clarity, we’re both 30, and have been together for 12 years.

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As this has been shared in the media, we're taking it down for the OP.