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WIBU to move dd to a different school?

(1 Post)
Islands81 Wed 06-Mar-19 22:40:52

Dd is 8 and waiting for a hospital appointment re an ASD diagnosis. Her older sister is diagnosed and I am as sure as sure can be that dd2 also has ASD.

Typically for girls on the spectrum, she has only had one friend since the start of reception. She’s never shown much interest in other children, although she rubs along ok with everyone generally. However, recently her one and only friend has been ditching her and choosing to play with two other girls, who are not particularly kind to dd and make it difficult for her to join in.

This has been very upsetting for dd, although of course her friend is perfectly within her rights to want to play with other kids. When dd is excluded, she will just mooch around on her own. I’ve tried encouraging her to make other friends but it’s difficult as everyone has their established friendship groups.

This week she’s been in floods of tears every day about going to school, and pretty miserable when she comes out at the end of the day. For a while she has been referring to school as ‘hell’ and it’s been an effort to get her there. However on a recent parents evening her teacher (who is lovely) said dd was doing really well and seemed happy at school.

One morning this week was really bad and she was in such a state there was no way I could take her in. I asked her if she thought she’d be happier at a different school, and she said yes. There is a school 5 mins away that is perceived to be better, it’s a lot smaller, and quite a few people have jumped ship lately to that one from dd’s current school.

We ended up going to have a look around the other school that morning, and now dd is booked in for a trial day next week. She’s really excited about it.

Obviously we need to see how she gets on with the trial day, but I’m now wondering if this is a totally bonkers thing to be doing. She may not find it any easier to make friends at the new school, and she will lose the amazing teacher she currently has who seems to really ‘get her’ like no other teacher has done.

I’m not sure what can be done about making her any happier at her current school, it seems her buddy of 4.5 years has found some other friends and there’s not much can be done about it. Maybe a fresh start would be a good idea? Or is it a bit drastic?

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