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Taking the piss

(18 Posts)
Tactfulish Wed 06-Mar-19 13:40:33

I am getting increasingly frustrated at work with the men believe it or not taking the piss with 'flexible' working. which we do not have offically by the way
These are high paid jobs who do not report to me but I am responsible for the prioritisation of their work that they do for me/my customers.
Alos everytime I am trying to organise a customer meeting they have personel stuff to work round, picking up/dropping kids etc.
Both of thier DW are part time and one infact does 3 days as school hours yet he still comes in at gone 9.30am having had to do the school run.
I understand we all need to call on flexibilty for things from time to time but this is becoming routine, they are behaving like they do part time hours but are employed full time.
I am feeling frustrated as when my DC was younger I reduced my hours to allow me to cover school runs etc, I did not expect to do it reguarly in works time.
The other issue is they never say in advance they have these commitments or put them in thier calanders so its a guessing game where they are!! I am literarally it seems having to await permission from the wife before they will commit to something in working hours!
AIBU to feel soo pissed off about it.

Sexnotgender Wed 06-Mar-19 13:42:18

YANBU! That’s very unprofessional.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy Wed 06-Mar-19 13:42:30

Have you spoken to them about it? Or their line manager?

PlainSpeakingStraightTalking Wed 06-Mar-19 13:42:54

I am getting increasingly frustrated at work with the men believe it or not taking the piss with 'flexible' working. which we do not have offically by the way

Oddly I've got an office full of women doing this too .

If you have issues then report it up the food chain.

thecutecouple Wed 06-Mar-19 13:42:55

Talk to HR or your Manager. I worked in a similar setup and it was very frustrating.

Sirzy Wed 06-Mar-19 13:43:46

I don’t see why them being men is an issue. It’s a parent who is working around their childcare.

If it is causing issues you need to talk to them and/or talk to your manager. If they have been given flexible working then they need to ensure you are aware of when they will be in

CallipygianFancier Wed 06-Mar-19 13:47:14

Yes, talk to their manager(s), maybe insist at the very least on a shared calendar where these commitments are to be listed so you and others can plan around them.

PettyContractor Wed 06-Mar-19 13:52:10

I don't think they are doing anything wrong, other than being inconsiderate about letting people know their movements.

You need to report to your manager the impact on you of their behaviour. Maybe something will get fixed, but as it sounds like you are junior to them, unless the impact is big enough for someone more senior to take action, I'd guess there won't be much improvement.

blueluce85 Wed 06-Mar-19 13:58:27

Has everyone missed the fact that these men are taking flexi time, when the company doesn't actually do official flexi time, they are just being allowed to get away with it

Tactfulish Wed 06-Mar-19 15:42:18

I am not junior to them, the opposite in fact. I plan to raise it direclty with one of them as today he has not only told me he can't make a london meeting due to a 'personel commitment' but also said that to the customer which I am not ok with.
My point is not not made becuase they are 'men' more that in society as a rule women with children often go part time to accomodate childrens needs. They don't expect to stay full time but piss off to do the school run reguarly.
These are people I respect in lots of ways but their attitude has gotten worse over time and since their line managment is not based in the office.
Also even if we had flexi working surely that means you still do your contarced hours just in a more flexible way - thats not happening....

PuzzlingPuzzle Wed 06-Mar-19 15:50:40

The issue here is that you need to prioritise their work and organise customer meetings but these individuals are regularly unavailable for much of the working day, don’t update their calendars to reflect their availability and take a long time to get back to you regarding scheduling. I definitely think you need to raise it with them directly or with management as you feel is appropriate as it’s clearly making it difficult for you to do your job.

However, whilst I totally get your frustration, their wives’ employment situation or what you did when your DC were younger should stay out of any professional conversation.

Mmmmbrekkie Wed 06-Mar-19 16:00:04

You’ve not raised it with them
You plan to
Wait until you see how they respond before getting yourself twisted in to a pretzel.

peachgreen Wed 06-Mar-19 16:10:31

Common in my office (for both genders) because we're professionals and our executive board care more about us doing our jobs effectively than being present in the office for a specific length of time. There's a certain amount of give and take, imo - if I need to leave early to pick up my daughter I can, but equally if I need to work at an event after hours then I will (providing I'm given notice to sort childcare of course).

OKBobble Wed 06-Mar-19 19:23:00

As they don't report to you, you can't be sure that this way of working has not been agreed with the person they do report to.

I am mystified that you believe their wives should be taking on the things they are doing, even if they do work part-time. Why is that? are you not perpetuating the myth that this is wife work?

AmIRightOrAMeringue Wed 06-Mar-19 20:02:14


I think the fact they're men is a red herring and the fact they have wives that are part time is as well - their set up at home is nothing to do with you.

However they are presumably being contacted to do certain hours of a job and paid for it and they are not doing this for whatever reason. Also they are making your life more difficult if you don't know where they are and when they will be in.

You do need to speak to them to establish if they have officially changed their hours, and what their plans are to make up their hours if they are late, and is their line manager aware. If you are organising and prioritising work for them you need to know. You may also need to raise it up the chain if customers are being affected.

Biancadelrioisback Wed 06-Mar-19 20:07:21

Their home life has nothing to do with you. They don't report to you. I'm assuming you don't get to dictate their hours? Speak with their line manager or the chaps themselves if it bugs you. At my place of work we all come and go to pick up and drop off kids. As long as the work gets done they don't mind

Biancadelrioisback Wed 06-Mar-19 20:08:21

Also, where are you based? I couldn't attend a London meeting for example due to personal circumstances unless I had a month's notice!

VelvetSpoon Wed 06-Mar-19 20:14:08

I hate this bullshit...where men are feted for doing any childcare yet a woman doesn't get the same consideration (or if she does she's pigeonholed as a mum). When my DC were young if I EVER wanted to leave early or come in late to go to a school thing or pick up a sick kid, I had to go cap in fucking hand to my manager (despite being a very senior and well qualified professional myself) and basically beg permission. Including explaining how and when I'd make up the time and why my parents/ partner couldn't do it instead (dead/ dead/ at work and uncontactable were the answers). Completely humiliating.

Yet now I work with men who sail out of the office as they please with an airy wave of their hand to go to Freddie's school play or collect Jasmine from piano lessons (often with their wives who don't work or are PT). Or because they don't have childcare outside of school have to leave every time their child is ill...whereas it was always made clear to me the expectation was I'd get my childminder to pick up and I was only allowed to go if she couldn't!. Or just turn up an hour late and no one bats an eyelid. Whereas the last time I wasn't in before 9 (I was stuck in traffic and I don't have handsfree in my car) I had 5 missed calls and it was like the world was ending. Equality...dont make me laugh.

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