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Aibu to think you don't leave ten year old home alone for three hours ????

(212 Posts)
HotChocLit Tue 05-Mar-19 22:00:25

My neighbour works 23 miles away. We live rurally. Last year she left her then 9 year old locked out. Hed had forgotten his house key. I rang her husband. I was a bit worried at the time but put it down to a mistake. It happened again this afternoon. Would you think it unreasonable to report concerns to Children's services?

Ilove Tue 05-Mar-19 22:01:35

I’d offer to keep a spare key for them

youaremyrain Tue 05-Mar-19 22:02:00

Was it raining? Was there somewhere to shelter? How did the husband react?

Aquamarine1029 Tue 05-Mar-19 22:02:47

I think I would report it. That child is vulnerable.

HotChocLit Tue 05-Mar-19 22:03:43

Very very cold and wet both times. he's a lonely lad so no mates to go round. Nowhere to shelter. Husband was angry with him for losing his key. I countered with he's nine.

WorraLiberty Tue 05-Mar-19 22:04:07

So last year they made a mistake with the key. That's been and gone now.

Are they regularly leaving a 10 year old home alone for 3 hours now?

runandbehappy50 Tue 05-Mar-19 22:04:07

Why the massive drama?

Children's services are overrun with much bigger issues. Much bigger

HotChocLit Tue 05-Mar-19 22:05:04

Aquamarine I feel that way too but I don't want to make things worse for him

HotChocLit Tue 05-Mar-19 22:05:22

Erm every day...

JazzerMcJazzer Tue 05-Mar-19 22:06:33

I don’t get the connection between leaving him home alone for 3 hours and him being locked out. Presumably he came into your place while he waited for his parents?

HotChocLit Tue 05-Mar-19 22:06:54

Because it's very cold here and the gritters were out. He'd no-one to look after him. He's a child. Id happily take him in.

HotChocLit Tue 05-Mar-19 22:07:35

He was locked out and they both wouldn't be back till 7

WorraLiberty Tue 05-Mar-19 22:07:39

Is your concern that he's being left alone or that when he forgets his key, he's locked out?

If it's the latter, can you offer to take a key for them?

IncrediblySadToo Tue 05-Mar-19 22:09:21

SS have far more pressing problems than a 10yo home alone for 3 hours, or a child losing his key once a year.

As their neighbour is more interested in judging than helping, their DS does need a mobile phone.

PCohle Tue 05-Mar-19 22:10:07

Well the issue isn't really him forgetting the key is it. It's only ever happened twice and this second incident may well prompt his parents to put in place a different system themselves.

It's whether a 9/10 year old being regularly left alone for 3 hours is ok. I think a lot depends on the child but if you're concerned why not speak to the school in the first instance?

To be honest I think his parents are probably better placed to know whether this is OK than you.

HotChocLit Tue 05-Mar-19 22:10:38

His older sister is meant to be at home. Don't think she's too keen. My concern is he's immature and that if an accident happened he wouldn t know what to do.

HotChocLit Tue 05-Mar-19 22:11:06

Actually he's often home solo. Idk.

HotChocLit Tue 05-Mar-19 22:11:33

Like every day

LovingLola Tue 05-Mar-19 22:12:08

How old is the sister ?

BrieAndChilli Tue 05-Mar-19 22:12:30

If he’s 10 then he’s probably in year 6? I’m a few months time he will be starting secondary school where he will be getting himself to and from school, plus there’s no afterschool childcare so may have to come home and be by himself for a few hours? DD is 10 and in year 6 and fully capable of being left at home alone.
It does depend on the child though. DS1 is 12 and comes home twice a week to an empty house until 6pm and has a key (which miraculously he hasn’t lost yet!) and is often left at home on a weekend if he doesn’t want to come shopping etc.
DD age 10 isn’t often left home alone yet and on the odd occasion is with DS1.
DS2 is 8 and I can’t foresee leaving him along for a long while yet as he’s not as sensible as the other two and would get up to all sorts!!

I only work a 5 minute drive away and they have mobiles plus the landline so if anything happened I could be home pretty quickly, plus the neighbours across the road are retired and often home.

HotChocLit Tue 05-Mar-19 22:12:32

Yr 10

Lovestonap Tue 05-Mar-19 22:13:03

I don't understand, this happened last year but you've decided to be outraged now because it happened once again? I leave my 9 and a half year old alone for a couple of hours sometimes. He prefers it to being dragged round the shops with me. He has rules and he knows what to do/where to go if there's a problem. Which is to a neighbour. One, hopefully who wouldn't then contact child services!?!
Be a good neighbour, take a key for them so if he gets stuck again you can help. Or would you consider it more helpful to try to have him taken into care?

Contraceptionismyfriend Tue 05-Mar-19 22:14:08

He must have a key and if he's forgotten that then it's down to him.
He's 10. He should be fine to be home alone for a few hours after school before his parents get home.

HotChocLit Tue 05-Mar-19 22:14:52

The after school and brek club both got cancelled so I understand they have less op tions. Her school is about 40mins drive away. His job an hour plus.

MrsEricBana Tue 05-Mar-19 22:15:21

I agree with you OP, it's far too young to be left alone for hours every day. I think alerting CS is a good idea and they can check. It's not up to you to tackle the parents the child's school. Poor lad.

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