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Husband offended

(66 Posts)
pancakes22 Tue 05-Mar-19 21:16:44

Husband singing three blind mice earlier to DD. I got the giggles as he got the tune wrong. He then refused to sing anymore to her. When I said to him that he overreacted he has said that he is really offended that I would laugh at him rather than with him and that he is really paranoid now and won't ever sing a tune he doesn't know.

I mean... come on. Seriously? AIBU that this is really petty? Or actually have I been a bit cruel and you think this is a genuine reason to be offended?

bumblingbovine49 Wed 06-Mar-19 07:33:16

Singing absolutely is an expression joy and noone should be mocked for that if they are doing it with friends/ family in private and having s moment of connection.

M4J4 Wed 06-Mar-19 07:28:21


“wasn't thinking of this thread specifically, just your posting style in general“

Ah. Well, you c&p a post where I have been unkind, and then we’ll talk.

Eh?! Where has this come from? I've never seen an unkind post from @BertrandRussell ! Have you mistaken her for someone else?

The thing I find with some people (and my own DH can be like this) is that they think it's fine for them to be 'honest' or laugh, but they can't take it when someone gives them the same treatment. Suddenly they become precious little snowflakes, to use an overused expression.

bumblingbovine49 Wed 06-Mar-19 07:24:20

My community singing group is full of people who have been treated like this by others in the past. I used to laugh it off when people said the same to me but it actually really hurt

origamiunicorn Wed 06-Mar-19 07:20:26

... why do people post and then disappear? confused

BoneyBackJefferson Wed 06-Mar-19 06:50:08

A thread where a man is upset and the consensus is that he should get over it.

Does no-one else link this to why men don't show their feelings?

AgentJohnson Wed 06-Mar-19 06:22:36

This would be one of those moments to chuckle to yourself, what benefit was there to broadcasting your negativity?

Shoxfordian Wed 06-Mar-19 05:11:51

It does sound like you've inadvertently touched a nerve. Say sorry and ask him why it upset him so much.

strawberrisc Wed 06-Mar-19 05:00:44

Is it part of a bigger picture? My ex used to criticise EVERYTHING I did but in a way I didn’t fully realise for years.

kateandme Wed 06-Mar-19 04:22:25

i think particularly men when embaressed get huffy.
im oversensitive and would be mortified too.if it was to dp I don't think id like to take offense but I don't know that.depends on the day!
so I cant berate him just because he is male.

Seren85 Wed 06-Mar-19 02:49:35

I know it isn't the same but my sister often sings and does all the actions with my niece. She can't sing for toffee but who cares, her child loves it. She once handed her to me and said "Auntie Seren will sing this one with you". I also can't sing for toffee and was very embarrassed but I did it because I love my niece. I'd have been mortified if someone laughed at me when I was trying to entertain a child Iove. Overreaction maybe but I can see why it stung.

Justagirlwholovesaboy Wed 06-Mar-19 02:39:34

I think from the mixed response this really does depend on your relationship with DH. In mine we always joke about and take the p*ss out of everything, nothing is serious though. Is this normal for you OP or did it come across as serious and belittling? Only you know your own relationship, and only he knows why it hurt. I would sit down and apologise and explain it was just in jest and find the reason it hurt him

whywhywhy6 Wed 06-Mar-19 02:25:43

YWBU. I am hard to offend and I would be offended at that too, TBH.

Rtmhwales Tue 05-Mar-19 23:41:43

I'm mostly amazed the the OP asked if she was being unreasonable, some said yes, so she said oops can see your point.

I'm so used to these threads where the OP immediately becomes defensive and tells everyone they're wrong (complete with some ridiculously long drip feed). Well done OP. Giggling or not you're a good, mature person wink

HomeMadeMadness Tue 05-Mar-19 23:31:12

Well unless he's generally really over sensitive then either you touched a nerve about his bad singing voice or you were laughing in an unpleasant way rather than a loving, joking way. Unless he's always super sensitive and assuming this is someone you actually love surely you just apologise?

BertrandRussell Tue 05-Mar-19 23:14:36

“wasn't thinking of this thread specifically, just your posting style in general“

Ah. Well, you c&p a post where I have been unkind, and then we’ll talk.

Niveous Tue 05-Mar-19 23:10:40

I wasn't thinking of this thread specifically, just your posting style in general.

BertrandRussell Tue 05-Mar-19 23:05:37

“I wasn't referring to the OP.”

grin . If you think I was being unkind you must be the most hypersensitive person alive!

Lockheart Tue 05-Mar-19 23:03:09

I'm very self-conscious about singing or reading aloud, lots of things like that. If my partner laughed at me whilst I was doing it I'd be upset and certainly wouldn't do it within earshot of them again, if at all! Perhaps he's the same?

HappyLife21 Tue 05-Mar-19 23:03:07

I am a super confident person in most things, but there something about singing... lovely to do with my DD but would feel mortified and ashamed if someone laughed at me.

Niveous Tue 05-Mar-19 23:02:17

I wasn't referring to the OP.

BertrandRussell Tue 05-Mar-19 23:00:41

I missed the bit where the OP’s dp layghed at her about something she was sensitive about....

Niveous Tue 05-Mar-19 22:58:05

Because that’s what kind people do.

people in glass houses...

Bluestitch Tue 05-Mar-19 22:57:15

My partner gets very self conscious when doing anything 'performy' with the kids like reading aloud or singing. He does it because he wants to do things like that for them but it doesn't come easily to him and he'd be really upset if I mocked him.

BertrandRussell Tue 05-Mar-19 22:55:14

“You're a drama queen when your reaction is far more dramatic than the situation warrants.“
People are allowed to be sensitive about stuff. The proper response is “i’m sorry, love- I didn’t mean to upset you”. Because that’s what kind people do.

miaCara Tue 05-Mar-19 22:53:12

Aww I feel a bit sad at the thought of a loving Daddy being laughed at while hes connecting with his little child.
I know hes probably being a bit dramatic but sometimes its the small things that wound you. A friend who was about size 4-6 refused to have her legs uncovered -always wore sturdy trousers. The reason? Because someone she respected once remarked on her 'footballers legs'. A lifetime of no nice dresses or skirts because of a throwaway remark.

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