Discussion at work got quite heated, not on my part I hasten to add. Two colleagues (1 and 2) were grumbling about another colleague (3). 3 is in the process of untangling themselves from a longterm relationship. By untangling I mean marketing and moving out of their shared property, they split emotionally in October but had to carry on living in the same house due to £. So 3 has had to have some time off to do this (understandably to me).
However, 1&2 think this is unreasonable and were carping obviously in the shared kitchen and could be heard by stakeholders btw. Saying
"Oh well, I've got to pick up x and y task because 3 is not here again. Honestly, talk about dramatic, it's not like they were married and had kids, I never took so long to break up with a boyfriend, when I was still dating!" face.
Now the way we work is we all muck in on projects to roughly the same level unless we are PM (neither me, 1,2or 3 are) so it's not like they have a fixed schedule and it's been 3 days over 4 weeks.
So I replied: "I don't think you are being very professional or fair to be honest" and walked back to my shared office with my . 1 took umbridge at this and followed me. You can't be overheard by the public in the offices btw, they are through a locked door, whereas the kitchen is open because public groups use it.
"We're only stating the facts Just, how dare you call us unprofessional!" So I answered that I didn't think it was professional to discuss a colleague in a derrogatory way, in an area where they can be over heard like that and that they should have compassion for 3 because they are going through a divorce. (I am divorced and a long term single parent btw).
1 then got arsey and said it's not a divorce and to say that devalues the commitment that people who get married and work to stay together have made and stormed out.
AIBU to think if you've lived with someone for a number of years, bought a property and had future plans together you are as married as you are ever going to be and if you need support when things change, you should get it? I'm only asking really because what I thought was an innocuous comment seemed to go from 0 to 60 and I don't understand why. Also 1 is at least 20 yrs younger than me (i'm mid -late 40s) so it's not like you would expect her to see mention of divorce as a slur or something as the elderly (80+) can sometimes and she's never expressed any religious belief or anything. It was just really bizarre! Or might I have missed something?
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AIBU?
To it's not unreasonable to say or think this in these circumstances?
8 replies
Justheretogiveaviewfrommyworld · 06/03/2019 19:03
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